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#1
Jan 28, 2016, 08:36 PM
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5 months ago I had my first manic episode from hell! It nearly wrecked my life! 1 week with little to no sleep, rapid thoughts, thinking I was a mythical creature, thinking I had special powers, high energy, high sex drive, feeling high, feeling superior, driving erectly, paranoid, thinking people were after me, rapid speech, thinking people were possessed, thinking things had special meanings and irritability. I was hospitalized. They thought it was a bipolar episode, though I am not diagnosed. I was on olanzapine for a bit, and then I went off. Will I know if I am having another hypomania and or manic episode? I am in my early 30’s. I always was social and had high energy. I am not sure if this was just bipolar all along. I feel frightened day and night. I cry REALLY HARD all of the time. I am married with two small children. I feel really lost and upset about all of this. I am being followed by a psychologist. The thought of having bipolar is heartbreaking. I feel like my life is wrecked. It feels like I am living in a nightmare. My life was so good before all of this, now I just feel helpless and scared. Any and all insight would be helpful. Thank you.
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 Anonymous37930, Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, BlueInanna, TishaBuv
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#2
Jan 29, 2016, 07:26 AM
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Have you seen a psychiatrist? Are you on any medications right now?
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#3
Jan 29, 2016, 08:32 AM
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As others on this forum will tell you, the diagnosis is just a label, it's not who you are. Many on here have learned how to cope with BP symptoms and live happy, successful lives. Don't feel like your life is over just because you've learned that you may have BP.
Mania can be really terrifying and hospitalization is never fun. Do you see a therapist or take medication for your symptoms, or are you currently unmedicated?
__________________
--Keegan BP1 Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery) 900mg Lithium 15mg Temazepam PRN "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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 Imah
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#4
Jan 29, 2016, 10:10 AM
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#5
Jan 29, 2016, 10:12 AM
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#6
Jan 29, 2016, 06:03 PM
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I would think that if you had a manic episode that you should be on meds.
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| Imah, scatterbrained04
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#7
Jan 29, 2016, 08:11 PM
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#8
Jan 30, 2016, 01:26 AM
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It's horrible I'm really sorry you went through that. I'm worried you could be in bipolar depression now. Really tough even with meds but meds may help, probably not immediately though. Can you get in with doctor? A therapist to talk to?
It's been a process for me accepting the diagnosis. Sometimes I still grieve it as a loss and other times it's like ok this is just how my brain works, part of my path. It's cyclical you're going to feel so much better when you get through this time. 
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#9
Jan 30, 2016, 02:36 AM
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Welcome to the disorder!
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#10
Jan 30, 2016, 01:38 PM
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If your concerned about knowing if and when you might be in an "episode" consider asking your wife to act as a barometer . She knows you well and is most likely in the best position to tell you if your " off the rails " so to speak . Take heart and know you are not alone and find folks you trust and can support you at all times . be a friend to yourself and begin to accept that some of what happens to us is out of our control and just as you are able to feel fear to such a deep degree you will also be able to experience it's counterpoint - trust . Remember your strengths when you feel out of control - give yourself compassion and take comfort in the knowledge you have navigated difficult times before and so you will again until your back on safe shores again .
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#11
Jan 30, 2016, 01:41 PM
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#12
Jan 30, 2016, 06:51 PM
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What a healthy happy looking group we are!!! Love dat bipolar
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
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