[SillyMom]

I hate myself. I'm ugly. I am not a girly girl and just can't pull it off even if I try. I'm so tired of living. Just. So. Tired.

35, BP
married 3 kids (17,14, 2)

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by SillyMom

I hate myself. I'm ugly. I am not a girly girl and just can't pull it off even if I try. I'm so tired of living. Just. So. Tired.

35, BP
married 3 kids (17,14, 2)

I'm not either. It's something I struggle with too. I pretty much only wear tshirts, tennis shoes, jeans. No jewelery, skirts, dresses etc...
I just can't get into it. But I'm sure you are not ugly! We can do this!

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by SillyMom

I hate myself. I'm ugly. I am not a girly girl and just can't pull it off even if I try. I'm so tired of living. Just. So. Tired.

35, BP
married 3 kids (17,14, 2)

Don't care about that! Learn to live for yourself more and people you love, your children, your husband. Don't listen to what people say out of frustration, if you do that: most of it is rubbish.

If you are that very tired, maybe tell your husband to support you and do more if he can. Don't feel guilty for taking some rest, to be depressed, give in somewhat more. It will lift, sooner if you are gentle with it.



Edit:
And If we are depressed, we are always ugly, to ourselves, we may convince others even, I'm sure: definitely in my case. That subliminal appearance, very good when manic, very bad when depressed is what matters and the appearance to keep up. Nothing else. Be yourself.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by SillyMom

I hate myself. I'm ugly. I am not a girly girl and just can't pull it off even if I try. I'm so tired of living. Just. So. Tired.

35, BP
married 3 kids (17,14, 2)

Your children love you and need you.
I am sure your husband does too.
They want to see you happy.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Seeme10]

I'm tired. So tired. If I let myself feel. I cry. I am so self absorbed. My problems are no tin in the great scheme of things

[Hopeful Camel]

Haven't been on here in a long while. Very sad today, the painful bipolar depression that just shuts you down and washes you over with waves of mental and physical pain.

At times like these, this is the only place I feel like I can come and be accepted. Thank you for that. It means the world to me right now.

[SillyMom]

Originally Posted by Hopeful Camel

Haven't been on here in a long while. Very sad today, the painful bipolar depression that just shuts you down and washes you over with waves of mental and physical pain.

At times like these, this is the only place I feel like I can come and be accepted. Thank you for that. It means the world to me right now.

New to all this ....but huge hugs. I know that won't help...but I understand.

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[lilypup]

Decent day today. Didn't sleep well and woke with a headache. But got my courage up and got dressed and went to church. Was not scared to ride in the car. Did not cry during the service. Came home and planned menu and grocery list for the three days a week I cook. Getting ready to watch a baseball game on TV>

This week looks really busy. I am going to take it one hour or so at a time.

[hopeless2015]

It's been an OK weekend bit now the gloom of facing work tomorrow is setting in...I go through this every Sunday!

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[gina_re]

It's amazing what natural light can do. I slept half of the day away in my room with my drapes closed. I woke up starving and made myself sit out in the living room to eat and watch tv; where my blinds are always open and light floods the place. I started feeling better instantly. But the anxiety remains and I still do not trust anyone. At least I'm not depressed and I am somewhat functional.

I spent the morning and most of the afternoon sleeping or drowsing and procrastinating about some chores. I had almost given up on them when i got a boost from reading about self-acceptance. It really turned me on and i walked my dog [i'd taken her to the dog park twice earlier], did one load of laundry, mopped and showered. I'm really pleased with myself tho sorry that i'm starting my day so late.

[gina_re]

I think I've screwed up my sleep by taking that vistaril yesterday. I'm nowhere near tired and I'm usually knocked out by now

[SillyMom]

Originally Posted by gina_re

It's amazing what natural light can do. I slept half of the day away in my room with my drapes closed. I woke up starving and made myself sit out in the living room to eat and watch tv; where my blinds are always open and light floods the place. I started feeling better instantly. But the anxiety remains and I still do not trust anyone. At least I'm not depressed and I am somewhat functional.

My living room is the same. I almost hate weekendso because my husband prefers to lay in bed all day but it puts me in the worst mood. I always have to do SOMETHING. I get so depressed and irritable if it's dark and I'm just laying around

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[SillyMom]

I just finished the most exhausting workout. Now I'm chomping on broccoli and carrots. Amazing how that switch can flip at the drop of a hat and I feel fine.
Except my muscles. Those are screaming

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[Pikku Myy]

I can't sleep. This is not good.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by SillyMom

I just finished the most exhausting workout. Now I'm chomping on broccoli and carrots. Amazing how that switch can flip at the drop of a hat and I feel fine.
Except my muscles. Those are screaming

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sounds like you are doing well!
happy for you!
bizi

[SillyMom]

Originally Posted by bizi

sounds like you are doing well!
happy for you!
bizi

Doing better this morning, yes. But still that nagging feeling that I won't ever be normal again. Anyone else have that?

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Originally Posted by SillyMom

Doing better this morning, yes. But still that nagging feeling that I won't ever be normal again. Anyone else have that?

Yes, this is often thought of. Sigh, will I ever have anything that even approaches the life I used to lead?

[gina_re]

I shouldn't have had an energy drink this morning. I'm now so jittery. But I didn't sleep last night so I figured this will help.

For the first time in a long while, I actually feel good.

My mood has been all over the place with episodes of depression and dysphoric mania occurring roughly every 6 weeks. I think this Lamictal is actually helping to cut down on the rapid cycling. It's been 6 weeks and no episode.

[Coconutzo]

I had a doctors appointment first thing this morning. I feel furiously frustrated. I don't know why I keep running into this hopeless cavern. He added an antipsychotic. THEY ALWAYS ADD AND ANTIPSYCHOTIC! coconutzo=cocodefeatzo
Cocomccrazypants
Coconotjustcreativeandeccentricbutactuallyneedshelpsandpotionsandpillzo

Back to the gym. This will keep me from melting down and smashing everything I own.

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[hopeless2015]

MIL passed this weekend, home with the husband today

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putting everything off.

quite content to just sit here and drink cola

[lilypup]

Sorry to hear, hopeless.

I am feeling really good. Got up and took a shower. Did some sewing on a quilt. Made reservations at a nice resort for our 30th anniversary. Wrote an Amazon review for a friend's book. Will drive alone (hopefully) to a women's support group this afternoon.

I am feeling REALLY good. Doesn't it suck that you wonder if you are going into hypo-mania or if you just feel "normal"?

[Hopeful Camel]

Doing much better than I was doing yesterday. I sometimes wonder if I really have bipolar, or if I am just an insufferable drama queen. I've got a horrible pain in my back. Came home early, to work from bed and take some pain pills. My nitpicky boss allowed me to do this, so that is good.

Why do days change the way they do?