[Tucson]

I think that due to my life having been out of control at times, and doing allot of crazy things, some of which I am embarrased about to this day, this has undermined confidence in myself. All the facts tell me I can be quite capable, that is if I am functioning well. But I find myself second guessing what I think and feel. I can have doubts and insecurities much of the time. Others have taken advantage of this either knowingly or not being aware of their own behavior.

Has anyone had this problem? Do you think it may be due to a lifetime of BP? This problem has affected me in many ways.

Tucson

[gayleggg]

Could be. I have many things that I'm embarrassed about too, that I did while manic. It makes me second guess my choices even though I'm stable now.

[hamster20017]

Lots of self doubt. I'm lucky that in my job, self doubt is acceptable. I'm a teacher. If I ever doubt my self (like with spelling), it's perfectly OK to look up the word. Also, as I'm considered the expert in class, I make all sorts of mistakes and no one calls me on them. Try to find a job like this.

[fishin fool]

Self doubt is a common issue for many of us.
There are things I have done also that embarrass me and
will probably always haunt me if I dwell on them.
I was very capable most of my life but when I look back
at it I really did make some very bad decisions.
As I get older I find my confidence slipping quite a bit.

[Unrigged64072835]

I have plenty of self-doubt. It keeps me locked in a limited state.

[Espurr1989]

I have self-doubt too since my mania w/psychosis. I feel like I can't trust myself. And if I feel good and confident in myself for a day or a few days, is it mania creeping back? My husband fears this and when I get like that, he has me take my meds and go to sleep. It is like I have to be flat anymore. I cant cry or be mad either. Or at least that's how it feels. I know he wants me to be healthy and pull myself past it, but that is just not the reality of the situation at this time. When someone calls me on a mistake at work, it can be like the end of the world for me. I cry in front of everyone out of embarrassment and anger. I hate it because I feel like other people could see it as me trying to get attention or manipulate people into feeling sorry for me. But it is an instant reaction, as hard as I try to hold in the tears.

[Tucson]

My self doubt has become pathological, and I have a set of learned behaviors that work against me as a result. Almost all of the time I do not assert myself, thinking that other peoples opinions are what matters. I play up to people and what they feel and think. Sometimes I feel like I am walking on eggs to keep other people happy. My daughter is an example. I let others take advantage of me instead of speaking up. It is as though I am not worth standing up for. My neighbor is an example here who is taking advantage of me financially. I let situations with people okay out in my head, finding myself attempting to justify my feelings and behavior, when it obviously is the other person who has the problem. I feel like I am trying to live in a small box. I wish I could behave assertively and guilt free.

Tucson

yes, I can relate to this. (((Hugs)))