If you didn't have BP, where would you be right now?

I actually wanted to go to medical school to study cardiology or anesthesiology, so I would probably be in my 4th year of medical school right about now and preparing to do some residency -- but alas...

I settled for engineering and computer software stuff. It's okay, but low stress.

Although sometimes I question whether I actually wanted to go to college at all. It was kind of a pain in the *** and my parents forced me to go.

I have absolutely no idea. Chances are, I would have finished college and gone on to have a more lucrative career possibly. I'm 41 years old and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. My main interest was always social service but I think it's because of my difficulties, not sure what I'd want without my issues.

[st0psign]

I could just be MORE and the NOTHING I am

[pirilin]

I was going to be a pilot for the Air Force. Then commercial, of course.
They didn't take me because a Cubanito took a plane from Gitmo to bombard Havana.
I couldn't even be near a plane. Not even wash it.
Nothing to do with mental illness. Just plain bad luck.
The rest is too long. Always living like an old man at twenty one.
Only regret is my friends went to Woodstock, and I stayed behind making money.
Which I lost gambling, and never went to The Concert.

[Wander]

Can I get rid of my CPTSD too? Not sure how much that effects my life outside BP. Anyway without BP I would be able to work in a productive, creative career like musician, photographer or writer, and would have finished a degree and some post graduate studies. As it is at 40 I am starting my third degree and I'm struggling already after first year. My relationships would be better too and my marriage would have been saved. Basically I would have a lot more stability, productivity and success.

[wildflowerchild25]

I don't think my life would be any different. I've been able to finish school and have a successful career (so far). I had a wonderful marriage. I have an awesome kid. I don't think BP has really held me back. Guess I'm lucky.

[BipolaRNurse]

I think I would have gone back to school for more education in nursing so I could have been a professor. I love to teach but lack the consistency to do anything for any length of time now. Thanks a lot, BP.

[JustJace2u]

I was planning to go to nursing or radiology school.

[nativechic]

Hard to think about. Had several manic episodes which led to having to leave original undergrad, leave two grad programs and get arrested by campus police when finishing up a third one. In an ok place now but a lot of lost time and pain I could have done without. Probably would have finished PhD and have been doing research and be peaking in my career but at least I have stable job now so can't complain much.

Probably right where I am. I haven't found my diagnosis has kept me from having what is really important in my life. I have a career, a family, hobbies, a home. Yes, I've had some horrid times with my mental health, but I've also come through those times so I feel very fortunate that way. I know many people without mental health issues who have had a much harder time maintaining their jobs or marriages, or who struggle daily with other kinds of very serious other issues in life, etc. This was my challenge, but I've kind of learned most people have their own challenges also and probably ask that same question: What would my life be like if . . .? I try not to "what if" my life.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Out of college with a degree in special education, living on my owm, and functioning better than I am now.

[BipolarMama31]

Interesting thoughts! I never imagined this before.

Hm.. if I never had my mental illness, I would probably be working at my same job that I left in February after my big crash. I'd definitely be with my husband and have our 2 kids.
I dont think my life would be that different, i think i would have a stronger sense of who i am as an individual and be able to find happiness and balance that with work in healthy ways.
I know for sure I'd have more energy, so I'd probably be more active like I was when i was younger.

I think i would still be strong willed and driven, but just more secure with myself.

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[1278]

I'd be in my 5th year of medical school, I had to leave last year in the middle of my 4th year and since I've been so sick and unstable, plus the stress of being a doctor is so immense, I don't see myself returning to finish my degree.

Working in a law office doing my lawyer thing. That would be good.

I'd probably still be married. Yuck. I'm glad I'm divorced from him. Trophy wives apparently don't get bipolar disorder. lol

[12AM]

I couldn't imagine, I cannot even say the word "if" anymore.. But maybe in psychiatric hospital as doctor and not patient

[1278]

Originally Posted by 12PM

I couldn't imagine, I cannot even say the word "if" anymore.. But maybe in psychiatric hospital as doctor and not patient

So true, I was actually seriously considering specializing in psychiatry and even spoke to the head of the department about it. How ironic!

Originally Posted by 1278

So true, I was actually seriously considering specializing in psychiatry and even spoke to the head of the department about it. How ironic!

I have a degree in psychology and it fascinates me. I had no clue it would be so relevant to me, however. Ugh.

[Nammu]

Would have graduated, be productively employed and have stuff- like a house, a newer car, and a better computer and Internet. Strangely enough I'd probably be in greater debt cause I'd have better credit to use credit cards and get loans.

[fairydustgirl]

Probably still married, teaching elementary school, which I had gone to school for but had my breakdown in my first semester of student teaching. Going on great vacations, living in my big house with my dog. And putting up with my controlling exhusband, the way I did the previous 20 years before I became ill.

I don't really go there. Mainly because there's no way to actually know. Sure, most would concede that, but how much time have we/do we nonetheless make ourselves miserable pining after a figment of our imagination?

That said, I'd probably have graduated from university and had a 4 year degree. Seeing how many times I changed my major, I couldn't even tell you what field that would have led to(!!!) Lol.

It'd have been different. Different situation. Which is all I can say for sure.

Without sza and ptsd I'd be in my junior year of undergrad for a BA in math. I would have friends and family. I would be able to trust people, and I would be able to handle taking more than one class at a time without going manic, mixed, or depressed. I wouldn't be able to say I've spent half a year in hospitals, and my skin wouldn't be scarred to ****. My veins wouldn't have as much scar tissue as they do now from all the blood work I've had due to being on clozapine. I would be able to stay awake for more than 10 hours a day and I would be able to sleep without taking heavy duty medications.
I imagine it would be a life much better than this ****.