[Bobbyj]

Okay so to start i know it's best to avoid drugs and alcohol in any case and especially with BP. I'm just wondering how you guys have acted under the influence in the past. I'm always jealous of the people that seem to be able to enjoy drinking and have no issues. In my case i drink until i'm sick or passed out. This has gotten me into so many fights with friends and generally acted CRAZY. I've blacked out more times than i can count. I feel like i am the only one that has had trouble with this, i get so depressed and wreckless off alcohol. I get jealous and try to ruin everyone's night as well because people seem to be happier than me. That's not my sober mindset, but i tend to turn into an awfule person while extremely drunk. I'm usually easy going and happy with only a couple drinks, but it quickly turns into suicidal depression. There's an easy answer for this-don't drink or do drugs. I get that if i can't figure out a way to drink lightly, then i am going to have to call it quits altogether. Anyway what are your guys experiences? Any crazy things you've done? I turn into a completely different person pretty much under the influence, i'm wondering if this is common with people with BP, maybe BPD?

[gina_re]

Tequila = poor judgment (i.e. why am I not in my bed this morning??)

All sustances are unpredictable for me. Take for instance coffee. Sometimes I'm tired, drink a bunch and go to sleep. Other times I'm tired and drink a cup and get that little perk you expect. And sometimes still, I drink a cup and get wired beyond believe. Sometimes I've had alcohol and it's been super chill and fine. Other times, I'm a depressive mess instantly, and sometimes still I get manic and instead of waking up with hangovers, I wake charged for days. Since things are unpredictable for me, I do my best to avoid. But I will have a beer, or coffee, I just watch my behaviors and so will others who I trust. I don't relate to trying to ruin people's nights or feeling like other people are happier. I'm sorry. Big hugs. It sounds like you are figuring out your patterns and that is good though.

PS, you have the same name as a dearly departed aunt.

[pirilin]

Some of us know no limits. My tombstone script:
"Here lays an asshole that new no limits."

Alcohol and drugs to me are poison that would kill me sooner than i'd like. My body is sick enough without escalating matters,,, i simply say no thank you.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I've had my fair share of experience with alcohol and other substances. Like you, I blacked out every time I drank and I've ruined many peoples nights as well as relationships. I'm definitely not proud of this. I also had a pdoc that introduced me to stimulants and like alcohol, and like pirilin, I knew no limits lol. That's a whole nother thread for a different area of this forum though. Let's just say that I've had my share of struggles and have yet to see more.

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[GoldenSnitch]

I don't do any drugs but I do drink on occasion. I find that different types of alcohol affect me differently. Wine makes me drunk immediately and I love everyone and get into some dangerous sexual areas. Vodka keeps me sober longer and I tend to mellow out and be a depressed drunk. And my mind goes out of control.

It would be nice to just never drink but I do enjoy a social beverage now and then. And once in a while I self medicate with it. So I'm not an expert on saying no either.

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[Bobbyj]

Thanks for all the replies i really appreciate it everyone. I just feel like i'm unpredictable and act completely out of character. Ruined so many relationships/friendships doing this crap. I'm not sure if it's related to mental illness or my tendency to go overboard binging, probably both. Enough alcohol will probably make most people lose their mind. Was just wondering if you guys noticed any tendencies that bipolar or possibly bpd(i know this is bp forum but they seem to overlap) people seem to have while drinking or using any certain drugs.

[Keegan2015]

I used to rage HARD. Lots of drugs, but especially alcohol (due to it's sedative / numbing effects and extreme availability). A lot of sources suggest that booze is very bad for BP people because it can trigger mania OR depression and cause many types of medication to stop working properly.

When I used to drink I would get overly emotional (euphoric or depressed) and definitely feel overly confident in myself.

Coming up on 3 months of sobriety pretty soon though so I'm proud of that

[Wander]

I'm stoned now and responding just fine

[Bobbyj]

Yup i get very emotional, and i get a bit manic at the start of drinking only to switch to anger/depression etc

[Pflaumenkeks]

Very different. Beer is mostly a good choice for me, as I'm just like on a hypo (with less clear speach ability but surprisingly long on focus).
wine is difficult. I get super sexual and cannot quite controll myself. vodka & co are my nemesis. A bit, and I don't know what I am doing, whith whom I was doing it or where tf are we?? It's just a huge don't for me

I am a recovering addict but my drug of choice was alcohol, I would as always black out most of the time, When ever I drank it was unpredictable and I didn't know what was going to happen, All I can do is suggest you join alcoholic annomous, That is where you will find all your answers