Being on as little meds as possible, while maintaining balance

I had a pretty decent 2 months stretch. For me it was stable. Then i got a little out of whack. I took PRNs, settled back to 'normal' for me. Then I decided I didn't need AP anymore, so I stopped. Which led to some nice hypomania, that didn't really last and some parts of the day I'd have that really really good feeling, other times irritable and little focus. I told my MD I quit the AP which he didn't endorse and said to at least consider it PRN if I feel out of balance. And to take 100mg more of lamictal (300 total, in a split dose).

I talked to a couple nurse friends (psych RNs), and my mom. I now agree to do the lamictal, and started the AP again as routine starting yesterday. I got a lot of sleep yesterday/last night. It helped to talk to them.

SO....I just want balance. Hypomania can be very fun, but it's just a false sensation from neurochemicals. And then leads to tailspins.

I have a new job, I'm doing OK, I'm making a living again. I want and need to keep that. "stable" seems so boring to me, when I'm on the higher end of the spectrum. If 'stable' means I avoid or minimize depressive episodes, which WILL come back unless I'm medicated, then I guess so be it. I'll have a 'stable' boring life but that beats the alternatives. I've never been hospitalized but have been to a 4 week daily outpatient program twice. I do not ever want or need to do that again. It did really help, saw MD at least once a week and made changes along the way, and left the program 'stable'.

SO....I'll take what MD says and stop denying I have a medical condition that needs treatment, and for the time being that includes meds.

My current meds are now: 150 lamictal twice a day; 0.5 Risperdal at night; 0.25 klonopin at night. I want as little meds as possible and these doses are not that bad considering was on a lot more a year ago. Exercise is a medicine as far as I'm concerned, so is nutrition, so is sleep hygiene. So that combination, along with meds, can help me stay on track and live this pending 'boring' 'stable' life.

I think it sounds like you're on great meds! Excellent number. I hope you remain stable.

I also want to be on the least amount of meds possible. Lamictal, gabapentin, and propranolol prn are what I'm on. Gabapentin isn't working and I want off it and tried but it felt so awful!

Thanks Raspberry. How has lamictal done for you? I'm hoping 300 is good for me.
Ask your doctor about a safe taper off the Gab. 10-20% every 2 weeks I think is the best way and I've read a lot about that. That is how I went from 3mg of risperdal down to 1mg. And exercise and a regular sleep routine. Lol, I then messed up by totally stopping it from the 1mg, but now am going to try .5 and see how that goes. One dose helped me last night, and I only took .25 actually. Which is a tiny dose but I say tiny doses is what we should be taking. I hadn't taken any for a week before that, and was getting unhinged. Docs often way over prescribe, I think. And it impairs our ability to live 'normal' as we can, and hurts our physical bodies too. So the smallest theurapeutic dose is the way to go. One of the many benefits to that is coming off of something gets a lot easier then.

I wish you good luck and do talk to your MD on the Gab. And never forget how far exercise, nutrition, and sleep hygiene can take you and help manage your health.

I used to think being stable was boring. I LOVE hypomania and would try to induce it as much as possible. Unfortunately for me hypo only lasts about a week. If it's uncontrolled it will spin into full blown mania which devolves into nasty mixed episodes. Then I always get hospitalized. I did that for a couple of years before I got ECT again and got to experience real stability. Now I think stability is awesome. I've been stable for about two months now and it's been great. I'm confident but not grandiose, energetic but not bouncing off the walls, productive but able to rest and relax. It's the best. I'm finally done with the siren song of mania. It's too dangerous and I have a son to raise. I can't be in the hospital every few months.

So I understand stability seeming boring when you know your mind has access to super powers. But for me it's better.

I'm also on a low dose of meds. Just two different ones. The Invega has really been a life changer for me - no mania or psychosis for almost two years since I've been on it. The jury is still out on the emsam, but I have lots of room to go up if I feel depression creeping in. Only side effect from that is insomnia, which I'm dealing with my taking herbal supplements. I'm so glad I gave up the klonopin!

I respect your decision to stay on meds even though you really don't want to. And also that you were able to lower the risperdal so drastically. You never know until you try!

Thanks flower, I like what you said here:

"I understand stability seeming boring when you know your mind has access to super powers."

That is hard for me. When I'm manic side I totally have access to super powers. It's a different vibration in our bodies, and for me at least, I feel connected to the universe in a way I can't even describe. The buzz from that is amazing. But, as you said, and as my friends keep pointing out, it leads to a tailspin if not medicated by PRNs or whatever is used. So, it's better to have balance. Even if it's boring. Hopefully I can continue telling myself that and believing it and living it. "Walking the walk" as my therapist likes to say.

I've made a complete 180 recently. I started seeing a nutritionist and started exercising more. (I have a bad combo: underweight + high cholesterol, which means I can't lose weight to reduce cholesterol.)

I feel really good since I've started eating better and exercising more. It's only been a month, but I go to the gym 3-4 times a week, half an hour at a time. It may not seem like a lot, but you only need a little bit of exercise to make you feel better.

I hope you find exercise as refreshing as I do. I go to a gym which offers a million different classes... yoga, weight training, boxing, MMA, spinning, TRX, etc.. I can't even count how many different classes they have... but I'm more motivated to work out when I have a class that I go to. Working out on your own is a little boring (in my opinion), so I would recommend joining a class if you haven't already.

And yes, nutrition is a big part of it as well. You really are what you eat. If you eat like crap, you feel like crap. This is coming from someone who often ate candy for breakfast.

I would recommend a nutritionist for anyone who's never tried it before. It's amazing how many bad foods are disguised as healthy foods (e.g., certain salads, certain sandwiches, certain wraps, etc.). I remember hearing that it's healthier to eat a Big Mac from McDonald's than to eat one of McDonald's salads... because the salad dressing has more fat in it than the entire Big Mac!

Anyway, i'm currently on 4 meds... Latuda, Lexapro, Lamictal, and Ativan (which is PRN). I hope to get rid of Latuda at some point, although it's been doing a good job of preventing hypo/mania. I just don't like that nasty little side effect... you know, that it kills brain cells and causes your brain to shrink over time.

Thanks piano!

I'm on 400mg of lamictal. Working well for me!

I'm inbetween pdocs right now and have to go to the pharmacy today anyway, so I think I'm going to ask the pharmacist how I should wean off of the gabby.