running away

How do you run away when you can't drive? I'll have money but no way to actually leave.

Why do you want to run away? Is it something within your home or is it your state of mind?

My best advice would be to buy a Greyhound bus ticket. Last time I used their service it was around ninety dollars from Tennessee to New Jersey (to visit a friend). You are safe during the trip, you transfer if need be and given breaks, and the other passengers are usually nice and talkative.

I mean if you plan to do it; be safe.

I don't know if I want to be married anymore. I'm certainly shouldn't be a mom right now. Traveling sounds like fun.

You're not thinking straight

You posted a bunch of threads about mania

Maybe you should wait a while and think about your marriage and son

But now I have the courage to leave.

How will it help your son to know you abandoned him? He will not be thankful you're gone. He will only wonder what he did to cause this. He will blame himself forever.

More and more you sound like you need more intensive intervention -- sooner than later. Please consider going to the hospital.

Walking in and out of his life like I do (always at SIL house) is not ideal either. At least he'll have his dad. I'd come back when I have a place, I think, I just feel stuck.

I'm writing everything to my T and see what she says next Friday (not tomorrow). I'm not a danger to myself or others yet. I'm just up a little.

Please, if you have a child, do not abandon them. They need their mother, even if that means mother needs some time in a place where she will be safe. I promise you will feel differently soon and you will realize these thoughts are part of the cycle.

Please tell your husband or call to get help.

I don't want to hurt my husband if this is a cycle thing. He knows I'm up and he is too. I can't leave until next Friday after T appointment anyway.

MM..... you have gone through these episodes many many many times that you and I have known each other over the years.

Take you meds exactly as prescribed. Encourage your husband also who apparently is unstable to take his.

Please let your SIL take care of Miguel... He is watching his mother and father decompensate and hearing stuff he probably should not be hearing. He will be safer with the SIL and then you and your husband can work on stabilizing yourselves.

I'm not being rude or trying to offend.. But Miguels safety and well being needs to be first and foremost.

I'll see if she'll have him.

Did you find out if she can take him?

Not yet tomorrow. We may stay there the week-end.

We gave decided that because she smokes to much.

I don't know you, but from what I've read I don't feel you are thinking clearly.
I don't know much about your personal situation either.

However, I have lived with a mother struggling with severe depression and her being hospitalized for a long time. This was really hard sometimes but I would NEVER have chosen not to be with her. When we had to live more with my dad (they are divorced) I was really confused and hurt. (However she was never far away. A 10 minute drive). In the end I understood it was because she was too tired and needed space to get better, but I spent a long time hurting because I felt she shut us out.

One thing is to leave your child with someone else while getting yourself back to a better place to be, it is completely different to leave completely.

Unfortunately the people that usually took care of him have found the joy of smoking and that's all they do from the time they get home from work to the time they sleep. Plus they no longer want him there a lot. My husband seems more clear headed (at least then me.) right now and he's taken to care for Miguel. I know this is probably scary for him but the alternatives are bleak.

You honestly think exposure to smoking relatives for a few days is worse than exposure to both parents mentally decompensating in front of his eyes? You really are not thinking straight.

It's pot not cigarettes. They drive high and everything. I don't want him caring for his cousin . I know I'm not doing well but my husband is fine now. I may be like this for months. I hope I am this is beautiful. So if we do send him it'd only be for a week. That's if they allow him over.

I don't pretend to be thinking straight. This is all on my husband. I wish that t's were involved more to help gauge where my husband is at with the mania thing. How do you tell if someone has bad mania?

sounds like a very manic type of decision. and given your other posts recently that's just more proof that's what's going on, don't do anything you'll regret later.

I talked to my husband and he said that he would fight a divorce and that if I do take off he'll have me hospitalized.

how are you doing?
bizi

My husband asked me to take sleeping meds and I said no.

MM.... you and your husband have an agreement that if one of you is not doing well you would believe the other person and do as they ask? This agreement you have posted about here on PC numerous times ( last year if not longer ago )..

Maybe look back through your posts and find them.. Maybe that will help you understand why he is wanting you to take YOUR meds.

Just a thought