This is my life these days: Definition: Nibbled To Death means that you have to do this, then you have to do that, then every little thing, and while each thing on its own may be insignificant, the totality is overwhelming. Once long ago I wrote a poem called "House Monster." I definitely need help around the apartment. I'm really stressing out.

If you can afford a house cleaner, I highly recommend doing so. My friend got one and it really helped her. If I could afford one, I'd totally get one. I'm sorry you are so overwhelmed. I can relate and was exactly where you are (overwhelmed) a few days ago. Stay strong!

[SickCycleCarousel]

I am so there too at the moment! I get all these ideas of motivation & think "yep! I'll start here & then go there!" Etc & then i look around me & i become so overwhelmed & think how the hell am i ever going to fix this?! The frustration is real!

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[hopeless2015]

Yep, I can relate....frustrating

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[SickCycleCarousel]

I love the sudden onset of euphoria though, when that happens, i clean like theres no tomorrow but after it slows down, im proud that achieved just the slightest bit but still feel like im running on the spot with chores, it literally never ends!

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Dear friends, ElsaMars, SickCycleCarousel, and Hopeless2015. Thanks for all your great posts. Before I answer them, I need to know how to get email notices when threads I'm on have replies. SickCycleCarlousel, your name is great. I'm guessing it applies to how you see life, or your life, but it certainly applies to my thread here! Hopeless2015, I hope that you have found something to hope for. For me, I MUST, must,must have a purpose in life. That's what takes the place of "empty hope" or hopelessness. I have goals. I'm a musician, and I share my music. I see my friends. Some women I was friends with have turned out to be a mistake. The result is that now I have only one long time, close woman friend. She's fading from my life, too, I think. But that's another story. Anyway, I have just gotten two women from a Craig's list ad I put in wanting to meet women who want to go to local theatre productions with me. I plan to meet each one individually for coffee in the next week or 2. In a few weeks, too, I plan to do another Craig's list ad to meet a few women over 55 who have rapid cycling bipolar disorder, for friendship and support. Like a small support group, to go fun places, etc, and call on the phone to talk about hard times and fun times. The mental health drop in centers where I live have all closed down. Apparently it's a "turf issue." Meaning that since the drop in centers made people's mental health improve tremendously, kept them out of the hospital, and cost way, way, way less than hospitalization, the powers that be closed them because they took money away from the state hospitals. So we have to do what we can. A lot of people have died as a result of the drop in center close downs. I am also a very creative person. My lifelong passion is playing music. I quit piano after 50 years, and switched to mandolin. I sing, too, and perform occasionally. I play music with friends 2-3 times a week. So, Hopeless2015, although I am a political activist, I keep saying to myself that my purpose in life is not to change political things over which I have no control. My purpose in life is to share my music and create opportunities for other musicians to meet meet each other and play, jam, form bands. I give them opportunities to do all that, and lots of encouragement, and playing music with friends keeps me happy. ElsaMars, yes, you are right about a house cleaner. I can afford a house keeper. I have had someone for many years. She comes 2 hours a week, and that's how things stay clean. But I need much more help. I need someone to help me keep things IN ORDER and NEAT. My housekeeper and friend does not like helping with things like itty bitty pieces of paper,and my need to have a friendly, bossy person to push me to get rid of stuff. Thanks goodness I'm not a hoarder! I'm a clutterer. I have had help of this sort in the past, but now I don't have anyone. My pdoc might know how to get someone; and maybe my therp does. I'm seeing my therp on Monday. The non-profit he works for has maybe 20 different sorts of programs, several of which are for disabled, elderly, and or mentally ill people. So, all of you and anyone else who checks in on this topic, being "nibbled to death" by my apartment clutter is stopping me from my music and other activities that bring me happiness and stability.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

I know exactly what you mean! Two people have helped me with this - the first was my husband, when I was having a meltdown early on in our marriage after our first child was born, and I was stressed about feeling like I could never get 'done' with the laundry. He looked at me, a little bewildered by my statement, and said of course I (we) could never be done with it...it was just something that always was there. We kept wearing clothes, so there would ALWAYS be laundry. The same goes for all other household chores. If you're living in your home, you will virtually always be in the midst of most chores.

That was really hard for me, because I typically seek to feel like I've completed something. With the household chores, you're just rarely ever DONE with something. They're ongoing.

The other person who helped was my therapist. She really helped me to look at my permanent list of things I felt like were never done or never done well enough. For me, at that time, it was food. Getting just the right combinations of foods in each meal for myself, my husband and my family was a big deal - especially for my kids. I would literally spend time stressing out about the number of servings of vegetables my kids had in a day and in a week. When we had vegetables at every dinner and fruit at every breakfast anyway. This far away from that scenario, I can't quite remember why I was so stressed about that particular issue. But she really helped me to relax about the things I felt like I always had to be on top of at all times and allow myself the space to breath when I couldn't realistically get everything on 'my list' done while remaining sane. She helped me to feel OK with leaving some things left undone and prioritizing my emotional health every bit as much as I prioritize my laundry and my kids' vegetable servings.

Finally, my husband has a saying that really helps me when I feel overwhelmed by the volume of things that need to get done (it works in practically EVERY scenario I try it in): Pick a corner. When I'm cleaning the house and can't figure out where to start, pick a corner. When I'm working on a project for work and I can't figure out which of the 7 or so tasks to do first...pick a corner. It even works for my kids when cleaning their rooms, or something similar, feels like an overwhelming task. Yesterday, my son got stressed thinking about clearing off the top of his dresser. I told him he didn't have to do it all at once; I asked him to pick up 7 things and put them away, then check in with me. 7 was manageable. 7 wasn't overwhelming. 7 was picking a corner.

I also feel better, sometimes, when I make a list that helps me keep track of everything that needs to get done, then prioritizing the things that must get done vs. those that should get done in an ideal world vs. those that would be nice, but are completely non-essential. Then, checking off the list makes me feel great, like progress is being made. I also can use the list to let my husband or kids know the things I would like them to do to get our house in order.

I'm not sure if any of these tactics would work for you in your life. They work for me from time to time, but usually when I'm already in a place that is open to progress. It's by and large ineffective if I'm in a low depression; it's better for when I'm baseline or hypomanic and have the energy to approach any of it. When I'm depressed, both my T and my husband have worked hard to help me figure out that doing nothing that's non-essential is my best bet for taking care of myself.

Hope you can get ahead of the stress that all the little bits cause when taken together/constantly.

Dear No Idea, who has presented some very good ideas! I'm going to write my reponses in bold, underlined in your message. I know exactly what you mean! Two people have helped me with this - the first was my husband, Thank you to all Good Men and Fine Husbands, wherever they may be! when I was having a meltdown Yes, meltdown! I'm having them a lot these days, during the period of med changes. early on in our marriage after our first child was born, and I was stressed about feeling like I could never get 'done' with the laundry. He looked at me, a little bewildered by my statement, and said of course I (we) could never be done with it...it was just something that always was there. We kept wearing clothes, so there would ALWAYS be laundry. The same goes for all other household chores. If you're living in your home, you will virtually always be in the midst of most chores. My apartment is very small. One bedroom, one living room, kitchenette, bath, short hallway, no deck. It feels like a mess all the time. My desk is the worst. I get bamboozled trying to sort through it all. My house cleaner stacks desk stuff neatly, and by the end of that day, it's a mess all over again. I can't find stuff. I can't even locate stuff I need in my backpack. I have a set of headphones that enable me to hear my cell phone\ when I am outdoors. I had them yesterday. They've now been gone for 24 hours. This is not unusual. I know they are are in here somewhere, but where? I don't know. This frosts my b*tt and upsets me a lot.

That was really hard for me, because I typically seek to feel like I've completed something. With the household chores, you're just rarely ever DONE with something. They're ongoing.

The other person who helped was my therapist. I'm going to see my therp day after tomorrow. He said on the phone he thinks he's got some good ways to help me through this She really helped me to look at my permanent list of things I felt like were never done or never done well enough. For me, at that time, it was food. Getting just the right combinations of foods in each meal for myself, my husband and my family was a big deal - especially for my kids. I would literally spend time stressing out about the number of servings of vegetables my kids had in a day and in a week. When we had vegetables at every dinner and fruit at every breakfast anyway. This far away from that scenario, I can't quite remember why I was so stressed about that particular issue. But she really helped me to relax about the things I felt like I always had to be on top of at all times and allow myself the space to breath when I couldn't realistically get everything on 'my list' done while remaining sane. She helped me to feel OK with leaving some things left undone and prioritizing my emotional health every bit as much as I prioritize my laundry and my kids' vegetable servings.

Finally, my husband has a saying that really helps me when I feel overwhelmed by the volume of things that need to get done (it works in practically EVERY scenario I try it in): The problem is I can't get started because I'm so overwhelmed. Pick a corner. I can't concentrate enough to pick ANYTHING. When I'm cleaning the house and can't figure out where to start, pick a corner. When I'm working on a project for work and I can't figure out which of the 7 or so tasks to do first...pick a corner. It even works for my kids when cleaning their rooms, or something similar, feels like an overwhelming task. Yesterday, my son got stressed thinking about clearing off the top of his dresser. I told him he didn't have to do it all at once; I asked him to pick up 7 things and put them away, then check in with me. 7 was manageable. 7 wasn't overwhelming. 7 was picking a corner.

I also feel better, sometimes, when I make a list that helps me keep track of everything that needs to get done, then prioritizing the things that must get done vs. those that should get done in an ideal world vs. those that would be nice, but are completely non-essential. Then, checking off the list makes me feel great, like progress is being made. I also can use the list to let my husband or kids know the things I would like them to do to get our house in order.

I'm not sure if any of these tactics would work for you in your life. They are very good tactics. I've used them successfully in the past. I think right now it's my whole mental state that's working against doing anything, AND suddenly - yes, suddenly -- getting old. I was doing well, t hen I fell on my back on the sidewalk. I was a slow mover before, now I'm slower then ever. Plus, my hands tremble slightly. All this upsets me hugely and makes getting things done around the house infinitely too slow. I have to go really slow or I knock stuff over or drop stuff. That's why I seriously need personal assistance now. Not just now, either -- I had this type of assistance paid for by Medicaid years ago. The need has never gone away. Oh, and by the way, when I was younger, in fact from the time I was a baby though the time I worked, I was so fast and coordinated that people were amazed. I won a sprinting race with the fastest football player in 6th grade. Nobody else was there, so of course he didn't tell anyone. There were no girls' track teams in the 1950s. I was noted by pretty much every boss or supervisor I had as being the fastest, most efficient, and accurate worker they'd ever had. It's really hard for me to accept my loss of speed, efficiency, accuracy, and concentration.They work for me from time to time, but usually when I'm already in a place that is open to progress. It's by and large ineffective if I'm in a low depression; it's better for when I'm baseline or hypomanic and have the energy to approach any of it. When I'm depressed, both my T and my husband have worked hard to help me figure out that doing nothing that's non-essential is my best bet for taking care of myself.

Hope you can get ahead of the stress that all the little bits cause when taken together/constantly.

Originally Posted by flowerbells

This is my life these days: Definition: Nibbled To Death means that you have to do this, then you have to do that, then every little thing, and while each thing on its own may be insignificant, the totality is overwhelming. Once long ago I wrote a poem called "House Monster." I definitely need help around the apartment. I'm really stressing out.

Hi, welcome to PC forums!

I'm not in your situation and I not minimizing things - but how about ignoring those nibblers that can wait if you think about it.

There are very few things in life we have to do. Eat is one of them. Mopping is not. Etc.

A lot of them just expire on their own, too.

I do relate. But wanted to welcome you and give you food for thought. xo

Thank you for the welcome, Rainyday. I've been away for a while, but I''m around from time to time. You wrote: "I'm not in your situation and I not minimizing things" That was a nice thing to say.

and " - but how about ignoring those nibblers that can wait if you think about it. " I did that this morning, and that's how I was able to calm down enough to get to the party my b/f and went to in the afternoon. It's just that the clutter and demands of my small apt. rattle me. They scream at me, in a way. It was like when I used to garden. I had beautiful yards in 3 homes (sequentially) Large flowering shrubs, beautiful perennials, and a veg garden. All I would see were the dead-head flowers to pick off, the weeds to pull....it was always something that detracted from the fruits of my gardening labor, and I loved doing it, but I really wanted to just bask in it and I never could. You know what -- whenever I move to a new place, I do into my new apt or home and there is NOTHING IN THERE. I love it! The walls are bare, there is room everywhere. I swear I will never, ever put anything on the walls. But I always do, and I really do so much enjoy what's on my walls. Not the least of which is original art work - some of my own, some of my boyfriends, some of my late best friend, and other things my artistic friends give me and a few I've bought.

Originally Posted by SickCycleCarousel

I love the sudden onset of euphoria though, when that happens, i clean like theres no tomorrow but after it slows down, im proud that achieved just the slightest bit but still feel like im running on the spot with chores, it literally never ends!

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I have to laugh at your energy around the house/apt! I think I've been that way sometimes in the distant past. I'm too old for that, now,I guess. I move soooo..... slow.....w. That's part of my problem with doing house stuff. The other part is that I get so distracted I can't do major work around the house. There are SMALL piles of paper on my desk, such that I can't find things I need. If I start to do stuff, it seems like every paper there requires some sort of ACTION. Call the bank about this one; call the friend who wrote this one; open this big envelope and figure out where to file it the contents -- dozens of these things... (Actually, inside the file drawers are very well organized -- just not on the surface every horizontal area in the whole apartment.)