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#1
Jul 29, 2016, 11:22 PM
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So... after messing up my life after this last episode and losing pretty much everything, I'm stuck living with my parents.
My parents are nice (as long as they're not drunk). They're being very good to me. And it's VERY generous for them to let me live here. But they live way out in the middle of nowhere and I don't have a car, so if I want to go into town I have to get a ride (and I want to go into town ALL OF THE TIME). It's a long drive. Pushing thirty minutes. So I can't just go into town whenever I want. I feel so stuck and cooped up here!!! I'm going mad! And I love my mom, but she harasses me about things. Like eating and smoking and sugar and energy beverages. I don't eat enough evidently, I do too much of those last three things. The planned separation of my husband and I is six months. Right now he and my daughter live five hours away, by his parents. My friends are weird about me right now, so they're not going to be helping. What can I do?! I'm stuck!!! I can't handle the thought of being stuck here for six months, being lectured at about food and how I drink energy beverages and need to believe in the lord and not be able to drop sixty f-bombs if I want (I did that yesterday in front of my mom.... oh she was pissed). I don't have a job right now. Because that went with everything else. I don't have a car as previously stated. I can't stand this! Advice?
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
 Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Coffeee, Yours_Truly
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#2
Jul 29, 2016, 11:33 PM
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Do you feel stable enough and have your doctor's or T's approval to try to find a new job? That would be the first thing I would try (if you can get a ride to work, of course).
Secondly, maybe you could start a new hobby and really immerse yourself in it. Are you exercising? Maybe you could start a good exercise regime with aerobics videos or other exercises you can do at home. I'm really motivated to exercise by having a Fitbit. I compete against friends and friends of friends to get the most steps per day. Do you like to read? Maybe find some new books to delve into. Or how about art or music? Or writing/journaling? Creative outlets are awesome. I hope you find something that helps you. 
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...Out of night and alarm Out of terrible dreams Reach me your hand! This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep: The white peace of the waking. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~ Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart  Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN |
 raspberrytorte
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#3
Jul 29, 2016, 11:38 PM
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Why aren't you with your husband and daughter?
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#4
Jul 29, 2016, 11:42 PM
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Because I impulsively OD'd when I was alone with my daughter, and now my husband doesn't trust me being alone with her and wants me to be one hundred percent stable before I can join them... five hours away by his parents.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#5
Jul 29, 2016, 11:43 PM
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And I was acting like a complete lunatic for three months prior to that, and he doesn't want her to be exposed to that.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#6
Jul 29, 2016, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
I have been exercising yes, since I'm not working and my job was very physically demanding, and I don't want to get flabby. I haven't been the past couple of days because I've been depressed. Still cycling! Yea! Now I can act like a complete lunatic while I'm with my parents and they can kick me out. Sorry. I'm cynical right now. But, anyway, thanks. 
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#7
Jul 29, 2016, 11:46 PM
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Oh, and I've been exercising because my mom is trying to fatten me up! With all of this eating I'm probably going to gain twenty pounds.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#8
Jul 29, 2016, 11:46 PM
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That sounds massively hard! Try avoiding your mom as much as possible, listen to your own music with head phones so you can't hear them and go on long walks to get out of the house. Maybe get a bicycle if possible?
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| raspberrytorte
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#9
Jul 29, 2016, 11:47 PM
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Oh, well I bet if you stay on meds, maybe not the ones you're on now, but meds, you will stabilize before six months.
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| raspberrytorte
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#10
Jul 29, 2016, 11:58 PM
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Quote:
I'm terrified that won't happen and I'll be stuck here FOREVER!!!! (Well, not forever, lol)
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Anonymous41403
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#11
Jul 30, 2016, 03:02 AM
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Quote:
If you don't mind me asking, is restricting food a coping mechanism for you. I'm not judging. It is one of my coping mechanisms and problems. A paradox. Do you have an official case plan through dependency court? Or is it a 6-month court order from a family law/domestic judge? No need to answer if that's too personal. I ask because there is quite a difference. It's critical to follow your case plan if you have one.
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| raspberrytorte
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| raspberrytorte
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#12
Jul 30, 2016, 09:38 AM
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Quote:
My court order is through the county. It's because I OD'd twice in one year. It doesn't have anything to do with my daughter.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#13
Jul 30, 2016, 09:46 AM
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Coffeee's suggestion of long walks is a good one. The exercise, the vitamin D, the solitude, the time to think, would probably all be beneficial elements for you as you simultaneously get some time away from your mother.
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| raspberrytorte
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#14
Jul 30, 2016, 10:18 AM
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If you can get a bike. Take up painting or something like that. Can you create a small garden?
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#15
Jul 30, 2016, 12:12 PM
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I think I'm going to buy a bunch of books and read away the next six months.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#16
Jul 30, 2016, 12:13 PM
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Or at my appointment with the new pdoc ask for a sleeping med (even if I'm not having any trouble sleeping), and sleep away the next six months.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#17
Jul 30, 2016, 12:39 PM
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Sorry you are stuck ras. Exercise is a good idea. You can become like super strong torte de raspberry or get a bike and qualify for the next Tour de France. But seriously exercise is a good idea and if you got any trails bike is good for scenery. But imagine if you can out lift other dudes at the gym?
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Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
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#18
Jul 30, 2016, 01:27 PM
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Thanks, boogie.
I have been taking walks, doing laps in the basement, lifting weights, doing push ups and sit ups. Just overall doing things so I don't become fat and flabby while being stuck her.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| boogiesmash
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#19
Jul 30, 2016, 02:11 PM
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Thanks everyone for the advice.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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