Depression is worsening ever since I messed with my meds

Work is very non productive right now. Concentration is awful

Today is going to be a long, long day. I'm stuck in slow motion

[hopeless2015]

Only a 1/2 hour late to work today which I can make up at lunch. Hoping to be productive, I've had a hard time staying focused this week

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i am mostly feeling ashamed today.

last night i ordered 2 large pizzas in sted of 1, and ate both of then in under 30 minits.. eating right never gets easier

enjoying my new book- i'm reading the perfect murder by peter james, hope to finish it all tonight

mood is okay today though could be a little cooler. we did get a little splash of rain but i so want more

[Prism Bunny]

I slept well, ate well, but I still somewhat depressed but I think it will eventually subside once my medication works to the fullest extent (which takes weeks, apparently).

Bluebicycle, if I may ask, why did you mess with your meds?

Originally Posted by Prism Bunny

Bluebicycle, if I may ask, why did you mess with your meds?

I was stupid and didn't believe my diagnosis... but then I became depressed when I reduced my mood stabilizer and stopped taking Latuda.

Lesson learned!

[Prism Bunny]

Do you plan to see your psychiatrist soon, then? Though I understand how you would feel about your diagnosis.

Yeah, I'm seeing him on Tuesday.

But, I think I believe the diagnosis now... because it's obvious that antipsychotics help a lot with my depression. In most normal people, I don't think antipsychotics help with depression. Couple that with the fact my pdoc said I became manic off Lexapro.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I'm so ****ing frustrated by every single damn thing. Every noise, every person, everything is pissing me the **** off. I'm done and I'm way too dysphoric for my liking. I hate this ****. I have it all, like I literally have it all... And my mind just refuses to work right. **** this.

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Went back on abilify yesterday because mood was too obviously heading in a bad direction. Still hurting and still sick. Have a PDOC appt tomorrow which I will cancel if I'm still sick because I just restarted the meds and there is not much to talk about.

[Manic Trance]

Just read how I said I was going yesterday! Ha! Amazing! I do remember feeling that way. Today I am definitely hypo. Really elated and up! Having that electric vibe, suuuuper effusive and fun and wild and like a lil unhinged?! You know the vibe? It's so fun, I feel like GREAT! But I lay down in bed earlier and I was like, then comes speed, then confusion and irritability, paranoia, anger frustration, and then dark moods, and then the stillness and depression. I guess it's good to know you are on a cycle. I thought today it is good to know your are hypomanic, like if you can learn to take your own hypomanic antics with a grain of salt, maybe that is a way of changing your life. Anyhow...
I'm ****ing elated today!

Soon...
MT

[Crazy Hitch]

I feel miserable

[Lookn4mylife]

Im kind of new, so if this is a stupid question, I'm sorry. Are we supposed to "check in" once or, is it fine to add to the same thread as many times as you like?

Originally Posted by Lookn4mylife

Im kind of new, so if this is a stupid question, I'm sorry. Are we supposed to "check in" once or, is it fine to add to the same thread as many times as you like?

we can check in as many times as we like, and multiple times a day if we want to (i usually post in here once a day, sometimes twice)

as for me.. i wrote to amazon this morning because something arived for me- a dvd in german. i said to them.. look, you said it was UK region 2- full english copy. it's not my fault that i got it and it's in german and i can't watch it- shame, as i really wanted to see it... ah well, i'll start searching the site for other versions

having a tough time with "them" (the voices)

won't shut up

and bonus.. i had to get rid of 2 flies today and a wasp. yay. (sarcasm, of course!)

Feeling a little better today. I want to drink bad. Like get drunk drink. Last time I had more than 1 drink was a long time. I ended up in the hospital with SI last time I got drunk. I shouldn't drink but it's all I can think about because my period is coming and I crave alcohol when it's coming.

I'm going to take a break from these forums for a while... I need some time to collect my thoughts cos I keep getting suicidal ideations and they're getting worse and worse.

Who knows... I'll probably end up in IP at this rate.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs blue!!
Going OK today, I didn't make it to work in time but I'm productive today. I have court tomorrow and trying to stay calm about it

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Do whatever it takes to stay safe, bluebicycle.
Btw, lots of I think you're super.

*****

I'm having a really hard time getting out of bed lately. It's really gnawing at me.

[Unrigged64072835]

Take care of yourself, Blue.

Ugh, what a wasted day. But I got my meds refilled and I'm getting a haircut.

Despite feeling crappy I got ready and am going out to a nice steak dinner with my husband.

[Icare dixit]

Hopeless but no longer contemplating suicide. It's ridiculous.

But I am really ridiculous, my mind is. I saw my NP losing hope as well.

Maybe it's just a matter of time. I feel like I'm in a (mental) straightjacket.

I'm feel like, or what I imagine to be like, being back from a war zone and having to adjust to civilian life. It wasn't like it was as extreme, but it lasted most of my life.

[Nammu]

Scared shitless.....I just started working again...part time, now they want to put me in charge by July!!!!?,! No!! I don't want the stresses

Doing pretty good. Just started an art group yesterday. It's really cool. I'm making a rain stick. From the native American culture. I got the hard part done. Now I just need to find some cool fabric to put around it. I'm thinking something dark blue with silver lines going down it. After I'm done with mine I'm making my son one. He's half native American and half Caucasian.

Life's been going good, still stable. Might be a little up but it feels good. I've lost more weight since coming off the zyprexa. That feels good. Just got to get moving. Still have pain when I walk from my back injury and now knee problems. But hoping with weight coming off it will get better. Wow! Long check in...

[Prism Bunny]

Restless, nauseous, but I am still mentally calm.

For whoever is struggling. BIG HUGS!

[Atypical_Disaster]

I feel way less wound up today. I've been going crazier so the respite is nice.

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