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#251
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Spent 3 hours at the children's museum today...it's peanut butter and jelly for dinner lol!
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#252
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Made it through another week of work successfully, eight in a row now!!! Best in over a year. I've noticed a really nice improvement to mood stability and overall functioning since upping lamictal 2 weeks ago. I had some shaky weeks before that. I'm at 250 now. Doc says 300 at visit 2 weeks ago, but I like to titrate slowly and see response. I want the smallest effective dose.
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![]() Pikku Myy
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#253
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My anxiety has been through the roof these past couple of days. I found some vistaril and took one to get through the rest of the day. Luckily, this is situational and I'm not panicking and running to my pdoc. I have an appointment with my T on Thursday, so I requested the whole day off. Based on what's going on lately, and what we are supposed to talk about, I don't think I'll be able to go back to work for the rest of the day.
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![]() bizi, Nammu, Pikku Myy
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#254
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Moving tools, material and furniture alone all day for seven days straight now; hypo from stress under medication; weight at all-time high; business is good; had visual hallucinations today of someone in the room beside me. Made my boss cry. Talking with my brother for the first time in 3 years. My brain is ignoring both Valium and Ambien. Played "The Morning Papers" around 20 times the day Prince died.
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#255
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^ I am sorry. Try to take naps if you can.
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![]() Anonymous37971
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#256
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Why is age more than a number when it comes 2 love?
Should we ask the ones who speculate When they don't know what it's made of? Should we ask the moonlight on your face Or the raindrops in your hair Or should we ask the man who wrote it there in the morning papers? |
#257
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Having a very bad day. I feel like the ugliest person in the world, I hate myself so much. I'm just disgusting. I can't keep up with my kids anymore and I just want to curl in a corner and go to sleep
Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re
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#258
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I saw my therapist on Tuesday and have been feeling a decent amount better since then. She said I need to go see her more frequently though, so I'm going to try and arrange that around my work schedule.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() Nammu
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![]() SillyMom
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#259
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Quote:
visual helusinations are horrible! i remember 1 time i was convinced a girl was behind me, only about 4 or 5 and she'd been burnt by a fire. (fire is a consistent thing with me, little bit of a trigger) anyway it developed in to the mom standing next to her and trying to reasure her... so scary. i wrote 4 things in my journal today. (just feel in a writing mood). 3 creative type things (or in my case, not really creative, but it's their) and the rest updates. feeling good too, as i just got this new cd by Fatima Al Qadiri and i'm loving it. |
#260
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Sweet baby Jesus! Praise everyone!
I am a person again! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#261
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Seven of those little day-glo Costco diphenhydramine tablets at 2045 with the rest of my meds allowed me to sleep like a vampire for 10 hours; now I am ready once again to hit like a Sukhoi.
![]() Seeing the T at noon for the first time in months today. I'm bringing him a gift to compensate for a missed appointment last year. Thanks to professional wrestler "Triple V" for her support. Last edited by Anonymous37971; Apr 23, 2016 at 01:37 PM. |
#262
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Went with husband to do a side job...yikes lol
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
#263
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Planted more flowers..this is beginning to be my therapy!
Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
![]() Coconutzo
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#264
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Why is it so easy to feel like you're on top of the world to feeling like a piece of crap...
I need to get out of my own head. He's not worth it.. |
![]() Anonymous45023
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![]() SillyMom
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#265
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Irritbility and restlessness are on the rise
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#266
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Here too. Kind of flipped out yesterday. Seem to be on an upswing, but not a fun one.
![]() I hate agitation. |
![]() Takeshi
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#267
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I actually did a lot today. I felt good. Cleaned up and left the house too. But I'm still so irritated...with everyone. I feel so rejected and so alone. I know I easily push people away, but then I feel like this and wonder where they are...
I just want to crawl into a hole until this is all over with. What's the point. I swear if it wasn't for my nephews I would be gone. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu
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#268
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Hard to focus and concentrate. Thinking more and more it's the meds, probably the sleeping meds or the AP.....do I want to give up sleep and stability for focus and loosing weight. Why does the good stuff have to be brought at such high costs? See the new pdoc on Wednesday, need to decide what to say then.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re, Takeshi
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#269
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I stopped harrassing myself about my weight. I am still smart, kind and funny even if i am fat. Everyone has to have one vice. It keeps you humble.
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![]() gina_re, Icare dixit
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#270
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Quote:
Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
![]() gina_re
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#271
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Quote:
bizi |
![]() Nammu
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#272
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I'm up at 2a.m. WTF? I thought this part of life was over with..
Get out of my head! |
![]() Anonymous45023, Icare dixit, Nammu
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#273
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Up all night. Feel terrible.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Takeshi
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#274
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No hallucinations today.
While I was at my T's for a morning appointment, my 65-year-old friend of ten years and strategic business partner walked, unannounced, unexpected and uninvited, into our house and started opening boxes, scared the living bajeebus out of my 72-year-old mother-in-law. She doesn't speak English and doesn't particularly like him and barely suppressed an instinct to hack at him with a sharp steel tomahawk kept behind a bookshelf for her engagement with intruders. She's worked all her life with her hands on her feet, so she is still sturdy and extremely strong. She would have cleaved him in twain. My friend called my wife while she was doing business at a different venue and asked her why I was holding certain pieces. My wife was tremendously insulted (she is almost always short of f_cks to give) and was worried that I would go megaton in indignant rage, but I took a flood dose of Valium and accepted the unprecedented freaky invasive behavior as a sure sign that things were sliding sideways. His mom had Alzheimer's. A longtime local and international business partner is going under. Mortal vulnerabilities of two strategic partners have precipitated the family conglomerate's Code Yellow ('Preparation for Mobilization', or State Bert). Sh_t just got real. ![]() I repeat, we are at Bert. Fill the gas tanks, arrange the rain catchments and sharpen the sharp things. In the words of Metalocalypse: " Shook off that crap and worked the rest of the day cleaning and moving things around, lifting like a Sikorsky and hitting like a MiG. ![]() My carpal tunnel, knees and back are killing me. Every day is a meditation in pain. Last edited by Anonymous37971; Apr 24, 2016 at 02:14 AM. |
![]() Anonymous45023
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#275
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3am wake up call.
Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
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