[wellyguy24]

I experienced intense mania in 2013 that transitioned into psychosis, and was eventually sectioned under the mental health act for 6 weeks before being released. Immediately after that I was prescribed olanzapine/zyprexa that literally turned me into a zombie. I would sleep 16 hours a day (10pm-2pm), I developed social anxiety and avoided everyone, didn't log onto facebook/instagram for two years, my sex drive was zapped (I would only masturbate once or twice a week, and it was difficult to reach orgasm) and literally spent the 8 hours a day i had awake watching tv shows online. I also gained 15 kilograms (33 pounds). I was so detached and bored with life I was saving up sleeping pills so I could kill myself one day.

Three months ago I suddenly stopped taking my medication because I was tired of the weight gain and demotivation. Pleasantly I have lost 10 kilograms already. Instead of sleeping 16 hours a day, I began to sleep 8-9 hours. The past few weeks I have been sleeping less.

I was awake for 26 hours on thursday/friday last week. Last night I slept 5 hours and I have been awake for 18 hours so far (it's 4am here and i'm slightly tired now). I re-activated my social media. My sex drive has returned with a vengeance, I am able to orgasm up to 8 times a day (usually 4-6).

I am making plans to re-enter university in 2017. I find that small things now irritate me. I am slightly more confident due to the weight loss. I am slightly more social but still struggle with social anxiety and tend to avoid social situations. I do not have racing thoughts, but I have a lot more of them than when I was in my zombie state.

I am no longer bored, I feel slightly elated some days, there's always something to read, watch, jerk off to or someone to talk to to pass time. I much prefer being this way than being on medication. But will I spiral out of control over time like before?

[Gabyunbound]

It must be so freeing in so many ways to be off the meds, I definitely get it. I struggle very often with tossing them because of all of the side effects, so I just can't blame you there, it's perfectly understandable.

Unfortunately, though, what goes down, must eventually come up with BP, unmedicated, and it sounds like you're going up, though gradually. But because you're not in the stratosphere yet, you still have time to even things out.

Can you talk to your pdoc about taking a different medication than Zyprexa? Ask him/her about something that won't have at least most of those side effects? I think maybe that should be the next step, especially given what happened that put you on that med in the first place. I know it's hard to remember how awful it was when things are good (which they are now, in some ways?).

I admire how aware you are of your moods and what's going on with you generally, you seem to have a lot of insight. Best of luck to you!

[franz kafka]

Hard to say if you're entering an episode or not. Do you see a psychiatrist? Because there are drugs you can take that aren't Zyprexa. I take Seroquel and it hasn't affected my sleep or motivation, for example. Drugs work differently for different people.

[bizi]

yes I believe you are heading that way. Call your psych doctor to get on a different medication. You really don't want to have to go through all of that again.
good luck
bizi