[cashart10]

My husband is out of a job as they are closing his shop at the end of the month. He is our only source of income and we are already poor. I have had bad day after bad day and sometimes

Possible trigger:

suicide feels like such a beautiful escape. I have learned it's not even a possibility though because of my very young kiddos.

So, I just suffer. As usual, I just suffer. I want so badly to try this new med, praying it will be some miracle but apparently my pdoc isn't quite as eager. I just had my blood drawn again yesterday...we'll see if it is futile. I already tried calling his office and they aren't answering. To make things worse, my family, my mom and husband especially, just don't understand. They don't get the logic in the impossibility of "doing things" making me "better ." I'd rather not try anymore.

[confusedbyself]

Cashart10,,,, SOOOOOO sorry you are going through all that. I would tell you that it will be okay, but we both know the words are futile and really wont change the feelings. Obviously I have been and am close to where you are and sympathize and empathize.

The only thing I can say is that somehow as the bottom keeps falling out, there seems to be something there to keep us from totally falling into a black hole (even if it feels like we are). I sure hope and will pray that things improve for you quickly in family, life and your internal struggles.

[alincdytyourmeds]

Maybe he will get a better paying job. Sometimes we are forced out of our comfort zones and into new ones. I hope it all works out.

[Thrubeingcool13]

Don't let the weather here in KY bring you down....."You can catch the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right"... I know what your going thru that's not meant to discredit your feelings its meant to let you know there are more of "us" than you realize. I'd be more than happy to discuss tools that I have found to help me thru moments like these")

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by alincdytyourmeds

Maybe he will get a better paying job. Sometimes we are forced out of our comfort zones and into new ones. I hope it all works out.

Thank you for your amazing perspective. I've battled between sheer terror and the belief that God will provide since finding this out on Monday. My husband has more faith in this than I do and sees things greatly more from your perspective than my alternating perspectives (although I'm certain there is more stress than he lets on). Obviously the worry and depression that I cannot seem to fight with any fervor have won over on this post. Reading this did, however, bring comfort.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by mentor

Don't let the weather here in KY bring you down....."You can catch the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right"... I know what your going thru that's not meant to discredit your feelings its meant to let you know there are more of "us" than you realize. I'd be more than happy to discuss tools that I have found to help me thru moments like these")

No kidding about this weather!!! Thank you for sharing your support and the realization that I am not alone! I would love to hear the the tools you have used. Although I know/have known better, it FEELS as though my tool box is empty.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by confusedbyself

Cashart10,,,, SOOOOOO sorry you are going through all that. I would tell you that it will be okay, but we both know the words are futile and really wont change the feelings. Obviously I have been and am close to where you are and sympathize and empathize.

The only thing I can say is that somehow as the bottom keeps falling out, there seems to be something there to keep us from totally falling into a black hole (even if it feels like we are). I sure hope and will pray that things improve for you quickly in family, life and your internal struggles.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support. I need both right now.

[BlackSheep79]

Right now the company I have been working for has been letting go of people. Big problem is my husband and I both work there. The stress of not knowing is unbearable. We get by, but just enough right now. I'm so sorry about your meds, done it. It's so hard when others can't understand what we deal with on a daily basis. It seems like for me I feel good that I made it another day without ending it all. In my situation my husband is burnt out right now. From talking to him, I understand that he is frustrated because he can't make it better and see the old me that was happy. I'm sure that's what is going on with your husband and mom. I just called a therapist this week because I realized that after all these years I thought I was able to manage this, but I can't. Are you able to go to therapy? Maybe a support group for your husband and mom?

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry to hear this. I do hope your husband finds another job and you will able to get your meds soon. You and your family are in my prayers.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by BlackSheep79

Right now the company I have been working for has been letting go of people. Big problem is my husband and I both work there. The stress of not knowing is unbearable. We get by, but just enough right now. I'm so sorry about your meds, done it. It's so hard when others can't understand what we deal with on a daily basis. It seems like for me I feel good that I made it another day without ending it all. In my situation my husband is burnt out right now. From talking to him, I understand that he is frustrated because he can't make it better and see the old me that was happy. I'm sure that's what is going on with your husband and mom. I just called a therapist this week because I realized that after all these years I thought I was able to manage this, but I can't. Are you able to go to therapy? Maybe a support group for your husband and mom?

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's and your work. It sounds like you understand what I am experiencing. It is a struggle to have so much uncertainty. I actually just found a therapist with whom I "click" about 2 months ago and I am fairly ecstatic about her. Therapy is making a difference, albeit it doesn't always FEEL like it, constantly. I appreciate her so much.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by cashart10

No kidding about this weather!!! Thank you for sharing your support and the realization that I am not alone! I would love to hear the the tools you have used. Although I know/have known better, it FEELS as though my tool box is empty.

The weather here in ky is affecting me today for sure!

[Thrubeingcool13]

Originally Posted by cashart10

No kidding about this weather!!! Thank you for sharing your support and the realization that I am not alone! I would love to hear the the tools you have used. Although I know/have known better, it FEELS as though my tool box is empty.

As long as we don't forget the reality of it all...we are all confused by similar dilemmas although yours is most important to you. Have you ever taken a moment and really looked at your family? Cousins , Gparents, Aunts etc.
They are patterns for all of this...your genealogy is the first step towards understanding.

[Thrubeingcool13]

No BS...I can walk you through the basics.

It will be OK. It always is. Be strong.

[catlover21]

So sorry that happened to you. I am in jeopardy of losing my job right now so I know how stressful it is, seeing as I am the breadwinner between me and my husband.

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