Going Crazy!

Ok so I dont know what is going on anymore.
I dont know if its true or just me?
For like the last week or so I keep feeling like my neighbors and stuff are like watching what I do and listening to me to the point that I wont even answer my phone at home anymore because I dont want them listening.
But the last few days I keep getting these really strong weird feelings that someone is trying to get in my house and hurt me. Its had me at times in absolute panic and crying checking my whole house over and over, locking all windows and doors and rechecking them numerous times and even keeping all the lights on at night.

I dont know what the hell is going on anymore but it is scaring the hell out of me. I really feel like im going crazy now!

I dont know what to do?

Call your pdoc in the morning, it sounds like paranoia is settling in. In the meantime try some self soothing techniques like coloring or playing a video game anything to try to distract your mind.

Have you told your doctor?

I understand what you're going through. Paranoia is just awful. Mine is always that there's something watching me, like a negative entity.

I would force myself to pick up the phone and call my doctor.

Many hugs!

I would force myself to pick up the phone and call my doctor.
My psychiatrist is on holidays, I do have his number though but I dont want to bother him for something minor and well I dont know anything about this stuff besides its scaring the hell out of me and I have no idea whats going on anymore.
Is it something that can wait is it urgent enough to call him?

I'm sorry that you're going through this paranoia… it's no fun at all. I don't have enough perspective to give any advice on your pdoc, but I do agree with the above poster that distraction can help. Usually I find something that doesn't bother me and listen to it/do it incessantly.

As you say it is scaring the hell out of you. That is urgent enough to call him.

Paranoia is the worst..ugh. I'm sorry you're going through this. I recently had a lot of it and honestly I still haven't been able to sleep without at least one light on outside my door for about a month

I believe you are experiencing symptoms of our illness.

You are not alone. I am not alone.

Today, I did housework consistently, but that is all. My 'Document Illness Symptoms' journal has these checked so far today: Paranoia, Fear, Guilt, Obsession, Psychic, Radio (music I can't stop playing over and over in my head), repeating (saying words or sentences over and over to myself), anxiety and panic attack. About the only thing not checked is mania, content, rage.

I keep daily track on a graph I make monthly out of notebook paper turned sideways. It helps me to recognize when I am having symptoms. (sometimes they just feel like life).

And for your information - there is no reason for this today. Yesterday was pretty normal, I had meds and sleep - it just happens. I used to try to find a reason for the moods. Somehow reason justifies. But now that I know there are no REAL reasons, it helps me not to be too weird. (weird being, doing magic protection spells outside my house in front of neighbor, writing or attempting to contact family, friends, politicians, dalai lama, pope, president about my obsessive thought about whatever they did or need to do or know. Just doing something strange that at the time seems normal and even necessary, but later I tend to regret. So I try to allow emotion without deciding on reason, and just move through placidly as the storm rages all around.

See Poem: Desiderata.

Hope this helps, you are not alone. And the neighbors probably really care about their own life way more then they are worried about yours.
And FYI- every example of my 'weird' actions I have done. Some of them - many times.