Not depressed, just sad and distressed....

... so it doesn't help any to try to take St. John Wort or herbal stimulants. So now I am just wired and read to burn tires and throw Molotovs.

Seriously, how did the oversensitive deal in past, in hard times of the history? Well, according to E. M. Remarque they drunk a lot of Calvados and rum. But drinking is not the solution, especially if you are not such a good writer, as EMR, right?

I guess I should volunteer to help the Syrians passing trhough my xenophobic country to other less xenophobic countries. Maybe that would give me feeling of some control. Although doing the same thing, being uberactive when it comes to Ukraine did nada. Only I feel more paranoid and get death threats through my Facebook (some of them are so badly spelled it's almost funny).

Just.... it feels the world did end in 2012 and right now it's just the higher power trolling on us. It sucks to discover your classmate or your drinking mate a xenophobic assholes. Or that your nation kinda sucks. Or that you shoulda probably travelled more because the open boardered Europe is a past and your money will be eaten by the inflation anyways. Or the fact that people ****ing drown trying to get to this part of world, not knowing how rotten it is and that hating them, starved and scared boat people, is big topic to gain electorate on.

I just hate humanity right now, that's it.

I feel this way during tragedies, too. I feel like during times of tragedy you really learn who thinks the way you do. A lot has happened this year that's also made me wonder where the humanity is...

We are beinf trolled, higher power or not. With the world going to ****, we quickly see how each of our nations are selfish and apathetic, especially starting with the people around us.

It hurts when you love humanity and want to save it Venus. It's also what will drive you crazy. It's like a bad relationship you can't leave. I just hope you find the serenity and strength to keep doing the right thing, even if it feels like you have no control or that nothing changes. It's who you are, and people like you do make a difference in the end.

<3 Don't give up.

It helps me to just go sit in the park and think about trees. How long the weather the elements, how rough or smooth their bark, the veins in their leaves. The whole wonderful process of photosynthesis, the rings they create. That you can cut grass and it continues to grow. How rocks were made.

Nature in general helps, I just need to keep humans out of it or I'll focus on the negative stuff we do that affects nature. Just focusing on the process of nature.