[Bipolarchic14]

Has anyone ever felt so angry they were suicidal from it?

I know this is dumb question but I became so over the top angry at work today that I left early. Right now I feel like I would rather die then go back there. I know it is so irrational but I am so pissed I am having trouble coming down. I was just wondering does anyone else get this way?

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Has anyone ever felt so angry they were suicidal from it?

I know this is dumb question but I became so over the top angry at work today that I left early. Right now I feel like I would rather die then go back there. I know it is so irrational but I am so pissed I am having trouble coming down. I was just wondering does anyone else get this way?

I am so sorry you are feeling this infuriation. It is so hard to handle. Maybe take a long shower or warm bath. Try breathing exercises or mindfulness. Look up meditations on youtube. Try calling a friend and venting but then talk about something completely off of the subject. I know it's hard.

My anger, for the most, is one of the only things kept at bay by meds.

Prior to medication, I would get this unbalanced anger when I was manic and I would lose my mind. I once SCREAMED and threw things because my husband went to the wrong grocery store. Another time I became so upset with my children that I went to the basement and banged my head against the wall. So, to an extent, I understand. I hope you are able to find some relief.

[Scribbles22]

Totally. I'm bipolar I. When I work, manual labor jobs, the only way I keep up with others, is full speed ahead. I push most thoughts from my head and all that's really left is all the angry, suicidal feelings swirling around. When I'm done for the day the suicidal thoughts mainly go away, but I'm a twitchy shell of a person for the rest of the day. I can't work full time. Right now, I don't work at all. I started taking Ativan at work, but in the long term has caused me 10x the grief the agitation caused me.

I don't get angry too often,but when I do, it's one of the worst emotions to cope and deal with. I've gotten so angry I've been suicidal on a few occasions. It's a horrible place to be and I'm so sorry you are experiencing this right now. Try doing something nice for yourself. Like Cashart mentioned, A long warm shower might help. I am sooooo sorry you are dealing with such feelings right now. Are you safe?

[Bipolarchic14]

A friend of mine asked me to go to a movie and dinner. That helped some. I have so much trouble coming down and my father of course had to use generalizations. everybody gets angry sometimes. That just made me want to take a chair and chuck it at him.

I'm glad you are doing better.

I don't get angry often and I don't really know how to cope with it. I usually burst into tears when I'm angry. Ugh.

[p00dlez]

I used to have bad anger issues but I think the right combo of meds have taken most of it away. I used to get so mad I would ruminate over whatever was done to me and just get even more angry.

Now I still get angry but at a much less degree. I think its what you would call normal anger. I got angry the other day when they blew one of my veins at the drs office but you would have never know I was even angry. I didn't say a word except to my husband and a post on here. (Btw my husband was angry about that too and he isn't bipolar.)

Pretty much we talked about it in the car, agreed it was time for a dr change. Found a new dr and that was the end of it. I didn't blow up or do much of anything. I credit it to the meds.

Maybe talk to your pdoc and see if a med change will help. I know it helped me.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

I'm glad you are doing better.

I don't get angry often and I don't really know how to cope with it. I usually burst into tears when I'm angry. Ugh.

It's really funny you mention this. The day after the movie I went to work. I started sobbing in the car. I was talking to my brother on the phone. Finally I got it under control. I went inside and my manager asked how I was doing. Wrong question!! I started sobbing again. It took 30 min in the back office with my manager to calm me down. It was so embarrassing.

Yeah my anger used to turn into sobbing. I can relate to that.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I'm in a mixed state right now accompanied by times of rage. I've been like this for about a couple weeks right now and I can't take another day. I have a pdoc appointment on Monday thank god though. And if she doesn't listen to me this time and address my rage, I will probably flip her desk (jk) and move on to the next crappy pdoc they have for me.

-trigger- I did get so bad I self harmed last week-trigger-


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[Standup2me]

I've been so angry that I've been homicidal. Once I acted on it, in that I got out of my car and came at the other driver with a weapon...and was fortunate that the person sped away.

Now, when I ever get that angry, I have to leave wherever I am. Just walk away. Once I even told my boss that I was so angry at him that I was going to home because I didn't want to do or say anything I would regret

[OctobersBlackRose]

Yeah I've been there, and it usually led to a lot of fights with my family, I would yell scream, bang my head on walls throw things etc. Now that I'm on meds, it has evened me out to the point that I don't do those this as often or not at all anymore. I still get angry, but instead of it being at an 11 it is now at a 5 or 6.

[Wander]

Meds have also calmed my anger to a manageable place. In the past I have thrown things at people, ran my head into a palm tree, driven very recklessly in anger and rage and yelled and screamed at my (ex) husband over petty things. I was wild and out of control a lot of the time. Many times it led to me being suicidal directly after my explosion. It was scary and destructive.

Lithium seemed to calm me down as do some anti-psychotics and benzodiazepines (be careful with those as they are addictive and can sometimes have the reverse effect by making you more out of control). I hope you can find some peace soon as I know how hard it is to live like that.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Has anyone ever felt so angry they were suicidal from it?

Homicidal, sure. But suicidal? Not exactly. I've been so angry I was self-destructive without being actively suicidal. In other words, I'd get mad and do stupid **** like gambling with money I couldn't afford, just to punish myself. Or I would binge eat.

The anger pretty much went away after my ADD was treated.