What is the most difficult part of BP for you?

Not being able to plan because I cancel when I'm feeling depressed. Never knowing how long stability lasts. Crying in public-so embarrassing. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Side effects from medication that make me tired and listless all the time. Side effects from meds in general.

The total unpredictability is the worst for me.

I cycle really quickly, which means that I never know how I'm going to wake up and if I'll be able to leave the house that day. I can't make solid commitments. My responsibilities at church are all able to be done via text and happen only a couple times a month because that's all I can commit to.

I HATE that due to the unpredictability my life is not my own. I feel so powerless because I AM powerless over the cycling, over the constantly shifting abilities and moods.

For me the most difficult part is the depression that feels like it`s never going to go away.It`s the emptiness and hopelessness I feel when it gets really bad.

irritability can be the most frustrating. not the most debilitating, but the most frustrating and sometimes the most frequent (often without good reason or even a present strong mixed episode). paranoia is up there, too.

The rage, baby... the blinding, all-consuming rage that demands that you hit back hard and lets you understand how war crimes happen.