woken up by thoughts (duno how to explain)

lately my mind is in constant agony psychologically
it's a kind of feeling like mental pain, making me not know what to do with myself, violent thoughts and urges to hurt, wanting to cry but cant really cry and wanting to bang my head somewhere.
i m getting close to psychosis with voices and stuff

i realise during such period, sleeping is not very deep
there would be times in the middle of my sleep, i get woken up by the mental turmoil and became semi-conscious. i want to cry and bang my head, lasting for a while before drifting off to sleep again
people around me want me hospitalised for my uncontrolled behaviour n self-harm

sorry i cant explain it well because i have no idea how to describe the feeling
do any of you experience simliar situation? how does it feel for you?

I know exactly what you are talking about. Just never ending mental anguish that makes you feel like you need to hurt yourself in order to just function. I want to collapse in tears but I just can't cry.

I have no solution except distraction. I try to watch something funny like my sit coms or a funny movie. That will help for a little while.

yes, it feels that way.
i cant explain to my cp or pdoc what it is since i hv no idea
it's hard when it strikes coz i try to distract myself n focus on doing smth but my mind keeps getting at me and dragging me away into the dark space
i don't interact and only hv violent thought and urges

I can relate. I'm too often just sitting around being tormented by my own thoughts. Head feels pressure, too much noise, I don't even know what I'm thinking, I get really irritable & everything grates on me, I either can't stand people or I use them as an outlet for all the crazy in my head & end up saying horrible things. Like I want my boss (or whoever I feel may be contributing to how I feel) to suffer how I do, I say awful awful things like I want to hurt their children just so they can suffer on my level. I would never do this, I doubt it's even in me, I cry when I imagine an animal suffering. Anyway, I just get into this agitated state where I don't know what to do with myself all the time, Im intensely bored but can't ease the feeling. I pace, I have heard voices in this state & I have really strong urges to hurt myself. I feek like I just repeat the words I want to hurt myself over & over in my head. I don't know why I want to hurt myself or what it will achieve I just want to. The thoughts are intrusive. I've only ever made superficial cuts though.

No one totally gets it when I describe it except my old pdoc. He just calls it dysphoria. Dysphoria can F off!

I can feel you. It sounds like what i am feeling. Though my pdoc never tellls me what things really are even when she knows. I wish i can all stop