Just venting...

It's tough to tell if I'm in an "angry" hypomanic state or if I'm in a mixed state, but either way, I know I'm not stable.

I keep getting angry at everyone and everything. I just snap. For example, this morning, I told my mom to f**k off and I called her a f**king stupid bullsh*tter because she never exchanged one of my Christmas gifts like she said she would. (She bought something online, so there's obviously no gift receipt. She's the only one with information to return it.)

I've been getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night, but I feel energetic and agitated. I'm getting a lot of cleaning done around my room as well, and I've been doing a lot of shopping as of late. Also throw in some reckless driving.

When I snap, I feel bad about it afterwards, but I can't help it. I'm still angry even when I feel bad.

My next T appointment is Monday, 2 days away. Today is the 4th day I've been feeling this way. It's awful because I've never felt like this before, and there's no one in my life to support me. My T is my only support.

(((Hugs)))

[Skeezyks]

Hello bluebicycle: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. I also struggle with anger. It seems like everything just pisses me off! I think I've always had this tendency. But I'm getting older & I'm not on any med's nor do I see a therapist. In my case, it is my poor wife who ends up being on the receiving end. And I also always feel bad when I snap. I keep trying to do better. And sometimes I do... for awhile. But then something happens & I'm right back to being angry again. It's a vicious circle... It's been a few days now since you posted this thread. Hopefully you're doing better now.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Sounds like a bit of dysphoria. I get like this but trileptal and risperdal really cut it down. I take 4-6mg PRN of risperdal when I start to feel like this. And yea I've said some horrible stuff to people when feeling like that. Like, evil stuff lol. When I start getting irritated now I just take an ativan and sleep it off. It's a roll of the dice how I feel when I awake though. All I know is if I don't distance myself from people, I'll go off on the drop of the dime! Talk to your pdoc about meds that cut down rage and do anything you need to relax. Hope you feel better!

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[raspberrytorte]

I hope you plan on telling your mom you're sorry.

[zijax]

hey bb, i feel the same way today. when im like this there is NO filter, i spew red hot anger. im clean and sober, so i wont take ativan or drink a few beers to cut the edge, its just me dealing with the big bad world. coping mechanisms are so far from my reach when im angry. they just do not work. talking about it helps. hope this has helped you. relate