The fun side of having psychosis.

Last night I couldn't sleep so I started thinking of funny things I did in the past before me digging into research on mental health, so before me knowing anything about Bipolar, psychosis and mania.
I remember that when I was little and still not that deep into my depression I was left alone a lot which I loved. My parents trusted me and we had a police man on the floor under me plus we live in a safe neighbourhood. I had a flip phone from which I was listening the radio. I heard the door open and close is my hallway. For some reason I "knew" that someone came in. I went under my bed, leaving my phone on the top of the mattress. I got so scared and by that time older me knows that I was in a psychotic episode, there was no way I was on my brain at that point. I reached for the mattress and picked up my "phone" and dialled some random 3 number phone number. I started talking complete nonsense to my non existent phone that I pulled from my mattress and then I just fell asleep mid talking. When I went back to that story I died laughing. And this happened a lot of times. Or similar things like that. I used to call my phone from my phone because I lost it in my hand.. or I would put on 2 belts because the first one "wasn't good enough" (poor belt). I tried walking through my wall because the door scared me. I ran after a woman who I thought was my mother. To be honest I am happy I don't do this anymore. Now I just stare at my teddy bear who morphs into rabbits, crickets, and whatever else that bear has "morphed" into. Oh I once ate a whole balloon which was on the other side of the room. Today I went into a bus which was completely wrong, went to the other side of the city, switched a bus and went to the other, other side of the city. And I also ate cotton balls thinking it was pizza?
To be honest sometimes I love my psychotic episodes. Sometimes.

Well I certainly have. For a year I thought I was a world class adventurer. It was a fun year as the combination of this delusion and thirst for risky behavior led me to some pretty incredible experiences.

awwww. I'm sorry you went through all that but glad you have a positive outlook now.

While I was in the hospital last month, I was having bad psychosis. I felt everyone in the hospital had adopted a part of my personality to mock me. I went up to a girl who was in the process of getting naked in the open courtyard and asked her "Whats really going on here, please be honest with me" She said "We got too big for our britches and they put us on a reality TV show" I went to the nurses to complain because I hadn't signed up or given permission to be on the show and I didn't want to be. The girl followed me and began pointing to all the nurses and saying "DO you know any of these peoples names, what do you really know about them" All their names on their name tags fuzzed out and morphed into something unreadable. when I told the nurse I didn't agree to be on the show, she advised me not to talk to the girl. I then stopped talking to everyone because I knew I was in the rabbit hole big time and was too easily influenced by others.

When I told my doctor about this, he started busting up laughing. It was a good thing I had started laughing about it myself. 2 weeks prior if he would have laughed, I'd have fired him. I'm really surprised he laughed to be honest.

In 6th grade I thought my entire school was flirting with me. I had about 27 girlfriends and about 10 boyfriends (all of which I've learnt are gay). I used to sit at a rock look up the sky and sing some kind of a song because I was in Hawaii? And now I just started laughing because my rubbing alcohol bottle has an yellow cap, and I think that I am high, even though I haven't had anything other than water. Ahh your brain can be amazing once it has to be.

Scar, are you manic now? Are you safe?

I am having an episode with psychosis in it.. kinda new to this don't know which one is it. Just know I have a psychotic episode the rest is kind of unknown. But I am safe, I have close people around me that got my back, don't worry.