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#1
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The sun is coming up and the birds are screeching and singing. It's driving me crazy. It's deafening. All of my senses are hyper sensitive right now and everything is irritating me. I hate summertime. 19 hours of sunlight irritates the crap out of me. I miss winter. I want to cold and the darkness and the snow. I had to turn off my favorite movie because it started irritating me. Now I'm just sitting here in my living room with all the lights out as it's slowly gets brighter from the sun coming up. I'm never going to sleep tonight. I have so many things to do tomorrow. I'm paralyzed from the stress of having to do it all. Sorry I keep posting and rambling...my brain is like one huge run on sentence full of nonsense. I keep thinking about Lewis Carroll......Contrariwise,if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic......and about he brush strokes in Van Goghs 'Starry Night over the Rhone'...I tried counting them. Impossible.....Sorry. You're much too big. Simply impassable..... You mean "impossible"....No, impassable. Nothing's impossible.
I'm not making sense.....
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Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
![]() BipolaRNurse, cashart10, gubernova
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#2
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Could you try some grounding skills? They've have helped me. But honestly I think I was in a bad mixed state and not on the right meds. But I was on meds. But you can go to the ptsd forum and they have some techniques you can try.
Or look up distress tolerance skills. Those have helped me a bunch too. You really need some meds. So sorry you're having to wait. ![]() |
![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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#3
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The waiting is killing me. One more month before I see the Pdoc. This is hell.
__________________
Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
![]() Anonymous41403, Victoria'smom
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#4
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Do you have a benzo? lay down and listen to your breathing. Drink something through a straw.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
#5
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I've taken two benzos already. Doc said could do that if I absolutely needed to. I'm waiting for the second one to kick in.
__________________
Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
#6
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I have blackout curtains in my bedroom to help with too much light. Have you tried them? I'm so sorry you are struggling so much. (((Hugs)))
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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#7
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Quote:
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__________________
Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
#8
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You're making sense. Van Gogh is a bit overrated, but Lewis Caroll is great. Anyway that wasn't really what made much sense.
![]() But the hypersensitivity does. I'd suggest you go to bed at say, 3 or 4 am. The chances you are tired are higher and you don't get hypersensitivity which really doesn't help with sleeping. There are ways to make insomnia more bearable. Not resting when you're not at all tired is one. Resting will make you mad and you won't sleep much and possibly feel more tired when you get up. But it's also about not caring too much. If you just relax and just lie there, the hypersensitivity will be less severe. I didn't sleep tonight but I possibly feel a lot better because I don't have hypersensitivity that stays with me when getting up and I might also be less tired. Definitely mentally less tired. Or just rest for 30 minutes and then do something else. But only if you otherwise won't sleep for a few days. So likely only when very manic or depressed. Try not sleeping for one night. It won't kill you. Hope this will help. ![]()
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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#9
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But did you sleep? I hope so.
But really, when I have hypersensitivity due to insomnia (especially when severely depressed) the birds and the sun are like knifes cutting through my brain. But this morning, it was great: the birds, the sunrise, cars, people, the smell of freshly baked bread and freshly cut flowers, mowers, freshly cut grass. It was great. And hopefully I'll be tired at the end of the day and sleep and get up early tomorrow.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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#10
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So I didn't sleep at all.....left the house early and was at IKEA when it opened. Came home...cleaned my entire apartment top to bottom....put together things from IKEA...hung curtains...went to the grocery store...rearranged all the art on my walls (there's a lot)....made dinner....went back to the store to get stuff to make a Swedish summer strawberry cake....I finally sat down and ate dinner about 10 minutes ago....didn't eat much. Contemplating going on a walk in the forest seeing as how the sun will be up past 10pm
__________________
Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
![]() Icare dixit
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![]() Icare dixit
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#11
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I'm so sorry you can't get into a pdoc sooner. That does sound like hell. Some times the only thing that can help is meds. I wish you relief!
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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#12
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Quote:
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__________________
Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
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