[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

So, I have been feeling off today - anxiety in my chest, distracted, unable to concentrate, drawn to watch stuff that prompts a sense of desperation...

And then, I came across a FB message about a guy who disappeared from his hotel room, where his wallet, cell phone, and all other identifying things were found. I got such an impulse to want to run away - leave everything that could track me behind. Not sure why - it feels like ideation. I can't get it out of my mind, even though I know I won't do it. And the hole in my chest feels like it's growing as a result.

[Skeezyks]

Hello NoIdeaWhatToDo: The Skeezyks gets that urge sometimes. We have a small dog I take for daily walks. Sometimes, I'll take him out late at night. Walking along under the street lights, past closed shops, & with no one else around, I will often feel the urge to tie the dog's leash to a tree or a sign post & simply walk away into the darkness never to be seen or heard from again. I don't have any intention of doing it. But the thought of it is delicious...

[LucyG]

What you're experiencing sounds like some sort of anxiety type attack. What meds are you on? A lot of psych meds have both depression and anxiety as a side-effect. If you don't believe me, google your meds with the term 'side-effects, anxiety, depression' and see what you come up with.

[mindwrench]

I find the tight chest symptom of anxiety really gets to me when it happens. I once got in my car on a Friday night to go for a drive, and just kept driving. I drove till the sun came up and went exploring the area, which happened to be Colorado. I wondered around out there for several days, it was very exciting to leave town on a whim. I went back home and quit my job, and went into a dark period.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

Thanks, everyone. The feeling has passed for now. I kept to my afternoon routine, mostly - a few changes in our norm for appointments. I've been feeling off like this during the day most days; I can't tell if it's related to my work specifically (it's often during that quiet time while I'm 'working' after the kids are off to school), or if it's circadian, or if it's simply that I'm distracted by the chaos of our routine in the afternoons.

LucyG, I am actually not on RX meds. I have some supplements I take that help me keep mostly in check for now. I prefer knowing my episodes are from me, rather than wondering how I would be doing (better? worse? just the same?) with the meds or, as in the case of some I've been on, KNOWING I'm worse on the meds. I am open-minded to RX meds again the minute my symptoms become too much to manage without.