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  #1  
Old Oct 12, 2016, 09:14 PM
franz kafka's Avatar
franz kafka franz kafka is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: NY
Posts: 1,168
For the past two weeks I've had periods of time where my thinking is totally messed up. It's painful to be awake; all I want is to be unconscious. Sometimes I feel like there's an entity putting self-harm thoughts in my head. The other day I planned a suicide attempt, but felt better by the end of the day and didn't follow through on it. Then I have periods where I feel fairly normal and my judgement is good.

Is this a kind of rapid cycling? Random symptoms?

I'd say it's nothing to worry about because the symptoms are transient, but the suicidal ideation was very significant. I've had to enlist my fiancee's help in staying safe.
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dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD
rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN
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Anonymous59125, Daonnachd, gina_re, MusicLover82, Yours_Truly

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  #2  
Old Oct 12, 2016, 10:39 PM
MusicLover82 MusicLover82 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: USA
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That sounds horrifying. I would talk with my pdoc to let him/her know what is going on. If you start to make suicidal plans, go to the nearest emergency room ASAP!!!! It sounds like you may need a med adjustment.
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...Out of night and alarm
Out of terrible dreams
Reach me your hand!
This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep:
The white peace of the waking.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~

Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart
Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN
Thanks for this!
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  #3  
Old Oct 13, 2016, 09:25 AM
Coffeee Coffeee is offline
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I second everything music said. It's worrisome even if it's transient!
  #4  
Old Oct 13, 2016, 12:13 PM
Anonymous59125
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I would let your professional mental health support know what's going on. When I get transient but strong SI, there is a concern I could act impulsively in the moment (it's happened before). I don't know if you have problems with impulsivity, but definately be on the watch. I'm so sorry you are feeling so terrible periodically and I hope this symptoms resolved quickly. (((Hugs and healing to you)))
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