Nobody really understand bipolar except for bipolar people. There's more to a bipolar person than just ups and downs. Sometimes we can't get out of bed because the depression and guilt has dragged us down. It's hard trying to be a mommy and wife and everything everyday while fighting this awful disease mood disorder in my head. I even take my mediation to try and stabilize myself and I have the worst side effects ever! It makes me want to stop taking them but I know if I do I go crazy out of control and then non functional and have the worst mood swings ever. So I have to choose to take my medicine and feel like crap or suffer even more off and ruin my marriage ect. I wish I was normal

[RomanJames2014]

Exactly. I dunno about you guys but for me the hardest part is keeping it a secret. It's like a burden or a secret identity that I have to deal with and not tell anyone.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mountainbard]

Truer words were never spoken, Sky. I'm sorry your meds give you such bad side effects. I am very lucky in that my combination works and gives me no side effects. I try to remind myself that I was given bipolar disorder for a reason, and part of that reason is to learn to manage it, and rise above it. But sometimes I just wish I was normal too. RomanJames I've told my family-- and of course my wife knows.Due to my isolating during depression I don't have any friends left, but I'm trying to get back into the workforce and I won't be disclosing there. So I know what you mean.

[scatterbrained04]

I so agree. Bipolar is so much more than just changing moods. Dealing with bipolar can be such a nightmare, and we so often are battling it alone. If we had a physical illness, people would be so much more supportive. We could TALK about it.

[fishin fool]

I have to agree. Nobody really understands and it gets very hard sometimes.

[Cat_Lover_58]

I so agree with all the above posts! I've lately been keenly aware of how bipolar and depression have robbed me of my life!

[Unrigged64072835]

I agree with what was said. It is hard, and not having people understand that this IS an illness makes it even harder. But when I look back, I realize that I haven't been normal in a very long time, and I'm more normal now than I have been.

[Pastel Kitten]

Exactly. Today was just another reminder of how awful this disorder is. And how on earth can I explain it to people? I can't, because words just can't describe a nightmare you can't wake up from.

[LorrieTorrie]

I couldn't agree more. I'm so tired of people telling me that bipolar isn't real. I'm tired of this constant battle that I fight daily in silence. I'm almost wondering what's the point. I just want to disappear. I've ruined my life, and my husband is on the verge of divorcing me. At least if I leave now I can spare my kids the disappointment of having me as a mother.

[HALLIEBETH87]

It's like we have to hide mental illness like it's our fault we have it. People don't condemn people with illnesses like cancer but there's a crap ton of stigma for us.

[hopeless2015]

I think the hardest part for me is just being diagnosed this year people are waiting for me to go back to who I was before and I know I can't. I was steadily declining and I can't pretend to be what I'm not anymore!! Every day is hard

Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk

[LorrieTorrie]

Coming here and being able to see that I'm not the only one already makes me feel so much better. I'm sorry that other people feel this way, but it is somewhat comforting to know that I'm not alone. To hear people describe the exact way that I feel just brings tears to my eyes. I was just diagnosed this year, but I've been declining for years. I just want to be better already. It's so frustrating because I probably never will be who I was. No matter how bad I want it.

[MistressStayc]

This is the exact thread I needed today. I feel so trapped by my own head sometimes and no one truly understands but people who also suffer. I am so tired of hiding my pain and struggles. I wish my life didn't have to be this way. I wish I knew what it was like not to deal with this awful thing. I don't remember a time when it was different and have only known this challenging existence. But after reading this thread I feel less alone.

I agree. Local bipolar support group helped me...I found it on meetup.com...I totally relate, it's hard. xo

[gayleggg]

I know it cheats me and my husband out of the life we once had. The depression is worst for me to the point of not feeling like doing anything but lay on the couch. I regret being able to make memories like I used to do.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[avlady]

i woke at 4 this morning and got back to bed at 8 am. does anyone here have sleeping issues with bipolar? i do have sleep apnea but i think there is more to it, probably from the bipolar?

[cashart10]

I can relate entirely. I have a very rich support group who would do about anything to protect me. They help me by encouraging me and bolstering my spirit. However, they also nag me at times and treat me as a child. They sometimes assume I'm better when in reality I'm worse. They have far greater expectations of me than I can contain and they often ask me embarrasing questions like "have you thought about suicide today?" I appreciate the love and support they offer tremendously but I know that they don't really understand.

I also feel the need to hide it from the majority of those in my life. That said, I often advocate for mental health awareness, especially in bipolar disorder, on facebook.

[Perry Gunite]

I don't think anyone truly understands each case. I can't speak to people looking down on it as a disease. Each battle is unique just like each battle with cancer is unique. They both are something that you had no control over getting. The difference is how you react to the battles. Cancer patients can give in and hate everything for having cancer or they can live each day to the fullest. Some days are hard, really hard. Yes, cancer is a more accepted and tolerated with empathy, but they both can rob a life of what we want.
I have been a spouse of someone who eventually was diagnosed bi-polar, PTSD, BPD. While this was a tough transition for both, it is about accepting , understanding, support, respect , and following a treatment plan.
The same person was also diagnosed with brain cancer at a later point and became a caregiver to another struggle I could only stand by and support.
I can't claim to understand either, but know that both diseases and diagnosis needed to have a good treatment plan that had to be followed and accepted.
I think the hard parts are so different for the person diagnosed and the codependent caregiver.
While the person that is diagnosed wants to go back or just be normal, they struggle because there is no going back.
The partner has different struggles because they also want to go back. They know that this is also out of their control. Each is trapped in a way. The codependent however thinks they can walk away entirely. They really can't if they care.
Where it breaks down is when there is no respect for self or the others in either case. Sadly anger enters into the equation for both.
This is the part of the struggle that will change it all.
I pray for understanding, compassion and respect of self and respect of others in this battle.

[Amy Today]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

I think the hardest part for me is just being diagnosed this year people are waiting for me to go back to who I was before and I know I can't. I was steadily declining and I can't pretend to be what I'm not anymore!! Every day is hard

I could have written this. For all these years, I put on a strong front that I was okay in the midst of my symptoms, even though I was falling apart most of the time on the inside. I was always the leader, always the strong shoulder for others, always the peacemaker, the one everyone comes to with their problems. All the while weaving in and out of depressive and hypomanic episodes. It has just gotten to a point where I can't keep up the ruse anymore. I'm 43 and I'm spent. Lol.