[Gs550]

Whenever I come out or start to come out of a depressive episode I throw myself into recovery - support groups and writing in my journal twice a day and more yoga and exercise and reading self help books, etc. I do everything I can to help myself feel better and be more stable.

There's nothing wrong with that, but after a certain point (I do work full time) it becomes really hard to maintain. I'm tired so I don't go to my support group. I overslept so I don't write in my journal.

And on top of that, I start to feel like my entire life is dedicated to managing BP instead of living. So eventually, I stop putting too much energy into it. Then of course, every couple of years things fall apart so I don't know.

How do you feel about your BP? Is your whole life dedicated to staying stable, or is BP just an aspect of your life? Does focusing too much on BP reduce the quality of your life?

[SvanThor]

If you feel nothing but good things come from it, then I don't see how it is negative.

[Gs550]

It's not that I think any of those things are bad, it's just I spend so much time on it. I want to feel as "normal" as possible, and I don't think most people dedicate an hour or more a day to anything with the exception of work, school, or crazy fitness people.

I guess I just feel that overall, spending so much of my time that way reduces the quality of my life. I could be relaxing, reading, cooking, going out with a friend. Instead I'm using a therapeutic writing prompt to explore my relationships.

[fairydustgirl]

I think in the beginning of recovering from an episode it's good to actively engage in things that help. But as in all things, moderation is the key. You threw yourself into a LOT of different things. I'd have had a hard time keeping up with more than 2

Perhaps pick a couple of things that you really enjoy, yoga sounds like a pretty good choice since it is both relaxing and healthy exercise for your body. If you like to journal, great, if it's a chore, I say drop it. I like to write so journaling is a fun thing for me. And it gets thoughts out of my head...but I don't do it every day unless something is bothering me and I"m trying to work something out.

The things you wrote that you'd like to be doing instead of all that 'self help' stuff...is really self help stuff too, because you enjoy it. cooking, reading, relaxing, visiting with friends...those are all important things too. Don't stop living life because you are wholly engaged in trying to prevent relapses.

I used to be a part of support groups and was a facilitator for several years but had to quit because it had become unhealthy for me and a source of major anxiety. So if your support group is great, I'd stick with that but again, if it's a chore and you find yourself not wanting to engage with all those folks, then don't go. The group I was a part of was great when it was small, under 8 people...it started to grow to unmanageable proportions of people (18 one night) who were doing very badly because they were either 1)not taking medicines as they should or 2) not doing therapy outside...we were peers and not equipped to handle that.

Anyway, topic for a different discussion right?

Just do what you think you can handle and leave the rest. I think recovery is an ongoing process as we are never 'cured'...but we can try to manage things. If you are anything like me, I just can't manage a lot of different activities or my anxiety will get the better of me.

Oh. and How I feel about my bp? I was diagnosed late in life...although I think a part of me changed because of the illness and the medicines...the part of me that was before that is still there. I am still the person I was all those years before. So, it's a part of me now, but it is not who I am nor is it a focus of my daily life. I honestly am able to wake these days and not do that 'scan' thing to see what my mood is going to be for the day. I just get up and go. Maybe that's just cause I don't have time to do that in the morning as I have stereo dog tongues in my ears trying to get me up to walk them so they can go potty lol

I wish you the best!

[Ellie_jo]

Gs550, I think I can relate. I also have a hard time keeping up with all of the things that I need to do to recover. I sometimes feel like every moment is structured as some form of self help or therapy or exercise or coping tool.

Fairydustgirl, I think that is very wise! Thank you for sharing your insight!

[bioChE]

BP is part of me and part of my life. Recovery doesn't take 100% of my time and energy, I am grateful that it's probably 10-20%. That being said, there are times in my life, such as IP, when it's been necessary to have that 100% focus on getting better.

[venusss]

I found out that in a weird way, being very very busy and not being able on my own misery helps greatly.

I don't overanalyze every teeny weeny symptom... and am forced just to go with the flow... and eventually, it passes.

Lately there are days when I don't spend any time at all focusing on my effed up ness... unless you count living somewhat healhy life and making right choices as part of the "recovery". Likely not. It's just life.

[Unrigged64072835]

I think that the amount I spend tends to ebb and flow with my MI. Sometimes I'm all into it, and other times I don't get into it at all. It all varies.

[bizi]

I have a self help little book case.
addictive personality
harm reduction from drinking
30-day sobriety solution
dieting to lose weight
Codependancy
intimacy
narcisist
mother/daughter wisdom
shadow syndromes
yes I have done the support groups and have been a facilitator but got overwhelmed and crashed.
I have journaled before but it got to be a hypo manic thing as most of my obsessions become.
I feel like when ever I start buying more self help books that is when I am starting to cycle again.
sigh
bizi

[fairydustgirl]

Originally Posted by bizi

I have a self help little book case.
addictive personality
harm reduction from drinking
30-day sobriety solution
dieting to lose weight
Codependancy
intimacy
narcisist
mother/daughter wisdom
shadow syndromes
yes I have done the support groups and have been a facilitator but got overwhelmed and crashed.
I have journaled before but it got to be a hypo manic thing as most of my obsessions become.
I feel like when ever I start buying more self help books that is when I am starting to cycle again.
sigh
bizi

I totally get you on the self help books...I bought so many after my diagnosis that I was able to start a lending library for the support group family group! You can only read so many books about bp and then they start repeating themselves. But yeah, anger, codependency, anxiety, those got mixed in the with the bp books/workbooks. Now, unless I happen to see a new book with some new information in it, I don't pick them up anymore...
ok, I admit it..I did get 'dating over 50 for dummies' lol...it didn't help!

[~Christina]

Fresh out of an episode I am much more aware of how I'm feeling and "watch" my actions a bit closer.

But I actively try to keep my Bipolar as small a part of my daily life as possible.

I basically wake up and do a quick self check and go about my day.

It's hard not to be hyper vigilant about BP but it can also keep an episode ongoing.

I agree ^.

I struggle everyday. Well, maybe 20 out of days of the month. The other 10 days, are days when I am very busy and can't stop to think about it as often. Maybe those are my 10 hypomanic days a month?

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Gs550

And on top of that, I start to feel like my entire life is dedicated to managing BP instead of living. So eventually, I stop putting too much energy into it. Then of course, every couple of years things fall apart so I don't know.

How do you feel about your BP? Is your whole life dedicated to staying stable, or is BP just an aspect of your life? Does focusing too much on BP reduce the quality of your life?

You've read my mind. Right now it feels like it's taken over my life to manage my symptoms for the past year or so. Pdoc appointments are more complex now. Before it was like 'everything is good, here are your refills' whereas now I'm going through all my moods and giving more explanations of what is happening. Meds are consistently being adjusted, tapered off, added, whatever. As far as reducing the quality of my life. Not so sure. I use being around my sister and her family as a wonderful distraction. But the anxiety comes right back afterwords. And I continue to chase stability again.