cranky

I'm having a horrible time sleeping the last few days. I think I'm having a bit of a mixed episode which explains why I feel slightly better but am not on any reasonble measure. And I am so cranky.

Christmas is going to be hard this year. As some of you know my brother was sentenced to probation for something fairly ugly and way too close to some of my own past experiences about 2 weeks ago. We'd been told that he wouldn't be allowed to leave his county and my therapist and I had decided I wouldn't do Christmas with him this year but the attorney was wrong and he is coming. For 3 days. So I'm devising plans to make sure that I'm "busy" for as much of that time as possible. I'm not ready to be with him. And right now is not the time for me to set down limits because I can't do it calmly.

And unless things are much better by the 21st right after Christmas I'll start tapering Seroquel and maybe klonopin so I can go on Clozaril. I'll be IP for getting off Seroquel and my pdoc has told me that I won't be feeling good yet when I come home from the hospital b/c my clozaril dose won't be high enough. So that is kind of scary. ECT was considered and discarded a few months ago and I need to find out if ECT is still a possibility. Or if it is a better possibility than before rather. I'll have a different IP dr. so anything could happen.

I just need to get past being cranky. I am getting offended too easily. If that's happened on here (it has) I apologize. Hopefully this will pass quickly.

We love you hun ... just take care of yourself ...

Don't worry. You're fine. Hugs!

Are you going to start tapering off of seroquel ahead of time? Or are you doing it all rapidly in the hospital?

Being cranky is a hard place to be. It makes even the most simple interactions difficult. I hope the change in meds help. Good luck to you.

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I think I'm going to start at home and when it gets bad I'll be admitted. However it is likely to get bad pretty quickly based on lowering my dose a bit last summer to try to stop side effects of too much dopamine. I'm on 1200 mg and by 800 mg the only place I belonged was IP. I don't think I was doing very well at 1000 mg. So mostly it will be a rapid taper. Since missing a dose makes me sick and lowering the dose makes me very depressed on top of the depression I already have, I really am not looking forward to this. But I have to get off it anyway; it goes generic in 2016 and I won't be able to afford the co-pays then.

Oh! I'm sure in the hospital you'll be okay.

There's not a generic XR seroquel? Darn. The stuff helps so much with my anxiety I was going to ask my pdoc about the XR and thought than maybe I wouldn't need a separate anti anxiety med and could cut my med intake down to two.

There will be a generic but Medicare will make it a high tier drug which means a high co-pay that I won't be able to afford. It will come down in a year or two. Right now it is still name-brand. I think it goes generic in November. That is always changeable; one of my meds could have gone generic 2 years ago and hasn't but I guess I should say that there was a reasonable chance I was going to have to go off this in 2016 anyway, not that I WOULD definitely have to. I get it free now but patient assistance usually ends when the drug is generic. Unfortunately I can't afford $30-$50 copays. I have one med that I absolutely have to take to control my asthma that I pay more for but that's the only one I can do that for and even it has gotten cheaper with time.

I hear ya on being "busy" during family events. Plan a movie and a spa day. Set a limit on how much family time you can handle and stick to it.

O, the holidays. Le sigh

I hope the med change works out for you and that you can find some ways to take care of yourself over the holidays.

You're going through a lot. Allow yourself to engage in the activities you most enjoy. You deserve that relaxation. I hope that things start smoothing out soon.

I hear ya... In the process of a med change myself it had to wean the baby first... Not sure if it's the hormonal shift too or what but haven't been this cranky and miserable in years!!! Rather be in labor I swear cuz that comes with caring family and much-needed downtime after... Yawn, no sleep here either