[Wild Coyote]

The law of gravity is a well-known law.

At certain altitudes, what goes up, must come down. Hopefully, it comes down with ease, with grace and under some kind of control.

I am trying to figure out just how to share what I am going through.

You see, I lost several family members in a plane crash, many years ago now.
One adult taking three children on a trip. Everyone was so excited. I was supposed to go, too, yet backed out at the last moment (for some reason).

It's been many years and still -- I remember details of the whole nightmarish event, at least annually, at anniversary time.

It's anniversary time.

My primary psych diagnosis is C-PTSD, which I have lived with for, seemingly, a lifetime. This event was one of the saddest days of my life. Then there's the rest of the story, secondary psych diagnoses -- and lots of primary co-occurring autoimmune and/or other conditions which involve severe chronic pain (with notable nerve/tissue damage).

I am not sure of where to post. Yet, this is the sub-forum in which I am most active and I feel like many of my contacts are also active in this forum, so I hope it's okay to post this here.

I have been doing better for a couple of weeks, after a rather nasty mixed episode. Yet, I have been getting very depressed again this past week as memories surface. It's an annual event, this anniversary stuff. Some years are better than others.

This year is not the best, nor the worst. I am feeling it, for sure.
I am having a hard time just sharing this much today.

Please remember we are never guaranteed to see our loved ones again, we may never know when it's the last time we see them. Show your love to those you love, as often as possible.

May we help to heal one another's hearts.

My love and gratitude to each of you.



Wild Coyote

[Yours_Truly]

Just wanted to let you know I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you are feeling better soon.

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry to know you have gone through that. It's usually hard around anniversaries like that to stay focused and be on the bright side of things.

Even though I'm happily married now I still remember my second husband's suicide and all that went down with it. It's been over twenty years and it still pops up. Yes, be grateful and give everyone a little extra love.

[Wild Coyote]

It's been so many years there was not an "internet" available to the general public.

Each year, I look on the net to see what's around for information on the crash. Each year is different. There's an increasing amount of info added each year.

I just accidentally clicked upon a photo gallery, when I thought I was clicking on a link to the remainder of an article.

WHY?

Why must they show all kinds of photos?

I don't even want to talk/write about the types of photos I saw today. I am concerned about hurting someone else.

Do they have any idea of what it's like for families?
I was a child when the headlines were all about this, at first coverage was 24/7, with ongoing footage and photos. It was the largest plane tragedy to date at the time it had happened, so it was big news. Yet, what about the families?

I am definitely not naïve about it all. I have, in the past, talked with rescue workers and with family members of (deceased) rescue workers. I have read a lot about all of it, including legal briefs. My best friend is an FAA licensed jet inspector.

WHY all kinds of photos then and ... WHY now, this many years later, as well?
Some of those photos are just not necessary in order to document the event properly/fully.

I am not advocating for ignorance.
I am advocating for compassion for families/survivors of these tragic events.

I am at a loss for words right now, sorry.



WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Yours_Truly

Just wanted to let you know I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Thank You!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

So sorry to know you have gone through that. It's usually hard around anniversaries like that to stay focused and be on the bright side of things.

Even though I'm happily married now I still remember my second husband's suicide and all that went down with it. It's been over twenty years and it still pops up. Yes, be grateful and give everyone a little extra love.

Thank you!
I do understand.

My dad's suicide was just a couple of years prior to this tragedy. I almost never forget the suicide tragedy, year round, it's in the back of my mind, coming up at seemingly odd times.

Hugs to you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, WC.
Anniversaries can be so hard. Do you feel that the looking for new information is therapeutic for you? (I can't say I wouldn't do this too, but I'd also wonder if it might be poking a bear with a stick.) Are you seeing a therapist? (Sorry if I've missed that elsewhere.)

It is important to treasure our loved ones while we may. Thank you for that reminder.

May you come through this time as smoothly as possible. Be gentle with yourself. Sending much

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I lost family members during 9/11 because they were working in the World Trade Center when the 2 planes hit. I agree that seeing pictures of tragedies like this are very upsetting and triggering.

While I can understand the 9/11 pictures, I can't understand why the media insists on posting images of horrific tragedies like the one you described. It's more hurtful than it is helpful. In fact, I would argue that it's really not helpful at all.

I hope you're able to pull through this anniversary okay. I can only imagine how terrible it must have been.

But, I find it really helps to reminisce about the happy times... Remember all the good times you had together. It sounds like you're doing that right now, which is awesome. It distracts from all the negative thoughts.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I'm so sorry you are going through this, WC.
Anniversaries can be so hard. Do you feel that the looking for new information is therapeutic for you? (I can't say I wouldn't do this too, but I'd also wonder if it might be poking a bear with a stick.) Are you seeing a therapist? (Sorry if I've missed that elsewhere.)

It is important to treasure our loved ones while we may. Thank you for that reminder.

May you come through this time as smoothly as possible. Be gentle with yourself. Sending much

Hi Innerzone,

Great questions! Thanks!

I have asked myself if its a good idea. I feel torn about this. I have talked with others and there is a common sense of duty amongst many of us to know that the history of this loss/traumatic incident is properly remembered. It's definitely an eye-opener about the media's need to continue on about details. Some of us have written previous letters to the new agencies posting additional detailed photos, asking them to use a lot of discretion in choosing photos and to consider the survivors when they do so.

Just this afternoon, the exposure to the gallery of photos had first made me very sad and I also felt some rage at the media.

However, within a couple of hours, I felt an incredible amount of compassion for myself, as a child, having seen all of those same pictures first hand, over and over again as a child. I now better understand what it was like for me then and I had little to no healthy "coping tools" then. I simply had to leave the house if I did not want to hear/see the ongoing coverage.

I am thankful to have many more coping strategies in my repertoire now.

Yes, I do see a therapist on a regular basis. He knows this is the "anniversary time." We have just talked about this. I have been processing this with friends today.

I've gained some added insight and some added self-compassion this afternoon. I believe things continue to come up for resolution and we do our best, at any given time, to face and to learn whatever we can learn, fear so often obstructing the process. I feel very fortunate to be able to turn this around some into learning more today about how this event has affected me then and has affected me since.

Lots of Love and Gratitude,

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I lost family members during 9/11 because they were working in the World Trade Center when the 2 planes hit. I agree that seeing pictures of tragedies like this are very upsetting and triggering.

While I can understand the 9/11 pictures, I can't understand why the media insists on posting images of horrific tragedies like the one you described. It's more hurtful than it is helpful. In fact, I would argue that it's really not helpful at all.

I hope you're able to pull through this anniversary okay. I can only imagine how terrible it must have been.

But, I find it really helps to reminisce about the happy times... Remember all the good times you had together. It sounds like you're doing that right now, which is awesome. It distracts from all the negative thoughts.

Thanks, Blue!

I am so sorry for the loss of your family in 9/11.

I agree with you -- why keep adding very graphic pictures (of the morgue and otherwise) at all? Why keep adding these pictures over 30+ years later?

As I have mentioned above, my initial upset with seeing these has led to more compassion for myself, for what I, and others, went through. I recall seeing these same images as a child, over and over and over again.

The increased understanding of the severity of the effects is important to my self-understanding, my self-acceptance for feeling so very traumatized.

It's all "healing!"

Thanks so much, Blue!
I hope you are enjoying your trip!


WC