[Bipolarchic14]

I am not! I am a high functioning bipolar. I get up I shower I go to work i have never lost a job I socialize etc. I am not an alcoholic or a druggie. I have never been to jail. you get the point.

I get really bad suicidal urges. I entered IOP for help. I learned that I need to be straight forward even if I have the urge to lie about supplies etc. so I was. She asked do you have supplies and I was straight forward. I do! She did not do anything! It was like ok. No assistance.

I dropped off my medicine a while ago so maybe they feel I got what I deserve! I dropped it because I was having trouble staying awake at work after sleeping 12+ hrs a night and it makes me vomit. Why would anyone want to live this way! They did not care. Did not suggest anything. I have been in so many situations where I have been suicidal that I am not taken serious and I feel alone. I don't get any attention from it so I know they can't possibly think I am doing it for that! Anyway I am wondering if others feel the same way.

[RomanJames2014]

I am high functioning and people don't believe me even though I've been diagnosed by a doc. It's frustrating because they think I want attention.

I love when I'm hypomanic because I feel like nothing can touch me but as I get older I have been getting worse episodes. Worse bouts of depression and Maia are terrible.

I fully understand what you're saying.

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I'm credible but I am not high-functioning anymore.

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[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

I'm credible but I am not high-functioning anymore.

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And this is part of it! I go to a group paid by insurance. Many of those people don't work but some who don't obviously can. It is possible at one point they could not. Rainy day I don't know you so this is not fully geared at you but you gave me a perfect example. you use the phrase not high functioning anymore suggesting never again rather than currently not high functioning. You don't know what the future brings. And I really don't know if you do work and just don't consider yourself high functioning Or what and it's not my business but I do feel bad for you all the same.

I don't get upset with the people that are on disability and genuinely need the assistance. I also don't care if you're not working because you can afford it. I get upset with those who go on stability because they genuinely need it and then continue on disability because they can not because they need it. And health professionals know this. So as a result many have become judgmental. I feel like I'm being judged rather than heard/helped by health professionals.

[Ellie_jo]

Not sure I'm BP (probably am) but even as a depressed person with GAD I get no love. Sorry to hear that this experience is so common

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Ellie_jo

Not sure I'm BP (probably am) but even as a depressed person with GAD I get no love. Sorry to hear that this experience is so common

And really you don't have to be depressed for this to apply. This is the same for many illnesses. There will always be some that function better than others and some that take advantage of the system.

[xRavenx]

Thanks for bringing this topic up, and I know how annoying it can be to not be taken seriously. I feel my experience is often downplayed based on the fact that people often see the outside "high functioning" me and think I'm doing better than I really am. I have a career, although sometimes I need to take breaks based on BP concerns. People praise me for the fact I was able to get a Master's degree.

However, the pain that I feel and the way Bipolar has affected me in other aspects of my life (and my emotional health) has been devastating to me. Sometimes I wish others around me would take time to get the real me--the whole me, instead of just assuming I'm doing so well when really inside, they would see that I'm barely holding on and not as stable one might think, although meds contributed a lot when it comes to being able to accomplish certain goals. I understand most people mean well and try to point out my strengths as motivators, but sometimes I'm left feeling invalidated, misunderstood, and alone. I'm thankful for people seeing the good things, but I'm just being honest about the other side to it that sometimes bothers me.

[fishin fool]

I am Bipolar 2 and was always pretty high functioning.
As I have gotten older (I am 53) I have needed to be hospitalized and
I can no longer function as I once did.
The people who know me find it hard to except that I am bipolar and can
no longer work. It is frustrating because I know its true but it doesn't feel
like everyone believes me even though I have been diagnosed with it by
two different pdocs. I also have GAD and ADD.
Same thing, some people I know just won't except it.
I know for sure that these diagnoses are correct.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by fishin fool

I am Bipolar 2 and was always pretty high functioning.
As I have gotten older (I am 53) I have needed to be hospitalized and
I can no longer function as I once did.
The people who know me find it hard to except that I am bipolar and can
no longer work. It is frustrating because I know its true but it doesn't feel
like everyone believes me even though I have been diagnosed with it by
two different pdocs. I also have GAD and ADD.
Same thing, some people I know just won't except it.
I know for sure that these diagnoses are correct.

I guess that is the point I am making. You may not be able to work right now, right now your functioning may be low, but you have another 12 to 17 yrs before retirement unless you are rich and can retire early. You have already put yourself into permanent disability status.

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

And this is part of it! I go to a group paid by insurance. Many of those people don't work but some who don't obviously can. It is possible at one point they could not. Rainy day I don't know you so this is not fully geared at you but you gave me a perfect example. you use the phrase not high functioning anymore suggesting never again rather than currently not high functioning. You don't know what the future brings. And I really don't know if you do work and just don't consider yourself high functioning Or what and it's not my business but I do feel bad for you all the same.

I don't get upset with the people that are on disability and genuinely need the assistance. I also don't care if you're not working because you can afford it. I get upset with those who go on stability because they genuinely need it and then continue on disability because they can not because they need it. And health professionals know this. So as a result many have become judgmental. I feel like I'm being judged rather than heard/helped by health professionals.

No offense taken at all. I'm an attorney. I have various diagnoses which I don't need to reiterate here. You're correct I cannot predict the future. I do know myself, how things have changed, and I have the guidance of an excellent treatment team that continues to advise me. I have physical and mental disabilities.

I am a single mom and live with my stepdad because I cannot afford housing. I know 110% about how my conditions affect me and that includes the future. You do sound judgemental but that is ok, although I'm sorry your experience is negative. I apparently am a launching point for your discussion, and that is ok, too. Take care.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

No offense taken at all. I'm an attorney. I have various diagnoses which I don't need to reiterate here. You're correct I cannot predict the future. I do know myself, how things have changed, and I have the guidance of an excellent treatment team that continues to advise me. I have physical and mental disabilities.

I am a single mom and live with my stepdad because I cannot afford housing. I know 110% about how my conditions affect me and that includes the future. You do sound judgemental but that is ok, although I'm sorry your experience is negative. I apparently am a launching point for your discussion, and that is ok, too. Take care.

I am judgemental. Not necessarily about you or the fishing guy, about people who take advantage of the system. Example of what set me off. We were talking in group the other day about getting a job. One lady said she could not because she needs to take her mom to dr appt. after group she said she did not want to lose her disability. If you are well enough to work then you should not be on disability. So this is not geared towards those who legit can't work.

Work is only one part of it rainy day. Another aspect I look at, where I go they have a program for alcoholics for drug abusers and for eating disorders related to anorexia but nothing for overeaters. I know that sounds weird but my drug is sugar and it's a big big problem.

They have a program to help people get back to work but nothing on intimacy and relationships. So there may be bipolars who can't work but can have a loving relationship as an example or any relationship. Let's face it bipolars don't have the best track record with that.
I am able to work but cannot be in a relationship. so they have a certain definition of what it is to be high functioning. So if your life is in shambles but you meet their basic definition then you fall through the cracks.

[jacky8807]

I'm so confused by this post. So is it you feel you don't get enough services because you can work and are considered high functioning?

[Bipolarchic14]

Sorry for the confusion. This is to sum it up as I am not meaning to trigger people. I am a high functioning bipolar, by a definition that is based solely on work. Therefore when I need help in other areas of my life, I need a med change or most importantly when I am suicidal, I am not taken seriously. I have looked at other forums and others have the same issue. I wanted to know if it is common for your symptoms to be overlooked and your issues diminished by your therapy team as a high functioning bipolar. I want to know if it is as common as other articles have suggested. I need to decide whether to simply drop therapy or find another team.

I side tracked into jobs be amuse high functioning bipolars are not taken seriously in part because so many bipolars are on disability. Many therapists train of thought is if you can work you must not be that bad off which is just not always the case.

In regards to services they don't offer enough services that may assist higher functioning people. I went to a career service at the place I go to for them to help me move into the direction of a new career and they would not help me as I am employed.

[Bipolarchic14]

To sum up more when I am in crisis my symptoms are diminished. On an added note they do not have many services that offer to help higher functioning people as concerns past holding employment is not a priority.

Additionally, there are cases when people don't need disability and are on it. Mental health professionals are negatively influenced by these individuals. If whomever is reading this, is in a condition where they can't work, I am sorry for you and I have been in your boat from time to time. I wish you the best in your recovery. My anger is towards those abusing the system and towards the mental health professionals who become biased by negative past experience. Through judgement they overlook those who need the help no matter how high functioning they may seem.

[Wild Coyote]

Interesting observation. I can see how this might happen when it shouldn't.
Thanks for raising awareness.

I have had trouble getting professionals to listen and to help.

I had started with physical disabilities.
They see my persona as strong and articulate, or so they tell me.
When I could use some help, I am often told, "You are bright, articulate and a great self-advocate. You don't need my help."

Lots of similar assumptions are also made if someone is viewed as intelligent and articulate.


WC

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Interesting observation. I can see how this might happen when it shouldn't.
Thanks for raising awareness.

I have had trouble getting professionals to listen and to help.

I had started with physical disabilities.
They see my persona as strong and articulate, or so they tell me.
When I could use some help, I am often told, "You are bright, articulate and a great self-advocate. You don't need my help."

Lots of similar assumptions are also made if someone is viewed as intelligent and articulate.


WC

And there is my point. Ty

[raspberrytorte]

Maybe I've never been considered high functioning and this is why, but I've always had a job and feel I was still taken seriously.

I'm sorry you haven't been.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

When I was considered high functioning I was always treated with respect and appropriate responses were always taken when I was not feeling well. My psychiatrist used to tell me that for the severity of my illness I was the highest functioning patient she had ever seen. But that meant that she reacted quickly if I felt I needed her to in order to try to maintain that level of function. Same with my therapist.

If you aren't getting an appropriate response from your treatment providers because they think you are too high functioning you need another provider.

I wasn't diagnosed until I figured it out for myself and got myself into a specialized mood disorder clinic because I had a pdoc for at least a year who thought that if I had a master's degree and worked in health care it was impossible for me to be bipolar. So I would tell her how awful I was doing and she would document that I was doing extremely well and was just mildly depressed or a bit anxious. In the meantime I was coming home from work and jumping straight into bed in my filthy scrubs and eating only canned ravioli because I wasn't well enough to cook. It was a really bad situation and I am so glad I gave up on her and wish I had done so sooner. Ironically it was her putting me on lithium to help decrease suicidal thoughts that led to my mood swings being much more obvious and my realization that I needed to be evaluated for bipolar.

I will add that sometimes when someone talks about long-term disability it may be part of an adjustment period that you don't know about. It's hard for me to see a future working because I'm having to give up my professional license because I'm too ill to maintain it. Adjusting to that HURTS and makes me unable to picture working. But it is possible that some med might someday make some other kind of work possible. However, right now I am grieving and it feels like it is all over. And that's ok for me to feel because it is a huge loss to know that I am absolutely done forever doing something I loved with all my being. It's impossible to know what someone is exactly referring to or dealing with inside.

[Trippin2.0]

I was very nearly discharged from outpatient services (which include individual T and DBT) by a pdoc who met with me for 10 minutes to review my case (he was cleaning out the hospital because they don't offer indefinite treatment) without bothering to even read my file.


His argument is that I'm high functioning, extremely intelligent, articulate and very well put together. He could not fathom why I needed three hours of therapy every week.


What????


I had a *****fit directly after and my T and the head of the OPD apologized on his behalf, and excused his poor judgment based on me presenting well.


And no, this is not the only example I have of being dismissed due to level of functionality.


At least the therapists know the real score.

[hopeless2015]

I feel like my pdoc and therapist take me seriously, it's my family that doesnt...they seem to think that I can just turn this all off and move on, I wish it were that easy.

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[scatterbrained04]

I am high functioning and have never had a problem with my pdoc or T (when I had one) taking me seriously. I'm sorry you have encountered this issue. I find it unacceptable. Are you able to switch providers?

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[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

I feel like my pdoc and therapist take me seriously, it's my family that doesnt...they seem to think that I can just turn this all off and move on, I wish it were that easy.

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I can relate! My family are the ones that don't take me seriously.

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[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

When I was considered high functioning I was always treated with respect and appropriate responses were always taken when I was not feeling well. My psychiatrist used to tell me that for the severity of my illness I was the highest functioning patient she had ever seen. But that meant that she reacted quickly if I felt I needed her to in order to try to maintain that level of function. Same with my therapist.

If you aren't getting an appropriate response from your treatment providers because they think you are too high functioning you need another provider.

I wasn't diagnosed until I figured it out for myself and got myself into a specialized mood disorder clinic because I had a pdoc for at least a year who thought that if I had a master's degree and worked in health care it was impossible for me to be bipolar. So I would tell her how awful I was doing and she would document that I was doing extremely well and was just mildly depressed or a bit anxious. In the meantime I was coming home from work and jumping straight into bed in my filthy scrubs and eating only canned ravioli because I wasn't well enough to cook. It was a really bad situation and I am so glad I gave up on her and wish I had done so sooner. Ironically it was her putting me on lithium to help decrease suicidal thoughts that led to my mood swings being much more obvious and my realization that I needed to be evaluated for bipolar.

I will add that sometimes when someone talks about long-term disability it may be part of an adjustment period that you don't know about. It's hard for me to see a future working because I'm having to give up my professional license because I'm too ill to maintain it. Adjusting to that HURTS and makes me unable to picture working. But it is possible that some med might someday make some other kind of work possible. However, right now I am grieving and it feels like it is all over. And that's ok for me to feel because it is a huge loss to know that I am absolutely done forever doing something I loved with all my being. It's impossible to know what someone is exactly referring to or dealing with inside.

I am sorry you are going through all that! I graduated from college but at the time was not well enough to pursue a career. I did not know at that time that I was bipolar. It was actually the anxiety that made it difficult. I am trying to get direction which is why I went to their employment services. Every month I pay student loans for a degree I cannot use because it is too late.

I had a similar situation. I would go home and right to bed and sleep all night. When I decided to join an IOP program because of strong suicidal urges, she said it is good to go to a program like that when I am not in an episode. Who says that!

[Bipolarchic14]

So from what I am seeing on here, I need a new mental health team!

[Melancholy472]

I don't know if I'd call myself highly functioning, but I get up every morning even though I wish I could sleep all day and drag myself to work. I take my kids to school, soccer. I clean, grocery shop and keep myself presentable. But it is a struggle every single day to go to work. I don't know if it's my illness or if it's just not a good fit for me. I cut out early when I can. I take long lunches. I make excuses to get out of taking team trips. I get angry when people ask me to do things that are part of my job. And then I drink when I get home, mostly beer. I'm on meds and I take them religiously, and I know the alcohol can interfere, but honestly, I've felt every bit as depressed when not drinking as I do when I am drinking. I don't want to tell my doctor that the depression isn't any better and that I feel like I'm living on borrowed time before I just withdraw from everything and lose my job because 1/ he'll bring up the alcohol and/or 2/ he'll want to switch my meds and I just can't go through that roller coaster ride again. I just keep sucking it up and marching forward. But I'm miserable and I don't want to do any of this anymore. I get up every morning for my family. So I don't burden my husband and frighten the children. But my heart hurts and today just isn't the day that I can ignore these feelings. I just try to make it through one more day. And the beer helps, but it takes a lot of beer to feel relief anymore. I don't know what to do so I just keep going.