[manicdiamond]

hi everyone. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 after a very scary psychotic episode. I started taking antidepressants which may have triggered the major manic episode. Now I'm on a lot of medicine and I'm worried that I'll never be back to normal.

I used to have it all together and now I struggle with working part time. I never had to put so much effort into getting up, dressed, and doing normal everyday things. I feel anxious all of the time. I also feel so embarrassed that I lost touch with reality and acted so weird before I went into the hospital. I was having full blown delusions and hallucinations. I wonder how my brain could betray me so much.

I don't have much of a support system so I wanted to reach out and try to become part of this community. I've been reading for a while and I finally felt brave enough to post my story. I'm so scared that things will never get better. Does it get better?

thanks in advance

[gayleggg]

Hello and welcome. I'm glad you decided to post. Yes, it can get better, but it can also be a struggle. As you have found out, it can be tough to deal with, but with the right medication you can get back to a more normal life.

I've been dealing with being bipolar for 20 something years and I've had ups and downs. It's all about managing the symptoms. Give yourself time to recover. Life can be good even if you are bipolar.

[pirilin]

Welcome to PC. Hoping you feel better by now. You will find a lot of support here.
Yes, things get better. Much better.

[lilypup]

You're doing the right thing by reaching out to others who understand.
You'll feel better but it may take a while to get the meds right, etc.
Give yourself some leeway.
Don't be embarrassed by your behavior....was not your fault...everyone has problems.
Keep posting and talking- it will help!
Welcome.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs keep posting. Wishing you the best

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[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by manicdiamond

hi everyone. I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 after a very scary psychotic episode. I started taking antidepressants which may have triggered the major manic episode. Now I'm on a lot of medicine and I'm worried that I'll never be back to normal.

I used to have it all together and now I struggle with working part time. I never had to put so much effort into getting up, dressed, and doing normal everyday things. I feel anxious all of the time. I also feel so embarrassed that I lost touch with reality and acted so weird before I went into the hospital. I was having full blown delusions and hallucinations. I wonder how my brain could betray me so much.

I don't have much of a support system so I wanted to reach out and try to become part of this community. I've been reading for a while and I finally felt brave enough to post my story. I'm so scared that things will never get better. Does it get better?

thanks in advance

Yes, it gets better. In my experience a few months. Try to interact with people. Reestablish your believe in your senses. That goes pretty much automatically. Maybe talk to those you mistrusted. But also just reflect, rerationalise, as it were.

For me, a disbelief in one reality helps: you just deviated more than most. A gift, in some way, but not something that is gonna happen all the time, progressively more, if you take time to recharge, reorder/rerationalise and untangle. Depression does that for you. Use it. But don't isolate if you don't "have to": feel when you can start to function again, gradually.

[eclogite]

It gets better.

[st0psign]

Bipolar has its ups and downs (haha) but it does get better, then worse again. I'm glad you signed up on the forums if you dont have much of a support system, idk where id be without my family who are very supportive. Everyone here will give you nothing but advice and high hopes. So again gpad you joined. Once you get on the right meds things get better, you're not cured by any means, the highs and lows are still there. But they generally arent as high or as low and typically dont past nearly as long. Keep your head up things will get better for you, just hang in there buddy.

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[Victoria'smom]

It'll take awhile after a psychotic break to get back in the swing of things. Are you seeing a therapist to help you through?

I'm not sure better is the right term. Things change, your lifestyle has to change with it. Since you had a psychotic break you really have to watch your stress levels. For me that meant downsizing due to inability to work. I minimized my place to make it easier to clean and delegating chores. For me nothing that looks like work, even volunteering for 2 hours a week is getting to me. Schedules are really important and watching what you eat on anti-psychotics. It's not a bad life just a different one.

[jules77]

welcome
i know what you mean about wondering how your brain could betray you. i have been dealing with BP for ~5 years, and sometimes i still wonder that. does it get better? at times, it does. at times, it feels worse than it ever was. that is the nature of the beast, and it is rough. reaching out to other is such a positive thing, i'm glad you've joined this community. you're not alone here.

[DesigningWoman]

"My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned, and that's okay."

I am also new bipolar 2 diagnosis, officially Dec. 8, 2015 in the psych ward of a hospital. I was on massive doses of anti-depressants, which was making everything much worse. I have had serious depression most of my life, so the bipolar caught me unaware at 36.

I am not an expert on life with bipolar. For me, on meds is much better than off. I have logged hours crying on my therapist's couch. I would say i am still in the adjustment period on the way to a new normal. I think of that above quote often. No, I didn't plan this. At times, I don't accept it. But I will. I'll adjust. I will get better at life this way and my life will get better as a result.

You are not alone.

You are definitely not alone. And it does get better. I had a psychotic break around the holidays a year ago; I was hit with a horrible depression after, which was just as brutal, just different...
It took me about a month or so to go back to work, and I gave up my full time job and took a part time job. I would say I stabilized maybe about two months after that. However, things are different now and I suffered from some PTSD as a result of the break. I think the most important thing is to take it as easy as possible and keep your hopes high.

[raspberrytorte]

I had a psychotic break last january and now I'm, finally, feeling back to normal.

So, it may take your brain sometime to heal from it, but it will eventually.

I hope you feel better soon!

Oh, and as a side note, I was on a ton of meds and felt awful, weaned off of most of them and now I'm feeling a million times better. NOT saying you should do this, but sometimes meds can hurt more than help. In my personal experience.

[Pikku Myy]

You will learn to like yourself again may take a while, but you will.

[manicdiamond]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

It'll take awhile after a psychotic break to get back in the swing of things. Are you seeing a therapist to help you through?

I'm not sure better is the right term. Things change, your lifestyle has to change with it. Since you had a psychotic break you really have to watch your stress levels. For me that meant downsizing due to inability to work. I minimized my place to make it easier to clean and delegating chores. For me nothing that looks like work, even volunteering for 2 hours a week is getting to me. Schedules are really important and watching what you eat on anti-psychotics. It's not a bad life just a different one.

I did see a therapist for a while but we didn't click in a helpful way. Now I'm not seeing anyone because my insurance is being crappy. I should probably find someone new though.

[manicdiamond]

thanks everyone for the responses! I feel less lonely here already. I am weaning off a super high dosage of respiradone - I'm down to 2mg a day. I think this is helping me feel more like myself. I do worry about going psychotic again but at least I know that if I start to get very sensitive to light that is a warning sign.

thanks again to everyone. group hug!

[Phoenix_1]

Welcome. You'll find great people here. Keep on posting.

It takes a while to find the right combination of drugs to stabilize your moods. Are you on a mood stabilizer? Antidepressants alone can make some people manic. I take Lamictal as a mood stabilizer. It literally changed my life.

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