[optimistic_dolphin]

I just had my doctor apt. Last week I was considering IP but I have a trip next Monday for 6 days, so it's impossible to be discharge in 2 weeks. For me at least.

Today it's another apt. I said I was better, overall. I have valid reasons. But the thing is I give the good points and skip the bad points. Psychosis is evolving for me, so the content, frequency and state change. I was actually doing better the past few days, but since yesterday it is worse. I am once again getting anger episodes. They are more intense, so I ended up with bruises from last night. My pdoc believed I am slightly better so she wants me to work on my eating issue. Also, she increase 50mg of seroquel and another 100mg of epilim. I won't see her until the week after next.

It's like I was focusing on acting fine for the apt that when it's over now, my mind reverts back to psychosis and other issues. Have you guys ever experience this? Or lie/pretend during pdoc apt to get out of smth?

[Altered Moment]

I have done it many many times. For some reason I minimize things that are bad. I will make sure I am showered and shaved and dressed good for the appointment when I haven't showered in over a week. He will say "your looking really good" when I am not good. Then I can't really remember how I was a week or so ago or I forget what I really wanted to say. It ends up with the Pdoc getting a false impression of how things are. Sometimes we might have a good reason to lie but they can't help us unless they know the truth.

The way I solved this was to keep a daily mood log. At the end of each day I type out how the day was, what was my mood, what did I do, etc. etc.

Then on the day of the appointment I print it, bring it in and let him read it. The log doesn't lie. He gets the true picture this way and it keeps my records much more accurate.

[optimistic_dolphin]

Originally Posted by Altered Moment

I have done it many many times. For some reason I minimize things that are bad. I will make sure I am showered and shaved and dressed good for the appointment when I haven't showered in over a week. He will say "your looking really good" when I am not good. Then I can't really remember how I was a week or so ago or I forget what I really wanted to say. It ends up with the Pdoc getting a false impression of how things are. Sometimes we might have a good reason to lie but they can't help us unless they know the truth.

The way I solved this was to keep a daily mood log. At the end of each day I type out how the day was, what was my mood, what did I do, etc. etc.

Then on the day of the appointment I print it, bring it in and let him read it. The log doesn't lie. He gets the true picture this way and it keeps my records much more accurate.

I am motivated to lie and hide the truth this time because of the trip. Usually I give my pdoc journal which I keep record of my thoughts and things. Or drawing I made. This week strangely I didn't write much or draw so I didn't give her. I am scared she will make me go inpatient.

In some way I am glad I got past her. But in some way I do know I am only postponing IP and dragging it out. There is a chance I will slip again, worse this time, within these two weeks. Since yesterday I am getting more anger and self-harm issues, which has subsided for the earlier few days

[Altered Moment]

If the trip is very important to you and may be healthy for you I don't see a big issue unless you are in danger to yourself or others. That is always a call we have to make ourselves because no one can force us to be honest.

[Victoria'smom]

I get so frustrated that my natural state is to hide how unwell, I'm doing. like I'm going them a favor. I know you're trying to stay out of IP and that's why but do a daily journal and hand it to pdoc next time.

[Ocean Swimmer]

When you return from the trip, be honest with your Pdoc. If you don't need to go ip, tell her that too.

It's easier for the doc to make med changes when we're honest.