[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I saw the psychologist at the bipolar clinic today. This was the last step in getting my diagnosis on my records and they diagnosed me Bipolar I, ADHD and Borderline Personality. I'm quite shocked at the last one. They said my paranoia and outbursts of anger and mood swings are what led them to the borderline diagnosis. To be honest I was more concerned they'd diagnose me with schizoaffective. I'm on Zyprexa currently and it's working well for the paranoia and anxiety. I go back in a couple of weeks to discuss further medication. I don't know how I feel about all this. I've cried a lot since I left. I feel really really s****y right now.

[Nammu]

Always a bit daunting when they settle on a diagnosis, especially if it's an unexpected one.

[hopeless2015]

I struggled when first diagnosed as well but now you can work on treating the symptoms and concentrate on that

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Well, at least you'll be getting the proper treatment now! That's a good thing

In my case, I always knew I had ADHD because I had concentration issues my whole life, but I was PISSED when they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I refused to believe it for like 5 months. Then I got mad when they said I had severe ADHD because I felt like it was an insult to call it "severe".

So, it takes time to accept it, but you will accept it eventually! Your initial feelings will calm down over time. I know mine did

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I think the worst thing I'm dealing with right now is two out of the three people I've told (my mom and my best friend) had an immediate reaction of 'oh you don't have borderline personality disorder, they're wrong, they've misdiagnosed you' and it's really REALLY not helpful.

I have bipolar and traits of borderline and i'm having quite a nice life in circumstances of low-stress. I spend a lot of time alone with my dog and it's quite rewarding. Have you checked out the borderline forum here on PC? There's not a lot of traffic but it's pleasant to read. Borderlines are cool!

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by apfei

I have bipolar and traits of borderline and i'm having quite a nice life in circumstances of low-stress. I spend a lot of time alone with my dog and it's quite rewarding. Have you checked out the borderline forum here on PC? There's not a lot of traffic but it's pleasant to read. Borderlines are cool!

I haven't....but I will certainly check out that forum

[Unrigged64072835]

I have bipolar and borderline as well. I seem to be doing okay. I do hope your meds will work out.

[Wild Coyote]

((((( Anxious Valkyrie )))))

It's tough to accept any diagnosis. In time, I hope more can be explained to you. If any diagnosis continues to feel "in error," maybe seek a second opinion?


WC

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

((((( Anxious Valkyrie )))))

It's tough to accept any diagnosis. In time, I hope more can be explained to you. If any diagnosis continues to feel "in error," maybe seek a second opinion?


WC

I don't feel that my diagnosis is in error, but people around me do. Both my mom and my best friend said there's no way I could be borderline. They say they've never seen indications of symptoms in my behavior, but I've always worked very hard to hide my mental illness from everyone. Basically instead of supporting me they're saying my doctors are wrong.

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie

I saw the psychologist at the bipolar clinic today. This was the last step in getting my diagnosis on my records and they diagnosed me Bipolar I, ADHD and Borderline Personality. I'm quite shocked at the last one. They said my paranoia and outbursts of anger and mood swings are what led them to the borderline diagnosis. To be honest I was more concerned they'd diagnose me with schizoaffective. I'm on Zyprexa currently and it's working well for the paranoia and anxiety. I go back in a couple of weeks to discuss further medication. I don't know how I feel about all this. I've cried a lot since I left. I feel really really s****y right now.

I can relate to being shocked by a diagnosis...I felt the same way when I found out about PTSD. Right now I am trying to schedule appts so I can be evaluated for additional things which I think this time will hit me harder.

I guess just sitting with it for a while, is what worked for me., and not let it define you as a person. These descriptions and labels from a diagnosis are tools to help get to the right treatment plan. I remind myself that I am much more than a disorder & have a life to live. For example if I had a heart condition that would not be the totally of who I am. I am sry you feel s****y, the positive thing is you now can move fwd with a treatment plan. And moving fwd is what it ia all about

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie

I don't feel that my diagnosis is in error, but people around me do. Both my mom and my best friend said there's no way I could be borderline. They say they've never seen indications of symptoms in my behavior, but I've always worked very hard to hide my mental illness from everyone. Basically instead of supporting me they're saying my doctors are wrong.

BPD can manifest with very different outward symptoms. If you feel this diagnosis fits, maybe they are misunderstanding the various/differing manifestations in behaviors/symptoms?

You are further along in your path of being more fully understood by your doctor, which I hope proves helpful.

One of my very best friends suffers a very quiet type of BPD. Most people never suspect BPD in her case. When relationships are very close and she discloses her inner experiences, its much more apparent as to how she suffers.

I do hope the diagnoses prove helpful to you, moving you along toward healing.


WC

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

I can relate to being shocked by a diagnosis...I felt the same way when I found out about PTSD. Right now I am trying to schedule appts so I can be evaluated for additional things which I think this time will hit me harder.

I guess just sitting with it for a while, is what worked for me., and not let it define you as a person. These descriptions and labels from a diagnosis are tools to help get to the right treatment plan. I remind myself that I am much more than a disorder & have a life to live. For example if I had a heart condition that would not be the totally of who I am. I am sry you feel s****y, the positive thing is you now can move fwd with a treatment plan. And moving fwd is what it ia all about

Thank you for this.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

BPD can manifest with very different outward symptoms. If you feel this diagnosis fits, maybe they are misunderstanding the various/differing manifestations in behaviors/symptoms?

You are further along in your path of being more fully understood by your doctor, which I hope proves helpful.

One of my very best friends suffers a very quiet type of BPD. Most people never suspect BPD in her case. When relationships are very close and she discloses her inner experiences, its much more apparent as to how she suffers.

I do hope the diagnoses prove helpful to you, moving you along toward healing.


WC

I'm sure that hearing these things is shocking for some people. I have suffered silently for a very long time and when things would get really bad I would just retreat away from everyone so they couldn't see what I was going through.

I think where I'm having trouble is that from the very few people in my life that I've told I just wanted support and what I got was far from that. My mother told me my doctor was wrong because he must have been swayed by the fact that I have pink hair and issues with my father so I told her the criteria he diagnosed me with and I haven't heard from her since. It's hurtful. Especially when I'm struggling as it is.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie

I'm sure that hearing these things is shocking for some people. I have suffered silently for a very long time and when things would get really bad I would just retreat away from everyone so they couldn't see what I was going through.

I think where I'm having trouble is that from the very few people in my life that I've told I just wanted support and what I got was far from that. My mother told me my doctor was wrong because he must have been swayed by the fact that I have pink hair and issues with my father so I told her the criteria he diagnosed me with and I haven't heard from her since. It's hurtful. Especially when I'm struggling as it is.

My heart goes out to you.

My friend used to simply retreat, too.
Her personal pain was so very deep.

Some parents have to work their way into acceptance. Unfortunately, that time-frame of your mom reaching acceptance is a time when you are not feeling fully supported by her.

Many years ago, I worked with youth suffering mental illnesses. When parents would come in for family meetings and their teen child would tell them how they'd been suffering and the doctor would confirm diagnosis(es) to parents; many parents would protest, stating their children were drug addicts, not suffering any mental illness. (Their children were not drug addicts. Their children were suffering and parents were not ready to hear/accept what was really going on.)

We did find it was helpful for parents to hear directly from their children, as to how their child had been suffering. We'd also found that when we told the parents the parents were not to blame and could offer hope, parents usually came to acceptance sooner. Of course, there are always exceptions.

We had one father blatantly refusing acceptance, because he'd felt if his son had bipolar illness, he'd passed the genes on to his son, which is something he'd never do! Do you see the irrational reasoning? The father was a bright man, too! (Of course he cannot consciously choose which genes he passes on.) He could, somehow, deny his son's struggle this way, which was, somehow, comforting to the father, yet so very invalidating for his son.

You might take a risk and let your mom know you truly need her validation and support?

It's very important your family/friends learn about your experiences and your needs, in order to validate your experiences/needs. You get to choose who you let in on that level. I very much wanted to know more about whatever my friend experienced/needed and I consistently ask, as she has an ingrained habit of just retreating and suffering alone. It's getting better, our ability to relate/understand, as well as to respond to, her inner experiences/needs.

There's a lot of hope!

Some organizations offer education for family members/support systems.

I hope things get better with time.

We are here to support you, too.


WC

[MBM17]

What part of it is bothering you the most?
The shock of having new labels? (That's something I think we all understand - you're not alone there.)
The shock of the borderline piece and what that entails?
The lack of acceptance of diagnoses from your family, which feels like a lack of acceptance of you?

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

My heart goes out to you.

My friend used to simply retreat, too.
Her personal pain was so very deep.

Some parents have to work their way into acceptance. Unfortunately, that time-frame of your mom reaching acceptance is a time when you are not feeling fully supported by her.

Many years ago, I worked with youth suffering mental illnesses. When parents would come in for family meetings and their teen child would tell them how they'd been suffering and the doctor would confirm diagnosis(es) to parents; many parents would protest, stating their children were drug addicts, not suffering any mental illness. (Their children were not drug addicts. Their children were suffering and parents were not ready to hear/accept what was really going on.)

We did find it was helpful for parents to hear directly from their children, as to how their child had been suffering. We'd also found that when we told the parents the parents were not to blame and could offer hope, parents usually came to acceptance sooner. Of course, there are always exceptions.

We had one father blatantly refusing acceptance, because he'd felt if his son had bipolar illness, he'd passed the genes on to his son, which is something he'd never do! Do you see the irrational reasoning? The father was a bright man, too! (Of course he cannot consciously choose which genes he passes on.) He could, somehow, deny his son's struggle this way, which was, somehow, comforting to the father, yet so very invalidating for his son.

You might take a risk and let your mom know you truly need her validation and support?

It's very important your family/friends learn about your experiences and your needs, in order to validate your experiences/needs. You get to choose who you let in on that level. I very much wanted to know more about whatever my friend experienced/needed and I consistently ask, as she has an ingrained habit of just retreating and suffering alone. It's getting better, our ability to relate/understand, as well as to respond to, her inner experiences/needs.

There's a lot of hope!

Some organizations offer education for family members/support systems.

I hope things get better with time.

We are here to support you, too.


WC

Thanks for this. It helped a lot and I am in your debt for that.

I think the fact that my mom is a psychologist made me think she would understand better than others and use her skills as a therapist to know how to offer me support. I was very wrong and I think that's why her reaction has hurt me so much.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by MBM17

What part of it is bothering you the most?
The shock of having new labels? (That's something I think we all understand - you're not alone there.)
The shock of the borderline piece and what that entails?
The lack of acceptance of diagnoses from your family, which feels like a lack of acceptance of you?

The borderlinee diagnosis was the shock to me. I wasn't surprised by the ADHD and I have sort of made piece with being bipolar already. Back when I lived in the states people around me used to use the term 'borderline' to describe people they thought were out of control and had serious mental issues....including my mom who's a psychologist. I think always being around people who used it in such a horribly negative way really bothers me now that I've been diagnosed with it.

I definitly think the lack of acceptance from my mom and best friend feels like an actual acceptance of me. Almost like I have some plague and they don't want to talk about or be around. Or something that they want to wish away or explain away. It's very invalidating. I feel like they've made themselves the victim of my illness and are ignoring the fact that in the one who has to endure and live with it everyday.

[bizi]

Just wanted to offer a hug to you this morning.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie

I think the worst thing I'm dealing with right now is two out of the three people I've told (my mom and my best friend) had an immediate reaction of 'oh you don't have borderline personality disorder, they're wrong, they've misdiagnosed you' and it's really REALLY not helpful.

Would it help if I said I'm not very surprised with it being among your dxs? Consider yourself validated. I've known people who have borderline and exhibit the stereotypical behaviors that it seems they're basing their starements on. I also know my BF. More than anyone. And can tell you that people would never suspect he was either. But I see sides of him others have not. Or not the full range by any stretch. Blah, blah, blah. Point is, it's all too easy to misjudge it.

I've got an appt today with someone I've never met. Very nervous. Same kind of thing where I just don't know how it will go. What to expect. How he will be. How things will be asked. Etc. (And my hair is freshly dyed purple. Hope that's not a problem. )

Sorry this is not very organized (wanted to pick up another quote, can't remember which and am on bus, lol.)

[cincidak]

It stinks that you have felt unaccepted for who you are, and support for what you are going through. Hugs. I truly hope your doctor's are now able to better treat your symptoms. I like to remember a few things. It's not my fault, it's chemical imbalances. It's not a character flaw. It's treatable. It helps me feel better when I feel bad.

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