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#1
Dec 01, 2015, 09:24 PM
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I know what everyone's thinking. Tisk tisk right? Well besides my lack of transportation at the moment, I'm just scared. Last two times I sat down with someone I cried. That's when my PTSD diagnosis came around. They always want to talk about my childhood or my family and I end up crying so hard I can't breath. I'm not a cryer and crying in front of a stranger is so embarrassing to me. I feel so vulnerable. Then I walk out into the waiting room where everyone can tell that I was crying. I get it's obviously a subject I need help with but just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
I've seen tdocs in the past but they were more concerned with my present problems and didn't ask about my history. In those sessions I wouldn't say much or keep a lot of details hidden. I would even lie as to not bering up questions or concerns. I guess I have a issue opening up to people I don't know or trust. Also I would ALWAYS be canceling appointments at the last minute. I've even walked out of the waiting room. With those two issues, I won't go to therapy. I know that I should and I know it may help in the long run but I just can't bring myself to make that move. There's therapists available at my pdocs but I'm picky too. I don't want anyone young, male, inexperienced ect. I don't know why it's so hard for me to let my wall down in front of people. I know I'm only hindering my own recovery here but I just can't.  Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia Risperdal 4mg Trileptal 300mgs Buspar 45mgs Ativan 1mg PRN Vyvance 70mgs PRN |
 Pastel Kitten, raspberrytorte
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#2
Dec 01, 2015, 09:54 PM
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Don't feel bad. I don't have a therapist either. The last three I tried I dropped for various reasons (one I only saw once and the last one I stopped seeing after three appointments because I didn't trust her and she kept on bringing up the whole bipolar thing and I was in denial and didn't want to talk about that. It was right after my last hospital experience and in hindsight I think I was still paranoid).
Anyway, again don't feel bad. Hugs.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#3
Dec 01, 2015, 10:14 PM
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No point going to therapy if your not going to find help. Its okay to not have a T .
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
 HALLIEBETH87
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#4
Dec 01, 2015, 10:22 PM
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I use to go to therapy. I've had good experiences I just stopped going. It's ok not to go if you don't want to
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#5
Dec 01, 2015, 10:33 PM
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It's difficult to find the right therapist for you. And most of it is trial and error and that can be daunting. My current therapist doesn't really do anything for me. He actually nods off during my sessions. I don't really get any value out of going so I keep spacing the sessions out further and further apart. Therapy is hard work and can be exhausting. Don't sweat it. Maybe someday you'll want to tackle that hurdle, or maybe you'll find you do better without.
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