[Prozac1964]

Hi everyone, I have bipolar disorder. Lately I've been having some difficulty with what I call bipolar attacks, especially concerning my girlfriend. I was diagnosed in 1996, so I've had bipolar for 20 years. I respond well to treatment and overall I do well.

However with my girlfriend of 6 months now, we have been attacking each other. She has no mental illness but she stated that she has always been hot-tempered. I noticed over the course of our relationship she has a tendency to start fights or at the very least antagonize me.

When she does this, I ignore it at first but then I worsen over a couple of days, when I'm alone, and then I get angry and attack her with words - really cutting words. All we fight with is words since she lives in Ukraine and I in the USA. But here is the odd thing - most of my attacks against her, I don't remember or only vaguely remember. Sort of like a psychotic break.

Now in my opinion my attacks are mainly triggered by hers, but she has greater control over her attacks and remembers everything. What I'm trying to discover is if people with bipolar disorder can verbally or in writing attack those around them and not recall it, and is it possible that bipolar people have triggers that cause these attacks.

If so, I would sure love to learn from everyone here who has bipolar or a family member that does, because I dearly love my girlfriend. Even though she hurts me from time to time, I think I hurt her worse.
Well that's about it. If I didn't explain this well, please tell me and please ask questions. Thank you.

[mindwrench]

When I am in the depressive side of things I am easily irritated, and annoyed. I have to really try to select my words as I will say things that are insulting or hurtful to people around me if they are getting on my nerves. I don't intend to attack them or hurt them, but my mood can be so gritty and cynical that I cutting words just flow from my mouth. So yes I may not remember saying something so rude, because I may have dialed down what I was going to say.

As far as my triggers for those attacks. Pretty much if somebody wont leave me alone, or pushes an issue while I am in that mode then I will get nasty with them. I go into isolation to protect their feelings as well as mine.

[Prozac1964]

thank you very much! great reply!

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I had an attack just like that where I blacked out. The person had screen shots of my texts and when I seen it, I was so embarrassed. But I couldn't explain to them that it was a BP episode because this person is ignorant as all hell. It's definitely alarming when you lose control. It scared me! Now as far as triggers.. My dad is a trigger for me and I haven't been to his house in months and we live in the same city. Just today we got in a fight and I called him some nasty stuff. I'm not proud. Maybe you can work with a T about your anger issues and definitely tell pdoc about these blackouts. As far as your gf goes... Do you really want to be in this verbally abusive relationship? You're both abusive with tempers and that's a nasty mix.

[Rabbity9]

I recently read the book "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. Ask your girlfriend to read it. One of the things it emphasizes is that to be a good partner to someone with Bipolar, you have to take steps to be a stabilizing influence for them, not a destabilizing influence. Your girlfriend seems like a very destabilizing influence for you. Maybe she can take steps to be a better partner to you, but maybe this is just how she is. If that's the case, then you're probably better off moving on. I'm sure you care about her deeply, but if she undermines your stability by intentionally provoking you, then she is not a good partner for you.