[Ocean Swimmer]

I was super young when I got my own car and apt.
It didn't take me long to earn lots of money. I was going with 4-5 guys at a time. Not having intercourse with them all though.

I had lots of abuse. That may have led to the decisions I've made.

I loved attention. Still do. Part of bp I think. Just like being super smart. I was smarter than all of my non bp friends. I hadn't met any men smarter than me.

I like being # 1 at lots of things.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I don't want to separate the sexes. But I was the first grandchild. They wanted a boy. So they dressed me in Cowboy suits. Dr suits ( not nurses. )
I could read before kindergarten.
So I never learned about the glass ceiling or discrimination against women.

[~Christina]

Personally I don't think there is anything gender related the way your stating your ambitions and life thus far. You are a driven person and that is fine.. Not just a male thing or a bipolar thing or a combo.

imho

[Ocean Swimmer]

You're right Christina.
But you are very evolved.
Not all people have an enlightened attitude.
Love ya! Maxy

[Icare dixit]

I agree that one's sex/gender should never be allowed to predetermine you in any way.

That said, going with the stereotypes, I totally believe that BP men have a bit more feminine qualities than found in men in general and BP women a bit more masculine qualities.

So men really-talk more (differently: more caring and accepting; including emotions) and women are more goal-directed and less risk-avoidant.

Sounds perfect, really. Then how could we possibly feel so guilty sometimes!?

Maybe because sometimes the former, sometimes the latter goes completely out of the window? Probably.

So never just show you manic side: all of you is beautiful!

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Do you realize that stating you haven't met any men smarter than you, makes you look less intelligent?

[Ocean Swimmer]

Guess I hang around with dumb guys! Ha ha

[Moogieotter]

Hey Ocean,

Your cool. I enjoy your stories.

This is an interesting observation about yourself. I do agree with ~C that I don't see much of it being a gender thing rather than just drive - probably a little hypo on the healthy side.

Where are you now and where would you like to be?

Thanks,

moogs

I have thoughts like this constantly. Not revolving around intelligence or money really, I don't think that's gentrified, just personality. but I have done a lot of research on genderqueer orientations and it makes a lot of sense to me. For me personally, I just never grew out of a tomboy "phase" and have never felt comfortable seeing myself as a woman. I have a lot of vulnerability issues which is frustrating because I'm otherwise a sensitive person and I like to talk to people about their personal issues, it makes me feel more useful. This could be completely off topic and not how men feel at all, but it's something I keep returning to a lot which I originally thought of in an episode and dismissed it for awhile as just overthinking or loose associations but I can't seem to shake it. I saw another forum on reddit where they were considering a link between this and BPD and the switching of hemispheres and such and thought maybe it had a link to gender fluidity. I don't know how legit that is but I thought it was interesting

I thought BPD meant bipolar! AGH

[Ocean Swimmer]

Hi Moog.
I'm depressed, and afraid of Effexor.
I'm going to look around for a new Pdoc in May.
Right now I'm searching online for prosthesis at a charity hospital for my caretakers brother in law. He had a motorcycle accident. My guy sold one of his cows to help with the medical bills.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Haha, fair enough.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Hi Bunk Sun. Did you know lots of people with bipolar also suffer
Borderline personality disorder.