[Wander]

This ****cking bipolar is taking all the enjoyment out of life. I have been IP since Monday and am now on suicide watch because of high agitation, irritability mixed in with SI. When will this end. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Sorry to be a downer but I am really struggling right now and need as much support as I can get. I can't even see my T as they won't let me out of the hospital and he doesn't do home/hospital visits. At least he has been texting me, which i am grateful for. For now I am merely existing and have little hope I will even be better. I have tried meditation but my brain won't shut up and I end up frustrated and more agitated than before.I can't even concentrate enough to colour in or stay in groups. Seeing my psychiatrist today and hope he has some ideas to help me. I haven't been this bad in a long time. It scares me.

RANT OVER

[Anrea]

I think this rant is incredibly healthy for you! I think every flipping minute you feel like screaming you should jump back in, do an edit, and do some virtual hollering. http://forums.psychcentral.com/groups/vent-out.html

It will pass. We both know it. But for now, you really need to release some of the energy. If you have to appear still - like if you are eating in a group- clench leg muscles or your toes - somewhere hidden that you can focus half your energy. Try to keep the tension out of your face and into somewhere discreet.

If you can do a little exercising - DO IT. Do a hundred jumping jacks, run in place etc. Something that appears like a healthy choice. Also, mind games (way harder because of focus is difficult on anything that isn't a target for the aggression), but if you can do some kind of mind game, crossword, name the presidents, math.

This extra energy/ aggression is a normal response to your heightened state.

[Victoria'smom]

Hopefully the pdoc can help you soon.

[Wander]

Andrea, Jumping Jacks are a great idea. Will try them today. Need to burn off some this exceeds energy. Only problem is that I have Fibromyalgia and it limits the amount of exercise I can do each day.

[Nammu]

Ooo that's hard. I hate being inpatient when I feel that way. Rant away here we'll understand.

[Anrea]

Originally Posted by Wander

Andrea, Jumping Jacks are a great idea. Will try them today. Need to burn off some this exceeds energy. Only problem is that I have Fibromyalgia and it limits the amount of exercise I can do each day.

Well that sks. Hmm, there must be some exercises that you can do. I am going to google it, probably recommends something like "in water".

Edit addition: Yep, some stuff online. http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/gu...a-and-exercise

I am sorry you suffer from fibromyalgia. I often wonder how people in wheelchairs handle stress when they can't release it with using energy. (not that you are in a wheelchair, I am just saying) Sometimes I windmill just my arms. But nothing releases energy fast as a bunch of jumping jacks.

[Anrea]

Hey Wander, do you like gaming, and if so - are you allowed to look at youtube vids? If yes to both, you might find these fun and funny.

Battlefield friends on Happy Hour https://www.youtube.com/user/happyhour/featured

[Wander]

"Trying to get my head straight, I'm playing in a game that I can't will. I started in the wrong place. A slap to the cold face of love, I want to stop this *od damn beating heart, IT'S KILLING ME! This is killing me"

Birds of Tokyo (Australian Band)

This is how I feel right now.

[Anrea]

Originally Posted by Wander

Birds of Tokyo (Australian Band)

This is how I feel right now.

Okay, I googled Birds of Tokyo Australian Band - but they have lots of songs. Name some lyrics if you can't remember the title please.

[st0psign]

things do get better eventually, though it may seem like an eternity.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Anrea

Okay, I googled Birds of Tokyo Australian Band - but they have lots of songs. Name some lyrics if you can't remember the title please.

Birds of Tokyo, "If this ship sinks (I give in)"

[Anrea]

Originally Posted by Wander

Birds of Tokyo, "If this ship sinks (I give in)"

I listened to it. Its really heavy. I ran over my own saved music to try to find something to balance the dark with some light. I couldn't find anything just right - so, I decided to share this one with you. It is my newest fav that makes me smile.

Edit addition: tbh, I wanted to share this one with you, because of the ship theme, and this song makes me happy... but I thought it sent the wrong message. Now I think, WTH. Don't read anything into the lyrics, and enjoy the happy beat.

[Wander]

My doctor ordered an Accuphase injetion to calm me down. It has worked but I can hardly type and am still very low.This must end soon as I am beside myself...STUPID MEDS!

[Anrea]

Wondering how you are today.

[cincidak]

Hello Wander. The last time I was in a crisis ward I became super manic, then I got euphoric. I couldn't stop laughing. They got me stable, but I didn't stay that way when I left. It's just in the last nine months that I've been stable. My pdoc finally found the right med combo for me. How are you doing today? Any better. They finally found the right antipsychotics that work for. I have to take two, but to me me they aren't sedating fortunately. Hope today was much better. Prayers are with you.

Sent from my SM-T550 using Tapatalk

How are you feeling today? Any improvements? (((Hugs)))

[MusicLover82]

I've been in the hospital before. Hang in there. They will get you straightened out. Sometimes they have to try a couple different combinations of meds to find the right thing. HUGS!!!! We're here for you, so feel free to post more.

[Wander]

Thanks so much everyone. i am still too sedated to from the injection to reply much. Not doing well. My doc is working on my cocktail snd the nursing staff are very supportive. Still I feel suicidal and overwhelmed. Hopeless. I cannot go on like this. Will post more when able.