This should be interesting!

For those of you who know me/follow my posts know how at minim my pdoc. is careless and, dare I say, stupid and at maximum is exhibiting malpractice. My mom is going to file a complaint about him when I finally find a new doc. So anyway, there is no way around confronting him about some of these things (although I am overly nice and I find rather difficult most times).

Awkward, awkward, awkward!

Well at least he doesn't open his pants like mine used too.
Here's hoping you get better care. I don't know if reporting him is a time waster. It's hard to be on the other side of a Dr.

I reported a dr to my state medical board years ago. He told me that I couldn't have a certain antibiotic with my meds at the time but when the antibiotic he prescribed instead didn't work he prescribed the one he said was unsafe. Repeated 3 times. I already was uncomfortable with him because he treated me like I was stupid b/c of the bipolar and he pretty much told me I was lying when I said I wasn't a nursing aide. I also had a herpes virus breakout on my mouth that was really deep and severe and he refused to treat it, even though I have had trouble fighting off herpes viruses in the past (I reached in a mouth of someone who was choking and caught herpes on my thumb which seems to have made me more sensitive). My pdoc finally wrote the order for the herpes treatment I needed.

But anyway, the medical board had me sign some forms and then they investigated him. It took about a year and he was found ok but at least it put some pressure on him.

I don't think that your mom will be allowed to file a complaint about you though. I think when you are an adult you have to do it yourself. But I 100% think you need to do it, both to protect others from his "care" and to help you recover from it.

I would definitely confront him directly. Tell it like it is. He has been doing some whacked out stuff for a while now
Good luck cashhhhh

Sounds a lot like my pdoc, and I can relate to being too nice and not wanting to confront him. Maybe someday, but I'll probably always be too nice, ha.
Anyway, good luck, and I hope you can find a much better doc soon!

So...my version of confronting him was saying "it took a while to get me a working antidepressant, huh?" He just wrote off the question by telling me he has confidence in this one.

On the other hand...tell me what you think of this conversation:

Pdoc: any thoughts about hurting yourself?

Me: Persistently

Pdoc: are they under control?

Me: yes...and I finally got my husband to hide my meds...of course there are other means but that takes away the easiest (I have 7 medications).

Pdoc: (giggles) yes, there are lots of ways people kill themselves and if they want to die they will.

Me: (giggle nervously) this is an awkward conversation.

Pdoc: yeah, well, people who od do so as a cry for help. They don't really want to die. The problem is sometimes they do die or they can turn into a vegetable.

The rest of the conversation was about Virginia Woolf and how she took her own life in her 40's. I told him I can't live that long like this. He said I am not like Woolf as I have children who need me and grandkids to look forward to. Anyway, the conversation ended on an okay note but it certainly started out pretty oddly. Anyone else have an experience like this?

I may do it then. I have texts to him (he rarely texts back, just calls) where I was clearly in distress, one practically telling him I should be hospitalized and he all but ignored that part if the conversation. That made me feel badly.

You should. I think when you finally get away from him you are going to do so much better. And you have plenty of things you've written on here and you can also print out as evidence. If he is mis-treating you he is doing it others and they may not be as able as you are too see what he is doing.

That conversation alone is pretty irresponsible. If I told my pdoc that I wasn't safe with my meds and had taken steps to protect me she'd be worried and would make me do a safety plan. If I said I was aware I could access other means she would have asked what those are and assessed if I was in danger from them. But never, ever, would she laugh it off. Nor should anyone treating patients; we are taught (and some people apparently forget) that it is always better to be safer than sorry with suicidal thoughts. I remember being so angry once at work because my patient was suicidal with a plan and the nursing home's response was that he couldn't hurt himself there. First, yes he could and 2nd he certainly could when he got home. But the other hundred times I had a suicidal patient it was taken very seriously and should have been. Gesture or not it is dangerous and unpredictable who will do what. I've worked with brain injured patients who had their injuries because of failed suicides using all kinds of techniques.

I cn't imagine a dr like yours. I had a bad one or two but never that bad.

I think it must be a fine line for a Dr. - to understand how hospitalization can help / but also could harm. They could just respond black or white - and put you in a hospital. Perhaps he thinks he has deeper insight into you then you yourself do. It almost seems like you would consider doing it just to prove him wrong... You want to take yourself seriously, so you want him to take you seriously, but in not responding, he in a way, is building you up to stand up to your weaker self. I think you need to start being more honest with him about considering seeing someone else because you are not as sure as he is that you are safe.

In a way you seem like (no offense, I know your a wife, mother, etc) but in a way you seem like you want to be like a child, and have the Dr take over your decision making- I think he may actually be doing a very good job making you face yourself.

You have proven time and again that you are strong enough to overcome those darker days. I think he knows that. And you have real life motivations to get over it. Perhaps it is you who are not crediting your strength well enough.

I do apologize that I don't have much knowledge about your background but from this post in particular, I would be alarmed. Where I go, and have been going to for 12 years, they have very strict rules about things like this. If you show ANY sign that you are a harm to yourself or others they will practically tackle your *** until an ambulance gets there! Well maybe I'm being dramatic but they don't mess around. Maybe it's a law in my whole state. But I've always been aware of this after a t warned me and would have me show her my arms (yea no explanation needed there). However because I've always had knowledge of this I have kept stuff from them. Who doesn't once in awhile though. But yea, your dr should of taken you seriously! You clearly have a plan in your head, thinking up the diff ways ect. Alarm bells! I've had a few drs that either prescribed me something that I knew I should not be messing with and I didn't speak up though. Long story short... I abused my meds and have a long, charted history of substance abuse. He gave me a certain something that is rather hard to get! And the addict in me went off the deep end. And then the pdoc ended up leaving and they've just been keeping me on the same meds without a question. I admit I have to take blame here because at the end of the day, I should of been honest with him and with myself. But a tiny piece of me blames him for not even bothering to maybe just glance at my older files? Actually just 6 months old. This is a med that is tightly controlled (In MI at least) and any doc has to get paper work and a detailed history before handing out this med. So imagine my surprise when he brought it up out of nowhere with no questions at all. And I don't even have the main symptom this med is specifically for! Wow. Carelessness on his part... And mine.

Sorry I'm a mess and rambling tonight! Bottom line, yes he should of confronted you about your thoughts. Took you way more seriously. But since he didn't all I hope is that you're not still feeling this way now? I just talked another member (along with help from some of you) into going to IP today. I'm glad I'm here to help and just know that even though we don't know each other, I DO worry about people here. If you just need to blow off steam, anything. Don't hesitate to PM me.

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That's what malpractice insurance is for! LOL