[emgreen]

I've been feeling horrible depression for no apparent reason for weeks now. I know most all of you know the feeling, so I feel really stupid detailing this. I never post on the bipolar thread because so many of the posts are duplicated, describing what I might be feeling at any given time. Given that introduction, forgive me...

I'm tired of waking up each morning feeling sick because the depression is there as soon as I open my eyes -- it's like a dull ache throughout my body. I also find myself crying for no apparent reason, which makes me reticent about leaving the house lest I start crying in public. I'm so damned tired of feeling like this; bad days or weeks can be somewhat tolerable, but this has been lingering for weeks. The thought of suicide runs through my mind on a daily basis, but they're just thoughts; I would hurt & disappoint too many loved ones if I took this route -- in my eyes, it seems selfish. I'll never go into a hospital again, as I don't think they do a damned bit of good...for me, they just feel like human warehouses. My therapist says I should try to resume a regular routine, but I don't have it in me....So, I sit here complaining.

I'm maxed out on my AD & I'm already on so many meds that I don't feel calling my pdoc for an earlier appointment would do any good. I'm at a loss. I can only hope this passes eventually. The thought of continuing like this is intolerable.

And this is simply a ditto...I know most of you recognize what I'm feeling. Nothing new here. I'm just tired.

[Melmo]

I know the feeling, I am in the exact same place.

[pirilin]

I 've been in a deep depression for more than eight, yes (8) months.
All for material things. But a lot of material things at that.
I was told I have emphysema and didn't even break a sweat. So far.
The mind is complicated. I should be depressed from the emphysema.

Well, after this rambling/confession I wish to tell you that I started Lithium.
Which is not perfect, but at least, I don't think about sui. And I'm at snail pace better.
Maybe you need to try the Lihium.

[Moreta]

I understand where you're coming from, I've been there myself. What really got me out of depression 4 years ago, was going on carbamazapine (Tegretol) and it helped a lot. There's a new ER version of if called Equetro and I feel that it has less side effects than Tegretol. It can cause weight gain, but the most I gained from it when I started it was 5 lbs.

I can tell you about some crystals too for depression. If you want to know more, just hit me up in chat.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I'm over thinking about sucicidal actions.
But I don't want to do much of anything.

You can try changing your diet. Times you get up and go to bed.
Getting vitamins and minerals especially vitamin D.
Yes. We know how you feel. Hope it gets better.

(((emgreen)))