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#1
Aug 07, 2016, 08:51 AM
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I'm a ****ing idiot for not taking my medication yesterday but today I realized the real reason I did it was because my Lithium was seriously making me eat wayyyy more than I usually would allow myself to do. Even yesterday I spent the half of the day chastizing myself for eating more, snacking. I just feel...disgusted with myself. Is this feeling from just my eating disorder or are the feelings of worthlessness just another symptom of bipolar? I'm so scared to weigh myself because if it's a number that I don't like I don't know what I'm going to do to myself. I've already self-harmed which I haven't done steadily for two months. Don't tell me you told me so, I already know.
 I figured it wouldn't make a difference because I was already feeling horrible yesterday anyways.
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 Anxiousvalkyrie, OctobersBlackRose, Pikku Myy, Victoria'smom
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#2
Aug 07, 2016, 12:22 PM
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Hugs. I know exactly how you feel. I've battled anorexia in my past and suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder in addition to My BPD. I've gained a decent amount of weight in the last 6 months and I feel horrible about myself. Sometimes I'll get dressed and do makeup and all of that and then still feel so horrible that I can't leave the house. I know that's due to the BDD and not he bipolar but it's still a super hard thing to deal with. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I don't. Just know you're not alone.
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Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
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#3
Aug 07, 2016, 01:03 PM
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There are weight neutral medications that you should have tried first. Does your psychiatrist and therapist know you have an eating disorder? If not you have to tell them as it greatly effects the medication you should/shouldn't take. I'm on abilify to keep the ED voices calm. you need to calm your ED before taking certain medications. Please don't weight yourself as your ED and self harm can spiral out of control. I would honestly tell your psychiatrist that all these things are preventing you from taking the medication and getting healthy.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#4
Aug 07, 2016, 02:01 PM
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I'm bindge eater. I think I'm bulimic as I purge. I'm emotional eater. Noone has ever diagnosed me. I have told my pdoc about this, he has never commented. I have addressed some in the therapy, but now I'm done with therapy and left on my own. Reading self-help books on CBT for dieting and having normal eating patterns even when my emotions spiral out of control. I hope I can hold to this.
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#5
Aug 07, 2016, 09:23 PM
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just wanna give you a hug. I know that ED feel. I'm terrified of meds that make you gain weight. hang in there!
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stay afraid, but do it anyway. |
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#6
Aug 07, 2016, 11:38 PM
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Just for me, never felt better than on lithium
 low doze. I have always had an issue with no eating when depressed. Hope you find a happy medium with the meds.
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