[palerider69]

Being recently diagnosed I am pretty confused about alotof things.
I assume that bi-polar doesn't just start at 43 years of age. I haven't really had much time to process all of this, but I wouldn't think this just begins at my age. I know I was severely emotionally shut down with anger really being the only thing I have felt in years. Now, as of a month ago when my wife left me I now feel the full range of emotions and I feel like it is crushing me. For the most part I am paralyzed in daily life. I want to get up and do things I just can't seem to force myself to do them. Instead I have been replaying every mistake I made in my marriage, and raising our kids. My wife is being supportive in her own way know that she knows this has been beyond my control, but she is really on the fence as to whether she can try fixing this ****** marriage of ours. I think that may be one of the reasons I'm stuck right now. I just don't know what or how to make myself move.

[Moreta]

If you don't have a therapist i suggest you get one. They can help you process you emotions. A lot of emotions come with bipolar and a therapist can help you understand them. Maybe you and your wife can do marriage counseling together. It helped me and my husband. I suggest picking up the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Bipolar workbook. It gives helpful tips on how to deal with emotions. I find it helpful.

Also remember you can't change the past, but you can learn from it and move on.

[Unrigged64072835]

A therapist will also help with the shame you're feeling now. The thing is you should work on yourself first so you can be more supportive to your wife (if she sticks around) and your kids. You can't give out of an empty bucket.

FWIW, I didn't get diagnosed until I was 46, and I was misdiagnosed with depression for over twenty years.

Check out this article in the Psych Central Bipolar guide for a complete list of symptoms and ways to cope with them... Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression) | Psych Central.