Hovering Parents?

Does anyone else have nosey parents? That go through your phone? Audit your internet and phone history though the service provider? Open your safes? Go through your room when you're not home? Always insisting you do things, without asking what you think about it first? (example: "if you want to, you could ____". If i were to reply saying, no, i dont want to, the conversation would become silent and they would hide their irritation. Its like a passive aggressive demand.)

It drives me insane. Really makes me tick.

The majority of what i tell them is "OK", because the majority of what we talk about is them suggesting i do things. OK means "i get what you're saying but don't give a ****".
Example: "If you wanted to, you could go fix your car", "OK", "You really should do it before it's too late", "OK" ... repeat. And when i don't do it, even though it was merely a suggestion, they keep badgering me about it until i snap and say "i don't give a **** leave me alone".

I am 26 now but when I was growing up my parents did that to me and my two sisters. It was humiliating. Once I turned 18 I went to college 6 hours away and never moved back in.

Yeah it has been humiliating before. I went 1,000 miles away for college but like it on this side of the country better so i'm home with them until i can move out which should be soon. If it isn't before i go hypomanic at the end of march i am pretty sure the **** will hit the fan..

I remember once they called my guidance counselor in college to make sure i was on track.

My dad tries to use the fear tactic. He always threatens to kick me out, threatens to audit my computer, ect. And recently we argued and he came at me as if about to fight. Then i put up my guard and he pointed and laughed.

I swear to god. This **** is just boiling inside me. I am in control because i need to be or else they will call the police or something. But dear god let them know that they are playing with fire.

He even defriended me on facebook because he is embarrassed by me. Worried about HIS image that i may effect.

I get the nagging about doing stuff around the house. I think every parent does that to an extent. But looking through your phone is a bit much. I would move out the second I got the money for it. Maybe you can get a job and move out? Get your own phone so they can't snoop? I understand it's easier said than done. If it wasn't for an inheritance I'd be at home dealing with my dads **** right now. Whenever we talk on the phone he nags nags nags. When I was a teen he would get drunk and turn my room upside down looking for whatever he could to get me in trouble. A few times he did come at me with hands stretched toward my neck. I moved out the second I turned 18. My older brother lives at home with him after going through a divorce so now he gets yelled at around the clock. I live a mile away but rarely go over there.

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Yeah, am saving up to move out. Have a job. Just anxious/excited to do so before going hypo. They always think im on drugs when im not, don't understand my moods if it isnt logical, nag me about things i dont give a **** about - i feel like i am in a business meeting with them. Work is less stressful than being at home.

I can always hear them talking about me from my room, too. And when i am in the same room and they talk about others, it is always negative. Everything is always negative. The make huge assumptions together and reinforce each others deluded, worst-case-senario theories. Truely toxic. I think it adds to my anger with failure.

yes not as bad as when i was a kid, but my moms a stressor big time, get away from it if you can

Can you pick up a 2nd job part time maybe ??? Would decrease the time your at home while also helping you gain money to move out.

It's always hard be an adult and your parents still treating you as a child..

So best to scramble and get your own phone and plan through whomever you choose, they wont be able to snoop on it. Passcode protect your phone and computer. How are they getting into your safe?

I personally would bust my backside and focus on moving out .

Good luck

My parents don't nag that much, but feeling like I'm locked in a prison cell from 9pm to 6am every night gets a bit old. And the constant questions whenever I go somewhere really bug me.

My mother was always very intrusive no boundaries.I remember my dad had a locked closet with personal stuff in it but it was just like his art work (he's private like me and he also had a thing about lockng doors from pretty bad stuff happening to him as a kid) and it drove her crazy. They divorced can't imagine why lol
Had to move back in due to circumstances and it was with two children this time. What I learned...,people this intrusive do not change. Now I want a lock on my bedroom door but wasn't allowed (!?)
Its been a nightmare so I'm working on getting out
So basically my advice get out now and make sure you never have to go back

Christina - just starting a full time job today actually, so I'll be working 40 hours a week. The reason why I didn't save prior, was because I impulsively spent it all and landed myself inpatient for two weeks. But I should be out in a month.

Separate phone is a great idea. And lol they got in my safe because they had a second key.. Should have figured that. They gave it to me in elementary school too.

Jacky - yeah I stay in my room a lot too. But I'm an introvert I think and I like video games and such so it's nothing personal againts them. They love me but I'm not as neurotic and anxiety stricken so I prefer different ways of communication. And we don't have any locks on any doors in the house.. Except the main doors you know

When I was in high school, I was very, very unwell. My mom went through my stuff...everything I had, and destroyed letters and journal entries. It was humiliating as I believed I was a lesbian at the time and didn't want my parents to know. Also, I was so unwell that there were things written in my own blood and prayers to demons. It was awful. She would also pick up the phone and listen to calls. She would screen my calls also to make sure I wasn't talking on the phone with any girl I had a relationship with at the time. I got away with little. I HATED it and her (I thought) at the time. Later, as I got older and better, I appreciated it. She was trying to save my life literally and she was also trying to manipulate my sexuality (which she did only because she had never seen anything in me that would have made her think I was gay). That sounds controlling but, especially, I owe my life, in great part, to her and my dad. I would do the same for my child if I believed they were suicidal.