[raspberrytorte]

I have a pdoc appointment today at three. I'm really anxious about it because I've (mostly) weaned myself off of seroquel and I know she's going to be angry. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to convince her I don't need to be on an AP. I just can't subject my body to any more of them! I have bad side effects to all of them. I feel I can handle my psychosis symptoms without.

I'm just not looking forward to this! She doesn't listen to me!

I can't do the AP rollercoaster anymore.

I want to get down to just taking lamictal and gabapentin, and propranolol prn.

I know she's going to be like YOU NEED TO BE ON A STRONG ANTIPSYCHOTIC!

I'm worried she'll drop me.

I don't have the strength today to argue with her.

I guess wish me luck.

[gina_re]

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes!!

[hopeless2015]

Good luck, hugs!!

Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk

[Ocean Swimmer]

Well it depends on how much you like her, need her.
If the risk of her dropping you is a really bad thing, you could keep quiet about the Seraquel. It's your option.

[raspberrytorte]

I actually really was thinking about taking the easy way out and not telling her.

The only problem with not being truthful with your medical doctor is that any decisions he makes, any assessment he makes, is based on what he assumes you are taking. That means he isn't able to accurately assess if what he is giving you is working correctly, he doesn't have an accurate picture of what drugs are interacting, etc., and in an emergency, he will assume you are taking a medication that you aren't.

[venusss]

Exaggerate the side effects. And then be firm. YOu want to try without. You put that **** in your body, not doctor. So the decision is ultimately up to you.

[furiousfever]

I would make a solid game plan for living without it. Explain to her what your coping mechanisms will be while not on ap. If you go into it strong and sure of yourself she is more likely to work with you. I was able to convince my last pdoc that I had the insight and support system in place to only use my seroquel in extreme distress. It's been great. I'm thinner and have more energy. I'm sure she won't drop you if she feels that you are truly acting in concern and accordance with your well being in mind.
Go get em, tiger.

Originally Posted by venusss

Exaggerate the side effects. And then be firm.

Yeah, sometimes you have to exaggerate things to make your doctor listen to you.

My pdoc and gp won't listen to me unless I exaggerate. Sad, but true.

If a med makes me feel irritable, my pdoc won't care, but if I tell him I nearly smashed my laptop out of rage, then he'll do something about it. (And I do tend to smash things when I'm irritable, so it's not a complete exaggeration!)

[BeyondtheRainbow]

How did it go? I know I'd be terribly anxious going into that so are you at least relieved?

[violetgreen]

I hope your pdoc was supportive of your decision.

[raspberrytorte]

I'm relieved it's over with, yes.

It went the way I expected it would go, but I wasn't anticipating her being that mad at me! Jeez. I thought her head was going to explode. She was mad about the AP thing (I'm not on any right now by the way. I stood firm on that), and she wants me off lamictal and on depakote, and I did try weaning off lamictal like she wanted me to but it wasn't going well so I stopped (I called about that, but she wasn't in at the time and a different doctor put me back on lamictal), and she wanted to try taking me off lamictal again because she said it's not working for me anymore and I said no.

Then she really got mad and started launching my entire psychiatric history at me and how I don't have any insight into the severity of my situation. I thought she was going to start throwing fire at me! I was getting all warm and freaked out. She kept on insisting that if I don't go on a different AP I'm going to go psychotic again and end up in the hospital and then she asked me if I even wanted to be on meds because none are working and I'm on three anxiety meds and am still anxious, like it's my fault they're not working all the way right now or something.

The entire time she was angrily clacking away on her keyboard. I thought she was going to break it.

And finally she grudgingly increased my lamictal and buspirone doses.

And I forgot I'm still on a ninety day hold from my OD at the end of december and she said she's going to have to report to my social worker that I haven't been med compliant because of the depakote thing? I'm confused by that.

Sigh.

At least I'm not on seroquel now!

Time to really start looking for a new pdoc.

[raspberrytorte]

And she said something about if I go up to the 400mg lamictal dose and want off I'd have to do it in the hospital? I don't understand that.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

That's weird. It's been a long time but I went from 400 down to something lower OP and without issues......

Your dr sounds just lovely....I hope you can find a new one.

[raspberrytorte]

I hope I can find a new one too. Good luck to me!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

If you are at all able to get to a teaching hospital I really recommend it. The doctors are typically more aware of new stuff and my experiences with several specialties has been that it is worth the effort (I live in a very rural area and drive 2.5 hours for my pdoc and it's totally worth it).

[Victoria'smom]

What a sweet lady. Hopefully you can find a new one that will listen.

Omg! Well I'm glad you stood firm. Best to find a new pdoc...

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I am just curious and I hope you don't mind my asking this (and please tell me to shut up if you do) but didn't this dr. diagnose you with schizoaffective? Do you think you have this? I only know you from online but you don't seem much like the people I've known with that diagnosis. (Which is why it stuck in my head).

[raspberrytorte]

Yes she is.

At this moment in time I'm not really sure what I have in all honesty.

From your knowledge of me, what makes me different from schizoaffectives you know?