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#1
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My goals for today are to buy my daughter a fish, not freak out at work, and type because I'm way behind.
Fish thing probably won't happen though because I don't have any money right now BUT maybe I can figure something else out. I want to get her a little betta. They always look so depressed at the store, just floating there in those tiny little cups. Poor things. If I was floating in a tiny little cup I'd be unhappy too.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#2
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Aren't there any manic fish is tiny little cups? Circling very fast, the tiny little cup looking like a small jacuzzi. "Look at me! I'm gonna free all the animals! You wait and see!"
My goal today is to appreciate me feeling mildly depressed. It probably means fewer mood changes if any at all. That's progress. I should learn to function better like this. That takes time without continuous change.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#3
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The fish idea is very nice. I never had a fish.
If I had, maybe I would've been more at ease with sameness and routine. ![]()
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#4
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No. Seriously. They always look limp and lethargic, like they're dead but they're not. Poor things. They're really depressing. lol. Awe. I'm going to spoil one and make sure our cat doesn't eat it. That would be a sad end for a fish. Though I suppose a lot of fish have that sort of ending. I don't eat fish or anything that has a face, like a bunny or something. Awe bunnies. They're mean though! At least the one my sister had in high school was. Those sharp teeth, always biting. I bet it's dead now.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#5
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You like feeling mildly depressed?
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#6
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I feel like I'm back inpatient lol. We had to do daily goals group in the AM. i just had a dream about IP last night too.
Hmmm my goal is to not drink too much at my brother's barbecue! I need to be able to drive home at some point so I need to keep it together. It will be hard because I'll be drinking mixed drinks instead of my usual redd's apple ale. When I have the bottles I can monitor how much I drink. I mean worst comes to worst I can stay at my brother's house but I don't think my mom would appreciate that. She's being nice enough to watch my son for me again even though she just watched him yesterday so I could get my tattoo. And she watched him last weekend so I could go to a concert. She's been very understanding and generous with her time and I don't want to take advantage. Good luck with your fish! My son had a few but they just kept dying, which I don't understand because I had one that lived for like five years when I was a teenager. I don't get why I can't keep my son's fish alive! So I gave up because it was heartbreaking to see him cry after they died.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
#7
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No. But it's much better than the constantly alternating severe depression and mania. It should be better. But it's like fearing the unknown and expecting it to end. It's less reliable or so it feels to me. I need to get used to it. Last two weeks or so didn't help.
I wouldn't want to see a fish in a fishbowl or something that small. But like a cat, I don't think they have much expression in their face, not many muscles. I would buy an aquarium and buy more fish and have algae and coral and some little wooden hut or maze even or something. But that's really expensive probably. I don't know.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#8
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Oh man.
I love hard apple cider. A maze. I didn't think of that. That would be awesome. Other goal: Stop forgetting to take my damn meds! Got here and was like ****!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#9
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And I at least know I'm not manic. I can do whatever I need to do, albeit very slowly and with not much concentration and bad memory, but I am not forced but can force myself.
It's really heavenly if you think about it. ![]() I stopped taking my supplements because they really seem to help. Starting Monday, I will only take my mood stabiliser and my supplements: no antipsychotic. I hope I can do this for a week.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#10
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That's a great goal. Are you on an antipsychotic now as well?
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#11
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I like apple juice and pear juice and pineapple juice and whatnot (in cartons, from M&S). Not hard cider.
(Scotch) whisky is my preferred alcoholic beverage. But sometimes I settle for less. ![]() ![]()
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#12
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Plant more veggies and flowers and herbs.
Maybe before it rains...
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"...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
![]() Icare dixit
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#13
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I also think whisky gives the least anxiety after the effect of the alcohol wears off.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#14
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Grocery shopping.
My fridge only has a little bit of cheese, half a bottle of wine (thanks hypomania), orange juice, fruit punch, milk, and a leftover cheeseburger from yesterday. |
#15
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My goal for for today is to get out of my pj's....right now I'm thinking I could stay in them all day. It looks like it's beautiful outside I should go soak up some of that sunshine
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Icare dixit
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#16
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Family BBQ at our house today. Casual and low key, but being around people is intense for me. My goal is to stay stable throughout and return to my normal routine once it's over. I don't drink anymore, so that won't be an issue. I used to get completely wasted at things like this, and the resulting anxiety was unbearable. I have no off switch with alcohol.
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![]() Icare dixit
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#17
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My goal is to stick with my daily routine. I've been lethargic and putting off doing things for awhile, so I think this is helping me to be more focused and action oriented.
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![]() Icare dixit
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#18
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To stop itching. It's the only thing I care about right now.
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![]() Icare dixit
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#19
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cooked myself a roast and eat it.
and done it, so yay go me |
#20
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Finish the laundry and collapse into bed. Spent the day cleaning the rest of the house.
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#21
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Quote:
No. I'm really not trying to forget them! I just do. I wander around for awhile, wonder why I feel weird, and then OH YEAH! I just have been forgetting lately. Normally I'm quite good.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#22
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Alright, only goal met today is not freaking out at work, which is great, but I'm not really having an angry day today, so yea on that (it's been a more scared day).
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#23
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To get my hair done and I accomplished it. Took 4 hours but it's done...
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#24
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Alright I got really ****ing drunk but I sobered up enough to drive home so my goal is met. My goal for the rest of the night is to sleep well so I can go to another barbecue tomorrow. But I won't be drinking at that one!
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() raspberrytorte
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#25
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I hope you had fun wildflower!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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