Well, it's official. I've lost all my real-life friends due to BP. Have you lost friends due to BP?

When I'm depressed, I don't want to hang out with anyone. I just want to be by myself... However, my friends interpret it as not wanting to hang out with them anymore.

When I'm hypo/manic, I can become annoying because I'm VERY chatty. I also do lots of crazy things uncharacteristic of myself, like drive recklessly with them in the car and weird things like that.

Anyway, my only friend stopped talking to me about a month ago. I asked if she wanted to hang out (I said, "we should hang out again"), but she ignored it and continued to say other things. Then when I asked her again 2 hours later, she ignored it and said other things.

This was all a month ago and we haven't chatted since. I basically chose not to continue talking to her because she ignored me when I wanted to hang out, so I figure she's not interested in a friendship with me.

I'm content with being by myself, although it would have been nice to have at least *one* friend. But it's okay. I've learned not to let my happiness be dictated by other people.

[Ripose]

It's been a very long time since I had even one friend and both my family and my wife's family want nothing to do with me. I know I'm weird but you'd think out of all the people that I no longer want in my life that at least a few would have tried to understand what I am really like and why I say and do the things I do.
My wife is now officially the only friend in my life and pretty well the only one I even talk to now. But I am content with the way things are, so I don't suffer too much as a result of my BP.

[Trippin2.0]

I'm a bit confused...


She carried on chatting when you mentioned hanging out?


Chatting about what?


My confusion is based on the fact that there was communication, but since the communication didn't lead to making plans, thAt is what lead to the end of the friendship.

Not that she stopped communicating with you... Which is sort of what I expected when opening your thread...


Because she was still your friend up until that point right? I mean you guys were having a conversation....


Anyway, I think I'm confusing myself now...


I haven't lost anyone due to this illness, thank God people in my life accept me as I am.


I can never wrap my head around posts like these where people just give up or fade away because you were depressed or whatever... Like people are so expendable.

I used to lose friends often. Not because we fought, or broke up, but other reasons. I lost some due to depression...especially in my youth. I would get depressed and pull away.......eventually people would stop calling to ask me to hang out...and I would figure they hated me and didn't want to see me so things would drift away. I would also get paranoid about people, so I would pull away....or I would be manic/elevated and be too much for people and they would pull away. I never blamed anyone for leaving, it just was a natural consequence it seemed.

my paranoia/delusions is probably the biggest culprit. The past 3 years I had LONG manic and depressive episodes. My paranoia had me isolating and pushing everyone away. I even thought my mom and husband were out to get me and started worrying about my oldest son being in on it when he called the cops on me for being manic. The only good news is I've finally accepted my paranoia and can see through my distorted thinking. That is a HUGE step forward for me.

I'm sorry your friend ignored you when you asked to hang out again. If you are sure she was ignoring you on purpose (are you sure?) then I completely understand not wanting to keep a friendship. I won't be "begging" people to be my friend and if they make it clear they don't want to be, I'd set them free for their own sake. Just make sure you read it correctly....losing a good friend is tragic.

[melmyers1107]

I use to have a ton of friends, was voted class favorite, best to have class with, prom court, homecoming court, etc. now i have no cell phone my husband and some of my family members are good to me and still genuinely care. the other friends and family it feels like they just feel sorry for me bc i am ill. i dont like fake.

@ElsaMars, @Trippin

The conversation felt forced. I was the one who approached her to begin with.

I know she is the kind of person who doesn't like to make people feel bad, so she'll engage in a forced conversation for a little bit instead of outright ignoring it... Then after a while she'll ignore and pretend she never got your text message. (She used to do this with other people.)

Most likely I said something that upset or annoyed her, but she didn't want to say it. (Most people don't.) So I've kind of given up.

[Wander]

I lost my husband and several friends due to BP and PTSD. Now I feel very lonely and grieved over the loss. Slowly I am trying to rebuild my life and make new friends but it is really hard as I get ill so often. Every day I long for my husband but he is with someone else hoping to get married. I wish I could change so much but I cannot dwell on the past. It would break me.

I hope you find peace within yourself blue. You deserve it. You also deserve to have friends. You are a fantastic person.

[boogiesmash]

I've lost many friends over the years. Long before I was diagnosed and I do believe how my behavior was s result of it. Now I hold dear my close friends that I have left and family.

[Wild Coyote]

I am very saddened and sorry people feel "alone" or without friendship.

I do understand. I was always very athletic, very popular and chosen for many positions in all grades of school, including appointments through my college years. The same for my career.

I then became suddenly very ill with CFS/CFIDS/ME and fibromyalgia. The severity of the pain and fatigue resulted in medical disability. I could no longer keep up with my social life, it was also the mid-80s and most people treated me like they did AIDS patients then, suspecting I (and others suffering ME) truly had AIDS. Some people were afraid to shake my hand or be around me. I kept a small circle of friends.

In time, due to the extreme physical pain and fatigue, I became more isolated. Despite invites, many would not stop in to see me, still afraid I had some form of AIDS. It was a time when there was a lot of ignorance about how AIDS was transmitted. I did not have AIDS, yet was treated as if I did have it. It made me very sad for those suffering HIV or AIDS. I could identify with their isolation.

Over time, I started with profound depressions due to all of this. I also had a history of trauma, which had only just begun. MDD and PTSD became apparent for over 20 years. Then, after a TBI (head injury, as shared in another thread), I started to show more overt PTSD and also bipolar illness.

I love people very much and have a great deal of compassion for others (and myself). Many people meet me and want to be friends. Me, too!

I am in chronic severe neuropathic pain. I truly have all I can do to keep up my marriage, help my elderly mother, and pursue a few interests.

I can carry on friendships without them being demanding in nature. It takes a lot of flexibility and understanding. I have many acquaintances and a couple of closer friends.

My husband has been my very best friend through everything. I give him high priority; my marriage comes first. We love doing activities together. We ground one another, encourage one another. I often have all I can do to be Present for/with him as we participate in various common interest activities. I am often exhausted after we have gone out for the day/afternoon. We have always had so much fun together!

People I know without chronic conditions all say they feel lucky if they have 1 or 2 good friends. All things considered, we may not truly falling behind in real/true friendships. We may be falling short in the realm of "acquaintances?"

Love and Support to ALL,
WC

P.S. My family has been very dysfunctional. Lots of untreated severe alcoholism and MI. Lots of jealousies/hostilities/competitive behaviors. They have not had the ability to be supportive. I am the only family member having sought treatment -- therapy and/or meds. I love them dearly and try to stay in touch. It's a one-way street though.

[Wild Coyote]

Blue, you are young and likely still changing a lot. I feel like you attract friends, even here on the forum.

You will eventually find friends with whom you more deeply resonate and will likely form some life-long friendships!


WC

[GoldenSnitch]

I'm sorry that people are being less than supportive blue. ((Hugs))

I have always had issues making real friends but the few that I did have are gone now. My closest friend has not once asked me how I'm doing after I told her about my bipolar (and she knew for years that I've had mental health struggles). I reached out to her every day when she was sick with a cold and when her mother in law passed away and she couldn't bother to send me one lousy text so I just cut her from my life. I don't need people who don't care about me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Unrigged64072835]

I find it hard to make friends because of the anxiety, but I'm sure I'm not that much better at it when I'm depressed. I'm missing a friend's birthday party because she has a lot of other friends and I'm just not good at handling lots of people. I should contact her and go out to lunch or something, but I'm afraid of leaving my house even with my husband in tow. These illnesses suck. All I can do is talk to her through Facebook. I think it's also hard because we don't have a whole lot in common (we met through our kids' activities).

Anyway, I'm sorry that you're having a hard time, but you're not alone.