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#1
Nov 08, 2015, 02:42 AM
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Hi everyone long time lurker and new poster here. I need some advice and an objective opinion because I'm at crossroads here. My parents have always been people that I have respected and loved alot but now I look back on my life and I'm starting to hate them, despise to the point I can't stand them and just being around them makes me sick. So a little background info I was diagnosed as rapid cycling treatment resistant bipolar a little less than a year ago (I'm 22 btw) and had my first panic attack/breakdown around year and a half. I've always been depressed, for as far back as I can remember and looking back on my life my parents have done nothing but made my situation worse. I was a chubby kid and my dad and brother would constantly make fun of me for it. My mother would have outbursts about me criticizing my weight and would end with me crying.My brother( he is 2 years younger) would constantly fight and it would always end with my brother hitting me and me crying and for some reason my parents would always blame me for it with " I'm older therefore I shouldn't have provoked him" or "Why do you keep playing with him, just play by yourself and ignore him"
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#2
Nov 08, 2015, 10:57 AM
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first .. you are very young ... and as you age your opinion will change so be careful in your feelings and actions ... hate is such a powerful and negative word ... it is something you do not need in your life ... I was lead to discover that I was emotionly "deprived" as a child. ... and I have a very hard time feeling connected with people today because of it .. but I do not blame my parents ... they were just doing what they were taught by there parents .. that is why it takes so long to change things we are creatures of habit ... you will find you have more to be thankful for than to be angry about ... be understanding none of us are perfect ... you are 22 this is your life now ... live it in a positive way ... reguardless of your past the future is yours to decide ... set your goals and work to reach them ... be thankful of what good you did get from them ... do not dwell on what might have been and instead reach out for what can be ...peace my friend ...
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 Pastel Kitten, Trippin2.0
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#3
Nov 08, 2015, 12:47 PM
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Are they still doing stuff like that or is this all in the past? If it is all in the past forgive them. they are not the same people now as you are an adult and they wear when you were a child. The human and they f*** up. I had a rough childhood too but my parents the different now. they don't have the stress of raising a child. when I had my son I understood more but I **** up too as a parents. I hope my child can forgive me when he gets older. So forgive them if its not still happening.
If this still just as critical of you as they used to be Slowly put them out of your life. Like only take their calls when they reach out to you, only visit on holidays, treat them like any other human being that you come across.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#4
Nov 08, 2015, 02:38 PM
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#5
Nov 08, 2015, 02:44 PM
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I think before taking action on your parents talk it out with a therapist. I had to separate from them to be healthy but I came from a very abusive situation from both of them. If anything it's your life to live on your terms and you should build your life independently, free of judgment, and keep a healthy distance if they are triggering negative emotions.
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#6
Nov 08, 2015, 03:18 PM
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I was abused by my parents, and it took a lot of therapy to differentiate my own self from what they taught me. I do feel compassion for them now, but it doesn't excuse them from what they did. It means that I'm not carrying them around in my head anymore. I didn't speak to them because I didn't want to be whisked away into their drama, but I made peace with both of them before they died.
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 Cocosurviving
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| Cocosurviving
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#7
Nov 08, 2015, 05:52 PM
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I understand being so hurt that you feel hate and despite them. I've been there. It took therapy to get me to a better place. Don't feel one bit bad for sharing your honest opinions. Some people can relate and others can not. It took me two years almost to get passed feeling like I hated my dad. I have problems with my mom too. I agree with Fharraige. Consider therapy. There are also support groups Google NAMI and DBSA. The choice is yours you can go to therapy work through things and never speak to them. Or you can try to have a relationship with them.
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