I know I am strong... but I am afraid...

... I may not be strong enough for some ****.

And everybody thinks I am so great and brave and all and they just think I tend to freak out needlessly.

So I go on, do what is expected of me and more and pray the level of stress and bad things does not increase too much. I like good challenge, but I am just bit worried that some things may break me at one point. And I cannot afford that.

It's hard to always make an effort and to try, try, try. And struggle, struggle, struggle. I get sick of it.

Hello venusss: One of the reasons the Skeezyks forces himself to keep going is because he's afraid of where the bottom would be if he ever stopped. He pretty-much avoids anything that might break him. But there's always that "what if" loitering in the background. I celebrate your strength...

Stay strong. Many of us look up to you. The rest don't know you yet. Is not adding pressure to the cooker, only stating that you have earned the place we have you in.
Keep making us proud. God will provide if you ask.

Hi, I understand, I am in the same position as you, often we feel the need to put on a front sometimes I think that if others see me laughing, smiling, being open that somehow I will convince myself that I really am. Sometimes it works but mostly it does not. I personally think that people like you are very strong, because it takes a lot more strength to persist through life's trials and tribulations and still try to function as a "normal" member of society.
Don't give up!

In times of great stress, my p-doc prescribes me Xanax XR (extended release) to take the edge off. I recently went through a REALLY hard time (my husband's period of unemployment, which included having to support him financially and emotionally) and my p-doc prescribed that for me and it made a HUGE difference. I had gotten to the point where I told my p-doc "I don't think I can take all this stress anymore!!!" I was afraid I was going to crack and end up in the hospital.

Can you ask your T or p-doc for recommendations and/or meds to help alleviate your stress level? You may not want to do the benzos, but that's what works for me.

Thanks you all.

I just sorta wish I could give a breat, but each time I resolve one thing, another thing pops up.

Thanks. Maybe I can think of this as character building.

I need much more though, than pretend to be "normal". I need to be a superwoman basically, eh. But then again... there are many people who are that strong and maybe I am just expected to be one of them.

So i keep going... until I can afford to crash. Then I take retreat and hope I will be able to get up soon.

No doctors. Gotten myself rescue remedy from healthstore, that will have to do. I cannot afford to use anything that would dull my thinking anyways.

Benzos sound too tempting for my addictive personality.

I also feel like I need to be superwoman all the time. If we're weak sometimes that is okay. (I try to tell myself that at least.)

I know that..... but at the same time I feel I cannot afford to be weak.

Maybe the key is to admit it to those that can help me, take off some of my load... But at the same time, they have lot on their own shoulders as it is.