[BigMac51]

Hello All,

I have been reading the forums for some time now, but just recently made an account to start posting. I was recently diagnosed with BP I (within the year) and am having the hardest time accepting it. I guess my gut knows something is wrong with me, it is evident in the 4 hospitalizations over the past year, but I absolutely hate the idea of taking medication. I will usually take the medicine for a minute, until I feel better, and then quit and end up becoming euphoric or severely depressed. What also bothers me is the fact that no medication has truly relieved my symptoms; I consistently struggle with SI, racing thoughts, and often voices. I also have a hard time communicating with my providers as I have this idea that they are secretly judging me or planning to institutionalize me. This often creates a scenario where my doctor is unaware of what truly is going on with me. My question is, is there ever really a relief from symptoms or is this a consistent struggle for the remainder of my life?

Sorry if this post is all over the place, just my thoughts are everywhere.

Thanks for reading...

BigMac

[Daonnachd]

Heya, BigMac. Welcome to the forum.

Is there relief? I believe it is possible through meds and work with a therapist.

Is it a struggle that will be with us for the rest of our lives? Yes, but this is where a therapist can help you learn how to manage and cope.

[Victoria'smom]

Are you against injectable medication? It's usually a shot once every 3-4 weeks. My injection stops my racing thoughts and voices, lessened my paranoia to a mostly manageable amount. You have to be completely and painfully honest with your treatment team. There's relief but not 100% for most.

[pirilin]

Welcome. There is no medicine that can put you in a rose garden. Druggies find that out the hard way.
There are a few medicines that will make life real. With all it's faults and all it's glories.

[Wander]

Welcome BigMac! Sorry to hear your struggling. In my experience medication can help but only to a point. After that therapy can be crucial to stabilising. It is an illness most of us will have to deal with to some degree for the rest of our lives but it doesn't have to control our lives and being in treatment can make it easier to deal with. Going off and on meds all the time is certainly going to make things worse though. Keep posting here. We are here to support you.

[MusicLover82]

It's a struggle to find the right medication, but when your pdoc finds it, there can be quite a lot of relief. It's worth the struggle. Hang in there. See your psychiatrist and be honest about your symptoms. It can and will get better.

[JustJace2u]

I too am struggling and have been thinking about this for at least the past few days in terms of my being fully honest and/or open with my pdoc and therapist. I've always been the shy and quiet type so I've just chalked it up to that. I really do need to work on this though if I ever want to see any improvement in my life. As far as I know, having worked in and studied healthcare and mental illness, there isn't a full-blown cure, but if we can be honest and open then it should at the very least be manageable.

[raspberrytorte]

I'm sorry about being negative, but I don't think we'll ever have any sort of relief. With the exception of my seven year remission (yes. seven years!), I've been feeling pretty consistently awful for the last four years, only gotten worse over this past year and a half.

However...I believe extended remission periods can happen for everyone.

[Unrigged64072835]

Welcome to PC.

I don't think anybody LIKES taking medication; it's just something we do. The symptoms may lessen enough so it's manageable with therapy and plain old grit. It all depends on how well the body reacts to the medication.

I have found that since my diagnosis my world is irreversibly altered. However, I'm still working on having good days again with the proper medication and therapy. It can feel like a crap shoot at times.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I'm sorry about being negative, but I don't think we'll ever have any sort of relief. With the exception of my seven year remission (yes. seven years!), I've been feeling pretty consistently awful for the last four years, only gotten worse over this past year and a half.

However...I believe extended remission periods can happen for everyone.

---- Can you duplicate what was going on during your period of remission?
I do a billion times better when I have a routine like work and don't take big risks in my personal life. I'm not working so I'm all over the place.

[Incubus]

Welcome.

I had a hard accepting it to when i was diagnosed with BP. I also didnt want to take meds my whole life either. Then i realized i need them. Both my docs ( therapist and psych) told me that i will feel much better with them.

Dont let the meds scare you. They will help you I promise. It does take time and you will adjust to them. Need to keep at it.

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