Urge to die?

Hi there,

Now I have a psych history for many years and under a pdoc and his nurses. I am on seroquel, zoloft and depakote. At the moment I only really feel a little bit anxious (Have been quite distressed lately, but seeing my pdoc on the 23rd of december) however I'm not depressed ect.

However, I just have this urge to kill myself, It's just an impulse, just like "Hold on, I want to just kill myself quickly" type of impulse.

Any ideas why? I suffer from undiagnosed bipolar, maybe personality disorder but almost certain Cyclothymia.

I'm not bipolar, but when I get the feeling that I want to kill myself, it is just the need to avoid something very frightening -- in particular the feeling that I will be very severely punished for something, and i have to avoid that at all costs. Clearly comes from childhood.

I guess so. But really I have no real thing to avoid, fine I'm a little bit annoyed, but nothing drastic. I'm even starting a new job which i'm excited for. I just want to die, just out of impulse.

Try to examine the impulse. See if there is anything more to it.

For me, sometimes anxiety can bring up impulsive thoughts like that. I don't worry about it unless I start planning to do something. Then I get help immediately.

Sometimes I feel like I am following my brain. Following, not driving.

Dissect thought that suggests action. No - don't get married cause your bored. No- don't scream at the neighbor. No- don't send a letter to the Dhalai Lama. No- don't try to commit suicide. No- don't run naked down the street. No- don't flash that semi. No- don't fly to Delaware for the weekend.

Impulse is a part of this disorder. Try to teach yourself basic guidelines like - Sleep on it. Write out pros and cons. Talk to someone you know supports you.