[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Are you old enough to remember those Boffo the Clown punching bags?
Where you hit them and they sprung back at you.

I know those. Should do a thorough comparison (that's the beauty of a mixed state: if your mood changes quickly enough, buying something in a shop takes too long, for me at least). Anger is the constant, no crazy "needs" for long.

Edit:
I mean, imagine queueing! The wait! Who shall I punch first!?

[Icare dixit]

Still at sea. This is the area forecast for the next 24 hours, issued by the Mad Office. Gales throughout the day. Mood/anxiety. Variable. Occasional showers. Moderate or good, occasionally very poor. Memory. Poor. Energy. Variable. Moderate or good, occasionally poor. Perception. Good, occasionally moderate or poor.

Myself Today:
The biggest problem is memory (being very bad) and "mental preoccupation" (I forgot the name but it's obsessional memory recap, working memory maintenance, intermittent flight of ideas and wariness) which makes it hard to take things in. Reading is difficult.

This shouldn't stay the most functional/productive state to be in, relatively speaking.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

Still at sea. This is the area forecast for the next 24 hours, issued by the Mad Office. Gales throughout the day. Mood/anxiety. Variable. Occasional showers. Moderate or good, occasionally very poor. Memory. Poor. Energy. Variable. Moderate or good, occasionally poor. Perception. Good, occasionally moderate or poor.

Myself Today:
The biggest problem is memory (being very bad) and "mental preoccupation" (I forgot the name but it's obsessional memory recap, working memory maintenance, intermittent flight of ideas and wariness) which makes it hard to take things in. Reading is difficult.

This shouldn't stay the most functional/productive state to be in, relatively speaking.

definitely a mixed mood kind of day.
bizi

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by bizi

definitely a mixed mood kind of day.
bizi

Days. If I go on like this, the messiah has nothing left to do.

Edit:
I feel like a stuffed animal being played with by a child with conduct issues. Think Toy Story 3. It's tiring.

But yes, the forecast was spot on. Again.

[hopeless2015]

Just got home today from mental health facility, didn't send me ip I went there instead, glad to be home, tomorrow it's back to reality, work, life etc

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Something is not right with me. Yesterday I was laughing hysterically as the day began. By evening I was crying in the shower over how much I love my parents and how they deserve a better daughter than me. Then I went to sleep and had a terrible nightmares and woke up around 4am shaking and crying. My husband took a shower with me while I sobbed about my failures and crazy head. He told me not to worry, because my period is coming and this is temporary. He's probably right but I'm feeling very weeping and shaken. Trying to stay busy but my energy level is in the toilet. Whatever this is, I want it to pass soon. I'm so grateful for my family and it hurts to thing about them. They deserve someone who isn't broken.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Something is not right with me. Yesterday I was laughing hysterically as the day began. By evening I was crying in the shower over how much I love my parents and how they deserve a better daughter than me. Then I went to sleep and had a terrible nightmares and woke up around 4am shaking and crying. My husband took a shower with me while I sobbed about my failures and crazy head. He told me not to worry, because my period is coming and this is temporary. He's probably right but I'm feeling very weeping and shaken. Trying to stay busy but my energy level is in the toilet. Whatever this is, I want it to pass soon. I'm so grateful for my family and it hurts to thing about them. They deserve someone who isn't broken.

Hopefully it was just momentary mania with depression following it. I get those sometimes. Hope it's not a mixed state.

You're kind and wise. That's not failing.

You made me cry. Thank you for being sweet.

Something made me giggle. My 16 year old saw me crying and gave me a hugs. He said "what's wrong mom". I replied "it's just my period, be grateful you're not a women". He responded with "don't worry mom, at least you'll never have to worry about hiding an erection in public".

I hope it's ok to write that. My kids are so funny sometimes. Perfect comic relief moment.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

You made me cry. Thank you for being sweet.

Something made me giggle. My 16 year old saw me crying and gave me a hugs. He said "what's wrong mom". I replied "it's just my period, be grateful you're not a women". He responded with "don't worry mom, at least you'll never have to worry about hiding an erection in public".

I hope it's ok to write that. My kids are so funny sometimes. Perfect comic relief moment.

It is funny. Great kid.

Children are new to this world not unlike we when we are manic. Sometimes I think they are wiser, but definitely ingenious and witty. They experience a similar (hopefully and of course mostly milder) crash in puberty. Or a mixed state, maybe.

Ah well, I see everything in relation to BP. That's me. But it helps greatly with dealing with it.

[bizi]

sorry you are feeling so poorly.
bizi

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I'm feeling better than I the crash I have had this weekend. My day still feels overwhelming but I think I am going to be able to handle it now. I showered and I took care of something important. I have gotten my clothes together for work and I cooked some of dinner and had my son cook the rest. I am going to continue to pray about this whole "no meds" thing. I'd still like to try life without meds again.

[Icare dixit]

Clear mind. Sense of control and ease. Hope it stays that way. I believe it will.

You are all great!

[Prism Bunny]

Tired but cannot sleep. So, I am browsing the internet and listening to music.

Originally Posted by Prism Bunny

Tired but cannot sleep. So, I am browsing the internet and listening to music.

hope you get some sleep soon!

i've gone without it for so long.. it'ss embarrasing to even talk about it- and that's far from over reacting

their comes a time with everything, where you just get so used to it it's pointless talking about it

[Prism Bunny]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

hope you get some sleep soon!

i've gone without it for so long.. it'ss embarrasing to even talk about it- and that's far from over reacting

their comes a time with everything, where you just get so used to it it's pointless talking about it

I used to be on a schedule of sleeping 8 hours a night, but lately, it has been a total mess. I will stay up between 24 and 48 hours, then sleep for almost 20 hours. I think I need to contact my Pdoc and see if I cannot fix the situation. Before medication I would stay up for four days straight; the trippiest thing one can do without being high. You see, feel, smell, hear things that otherwise a healthy individual would not. i remember the artworks that would come from being sleep deprived were strange and distorted. What I thought was a masterpiece turned out to be warped.

Sorry that you have trouble resting. You can always talk about it, though.
I have known people that took heavy tranquilizers just so they could sleep about 5 hours at a time. One guy even would be awake for a whole week and I would constantly keep a check on him because he would sometimes pass out for a few minutes, resulting in a fall. People have their problems, and sleep is a big one.

[fishin fool]

I am almost afraid to talk about it for fear of messing up the way I have been feeling.
It has been about a month now that I have been feeling pretty good.
I hope this continues for a good long while.

The good: I started work on time today!
The bad: I'm distracted

Hopefully today will be productive

the good: i got the lion king soundtrack (which i'm over the moon with)

the bad: spent most of the day in self pity, and wasted a whole thread talking about the lion king because i couldn't find this thread

i'll say it again... daily check-in threads should be sticky at the top, the most important thread in a subforum

[gayleggg]

Rather depressed today.

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[Unrigged64072835]

Feeling stable for a few months with a dip into depression here and there. Nothing serious, though.

We're putting a home office for me upstairs so I can have access to more natural light. Hopefully that will keep my mood up and give me more motivation. I sit in the basement and I don't feel like doing anything.

[Rjaye]

Had a down day over the weekend that had me worried, but I evened out by Sunday. Keeping my fingers crossed this mixture of drugs keeps me stable for a while.

[Nammu]

The good, I'm stable and start work tomorrow

The bad, I start work tomorrow....it's not really bad, it's just that it's been years since I worked and I'm a bit nervous about it. I was supposed to start June 6th but someone quit and they asked me to start tomorrow. It's only part time and a entry level job as a way to ease back into the whole job thing.

[Curiosity77]

My life is currently super weird and exciting. I don't know if this is permanent, or I'm destined to crash. My life has always been pretty cyclical in that way. But right now it's intense connections with beautiful people, and a world full of possibilities. All superimposed on a deep and calm belief that nothing really matters. The world is on a downward trajectory, but I'm not.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

The good, I'm stable and start work tomorrow

The bad, I start work tomorrow....it's not really bad, it's just that it's been years since I worked and I'm a bit nervous about it. I was supposed to start June 6th but someone quit and they asked me to start tomorrow. It's only part time and a entry level job as a way to ease back into the whole job thing.

good luck with work tomorrow!
bizi

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I woke up in a panic this morning. My heart was racing and I could not catch my breath. I talked to my case manager about my depression this weekend and about the anxiety that I was feeling this morning. We talked about my decision to reduce my medication. I made it to my three meetings today and crashed when I got home. Overall, I feel good about the day even with the hiccups.