[1278]

For me I think it was the first semester of my 2nd year of University. I was staying with my best friend at the time and it was my first time staying away from home so it was like a permanent sleepover. We would talk all night, laugh, I would hang out with her and her boyfriend (they didn't seem to mind me being the third wheel) but still be studious when it counted. I really miss the days of friendship but also not being sick.

[Melmo]

5 years ago, about 9 months after I had my first baby. I had lost 75 lbs and was about 160lbs, the lowest I have ever been. This was just before I found out my daughter's father cheated on me and got her pregnant, and then shortly after that finding out he also cheated on me with my best friend while I was pregnant. It's all been hell ever since.

[1278]

Originally Posted by Melmo

5 years ago, about 9 months after I had my first baby. I had lost 75 lbs and was about 160lbs, the lowest I have ever been. This was just before I found out my daughter's father cheated on me and got her pregnant, and then shortly after that finding out he also cheated on me with my best friend while I was pregnant. It's all been hell ever since.

Wow, I'm so sorry about what you've been through I wish there was something else i could say.

[venusss]

The times i am travelling....

[Melmo]

Yea, it's a long story but basically, I also found out he had a bunch of child porn on his computer, he stayed with the girl he got pregnant (a mutual friend of ours) and they have a little girl who is now 4 (18 months younger than my daughter) and now his fiancee is having another little girl in about 10 days. He also killed himself in October. So it has been a rough 5 years for sure.

[barbella]

Melmo, I am so sorry to hear all of this.

[Melmo]

Thank you

[Resident Bipolar]

I think my fondest memories were all, or mostly, spent with my granddad. He used to take me to a place called Nene Valley which was always my favourite place as a child. I love(d) him ever so dearly. Happiest times of my life!

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by 1278

For me I think it was the first semester of my 2nd year of University. I was staying with my best friend at the time and it was my first time staying away from home so it was like a permanent sleepover. We would talk all night, laugh, I would hang out with her and her boyfriend (they didn't seem to mind me being the third wheel) but still be studious when it counted. I really miss the days of friendship but also not being sick.

Omg what an ***! My ex cheated on me with my best friend before. Yea... Talk about those revenge fantasies I discussed!

But to answer OPs question... Is it sick to say that my best memories were probably when I was a drinker or a smoker? Some of my best AND worst memories were from these times. When I was in highschool, before I isolated myself and had a diagnosis, me and my friends would smoke together and just laugh till we cried. Yea I'm the annoying smoker that laughs non stop. I hope I didn't offend anyone. But I never had a problem with smoking.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Probably high school. That's when I used to have friends and it was right before my mood issues dramatically worsened. (College was hell for me, mood wise. I did all sorts of things I completely regret. I wasn't diagnosed as BP until after college, too.)

Now I'm a lonely 24 year old with only one friend who I barely talk to and hang out with. I need more friends, but I'm not good at making friends.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

Omg what an ***! My ex cheated on me with my best friend before. Yea... Talk about those revenge fantasies I discussed!

But to answer OPs question... Is it sick to say that my best memories were probably when I was a drinker or a smoker? Some of my best AND worst memories were from these times. When I was in highschool, before I isolated myself and had a diagnosis, me and my friends would smoke together and just laugh till we cried. Yea I'm the annoying smoker that laughs non stop. I hope I didn't offend anyone. But I never had a problem with smoking.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ah I miss those days too, before I had kids. I wouldn't say I drank often, but when I did drink I drank a lot lol. Actually a couple years ago my friends brought me to emerg on halloween night because I thought I had alcohol poisoning. It was just a combo of drinking too much/too fast on an empty stomach, being on meds for my depression/anxiety and getting over the flu. But I miss going out and drinking with friends and acting like an idiot lol. Only thing is, since I have social anxiety, I kind of used alcohol to be more outgoing.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Probably high school. That's when I used to have friends and it was right before my mood issues dramatically worsened. (College was hell for me, mood wise. I did all sorts of things I completely regret. I wasn't diagnosed as BP until after college, too.)

Now I'm a lonely 24 year old with only one friend who I barely talk to and hang out with. I need more friends, but I'm not good at making friends.

I don't make friends easily either. My only friends are ones I made in school. One from elementary school and one from high school.

[kkrrhh]

I think spring-early summer of 2014. I was taking Nardil, and it was like I was seeing the world differently, with much less anxiety and depression. I was working a customer service job that would probably normally suck, but since I was feeling great and hadn't been able before that to do a job like that because of anxiety, I kinda liked it. That winter, before starting Nardil, I'd lost a lot of weight (from anxiety and depression. It was kind of hilarious hearing everyone say I looked great and wanting to be like, "thanks! I was too depressed and anxious to eat, threw up when I tried to every morning, and was so weak I'd get dizzy and have to sit on the ground while walking! But hey) so that didn't hurt, and I was putting more into my appearance and liking it.

I can remember a few particular days, that I'd feel ridiculous telling someone were some of the best days of my life, but to actually have energy and feel good like that was just amazing. One day, after getting up at 5 am and working 7 hours or so, my family and I spent the day rafting. It was so beautiful out and it was fun, and to have the energy and motivation for something like that after working too was just unheard of and amazing to me. Another sunny day around then, my sister and I went to the botanical gardens and then to a really nice park. I have pictures of us sitting on the hill overlooking downtown, and looking at them still makes me happy and a little sad. I spent a lot of time around then hiking and in nature, and actually feeling present and peaceful. They seem simple, but just being able to feel that well after years of mostly being depression and anxious was incredible, it's ridiculous.

Oh to feel that good again, without ending up in a mixed state and quitting Nardil. Also oh to lose the 50+ pounds Nardil made me gain during that time that were kinda worth it, maybe.

My fondest memories are of the year I ran away to a cabin on a mountainside and spent my days making art, kayaking and hiking. Of course I was manic at the time.

[gina_re]

My 23rd birthday. I was living in St Louis and I had a three part celebration. Dinner at a restaurant, then to the bar, then to the club. I drank so much, especially since it was my bday and everyone wanted to buy me drinks. Best birthday EVER! There is no way I could do any of that now.

[wildflowerchild25]

In 2008. I had my first apartment with my husband, I wasn't sick, I was exercising regularly, living a great life with my husband. We got engaged in that apartment. Then my husband lost his job and we lost the apartment. Then we had our son and got a new apartment. Then we moved in with my mom and I got sick again and then my husband died. It's been hell for a few years now.

[pirilin]

My 1st marriage. I was 21, handsome and almost rich. Had my own business and my daughter was born the same year.
I had some depression even then. Dismissed by the GP as drinking and smoking too much.

The happiest period of my life was when i was a young child. I was so carefree and unselfconscious. I had a younger sister very close in age and she was my constant companion, my constant playmate and i loved her completely. We used to play Barbies and sand castles by the hour. I loved my mom and dad without a thought about their imperfections. I was indifferent to food. I had no worries and was confident that the world was unfolding as it should. Things started to fall apart when i was eight but up til then it was just one big long giggle. A childhood that is good for eight years is more than some people get so i try and be grateful.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

In 2008. I had my first apartment with my husband, I wasn't sick, I was exercising regularly, living a great life with my husband. We got engaged in that apartment. Then my husband lost his job and we lost the apartment. Then we had our son and got a new apartment. Then we moved in with my mom and I got sick again and then my husband died. It's been hell for a few years now.

I'm so sorry about your husband *hugs*

[Paracelsus]

I took 2,5-dimethoxy-4-bromoamphetamine once and felt happiness. I will always remember it as the happiest night of my life. Other than that it's been pretty boring being human.

[DesigningWoman]

Originally Posted by 1278

For me I think it was the first semester of my 2nd year of University. I was staying with my best friend at the time and it was my first time staying away from home so it was like a permanent sleepover. We would talk all night, laugh, I would hang out with her and her boyfriend (they didn't seem to mind me being the third wheel) but still be studious when it counted. I really miss the days of friendship but also not being sick.

Fondest memory/happiest period of your life?

My fondest memory is one trip from that my sister and I got to just be kids together. It was a rough childhood. We didn't get to spend much time together and almost never just the two of us. We spent had a great time playing tabletop games, watching tv, and playing croquet. We fought. We made up. We giggled. We played. We were sisters.
Her birthday present is currently in the back of my car. It's a vintage croquet set. I hope she remembers it. I hope we can play croquet with her family. I haven't played croquet since that summer.

As for the happiest period in my life, it's now. As odd as that might seem, this really is. For the first time in my entire life, I am truly free. I can choose to go or do what I want. I can take care of myself finally.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I was a camp counselor at a camp for children (and adults but I didn't work with them) with special needs during the summers while I was in collge. I was able to figure out what career path I wanted and I was able to make memories that are so precious as they are the most "normal" that I ever was and my only time that I was a typical teenager/young adult. The months I did it add up to a year and that non-consequetive year is the best thing I have ever had happen to me. I was confident, I was calm with emergencies, I handled things most 19 year olds couldn't, I just thrived. I got to take some neat trips between sessions (Philadelphia, Niagara falls, DC, Ocean City) and those memories are some of my happiest.

Other great things have happened in my life but those camp months are the best.

[Keegan2015]

The first semester of my sophomore year of college ... met some really good friends and had some extremely R-Rated but fun times. Then the depression started getting really bad during the second half of the year and I was kind of spiraling out in terms of untreated BP symptoms and drug use.

[raspberrytorte]

My late twenties.

It was after I was diagnosed and was put on lamictal and alprazolam. Both worked wonderfully. For the first time I wasn't anxious (at all! It was pretty awesome) or depressed. My life at this point also smoothed out, so I spent a lot of time relaxing and contemplating. On my days off I read and went shopping or went to the movies. I looked good. During this time period I wrote one of my books. Best two and a half months of my life! I stayed up all night writing and got up around nine and it felt really good.

Now things suck and I hate every day of my life. I know that's negative.

[Icare dixit]

Such nice stories!

For me: age 9–11, around age 22 and age 31 till now.

Cathartic joyful freedom from many (BP-lite/SZ-prodromes) problems. "Losing it", but not really (really really came only later).

It still hurts (a tiny bit) if people take my personality for BP: no BP doesn't flippin' mean that suddenly I will do all your bidding! I'm no sheep. Never was: that's called depression and too tired to fight you.