Accepting

I have just been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I just started my new meds Monday. I have started taking a mood stabilizer & anti anxiety med & my psych doc has lowered my Effexor from 75 mg to 37.5 mg. it's been a tough week for me. Ever since I was diagnosed I have been having a hard time accepting that I'm bipolar. I don't want to feel this way!! I hate being this way!! I hate having these mood swings!! My anxiety has been horrible here lately! I had horrible panick attacks all through the day Wednesday. I just hate how manicy I can be!! How do I accept this? I just want to stop hating myself & start feeling better.

Just know that bipolar is not who you are its,a,part of you. You will adjust. I was,diagnosed quite a,few years ago and did not believe it at all at first until i began to research. So research what you can. Also begin to find your triggers my main ones,are,stress and travelling. Hope this helps. Hugs

Crystal Ball

Ironically, being told I was bipolar type II with psychotic features instead of having schizoaffective disorder made me leap out of my chair with joy. I would take bipolar over a form of schizophrenia any day. But really, I understand completely how you feel, because I struggled with that when I was diagnosed as schiz. I couldn't grapple with it. I wanted to be dead. It was awful. One thing that brought me some peace was watching A Beautiful Mind. After that, instead of mentally insulting myself over my mental illness, I would just say, "I have a beautiful mind."

Bipolar doesn't limit you from anything. You can live a fairly normal life once your medication gets your symptoms under control. Therapy helps too. Its something you work at, but trust me, it does get better. And this diagnosis isn't the end, or who you are.

Did you hate yourself before this diagnosis?

The diagnosis of bipolar disorder is a hard pill to swallow (ha!). To me it happens in stages. Denial, research, recollections of previous behavior, acceptance, and medcation management/relapse prevention. It will be OK and you have a wonderful community here to support you and answer any questions you may have.

Thank you all so much for your support!! Yes trying to move forward I have hated myself before my diagnosis. It just sucks because I just want one day where I can be normal & no mood swings. I'm going to work on accepting this with my therapist. Just sucks. I'm hoping my new meds will help. I'm trying to stay as positive as I can but my depression kicks in & I'll get really down.

Therapy helps me a lot.

Yes definitely do a lot of research. Educate yourself so you can know what to expect, and different ways to cope. BP isn't a death sentence but it is absolutely a life changer. For me at least. At my time of diagnosis I was so out of control and a horrible kid that I was just relieved to be able to put a name to it. However my family refused to listen to those "quacks" and "pill pushers" so I was left on my own. I fell many times. Quit my meds, drank myself half to death, [trigger] multiple suicide attempts and inpatient stays. But i learned from my mistakes and today I don't touch alcohol (although I'm not completely sober all the time) and I'm on a good cocktail of meds. Lately I've been dealing with extreme stress but you learn coping skills and how to handle things. Hell, I just spent over 6 hrs crying my eyes out but it's better than harming myself. Taking a mood stabilizer is a great start. Mine saved me! You may need a antipsychotic in the mix down the line but we'll handle that when you get there. One day at a time. Remember to breathe. Get plenty of sleep!!!!!! Exhaustion can totally throw me into a mixed dysphoric state very quickly. You'll learn what's best for you as you learn more about the Illness. Keep your appointments with your psych team and speak up if you're not feeling right. They're there to help you. ((Big hugs)) it's going to be okay!

Feel free to PM me (if you use the tapatalk app) if you ever have any questions!

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

I'm concerned about where TryingToMoveForward (in this thread) is.